Chapter 5 - giving in

I took the rest of the day off work, and went clothes shopping. I needed work clothes and some jeans and shirts.
I went for jeans and tried on 32's...way too tight. 34's....still too tight. 36....snug but fit. I couldn't believe I had to buy this size but I accepted it. I knew even if I started a diet it would take a while to get back to my old size, and the way things were going it seemed more likely that I'd be back buying bigger stuff before smaller.
I even got some bigger sweatpants, since my other pair's waistband was starting to be uncomfortable.
I grabbed a bunch of food and took it home. I spent Friday night sitting around in sweatpants and no shirt and pigging out without guilt. I knew that Erica might not like me this way, but if that were so I could diet if she made me. I liked the feeling of not worrying about my weight, and just being full and eating what I wanted. I was starting to feel proud of the size of my gut, and wasn't afraid for it to be noticed. This is who I was now. Someone who loved to eat, and had to squeeze into size 36 jeans.

...

The next day I went over to Jake's for the bbq. When I came in I said hi to his wife Jenny, who hadn't seen me much since I started to gain. She didn't mention the weight but I could tell from her face that she noticed it right away. She couldn't really talk though, since she was pretty thin when she married Jake, and had ballooned up right along side him. She gave him a look that implied that he had told her about my growing waistline, and she agreed.
Jake, Jenny, Scott and I stuffed ourselves for most of the day, and drank quite a bit of beer.
When night fell Jake suggested we go in the hot tub. I hesitated. Though I was starting to feel comfortable in my new weight, I didn't know if I wanted to be seen without a shirt. I never in my life had this feeling before. Scott and Jenny went to change into swimsuits, and I told Jake I couldn't go in because I forgot mine. He told me I could go home and grab it since I didn't live to far. I started to make another excuse when Scott came out of the bathroom. He was wearing just his trunks and no shirt, and was fatter than I had thought he was. He didn't have a big prominent gut like me or Jake, he was more flabby all over with a pair of saggy man-boobs, and large love handles. The scrawny little scott that I used to know was nowhere to be seen. He had no problem standing there in all his fatness.
This made me lose my nervousness. I mean, I knew I was fatter, these guys knew I was fatter, and they were all fatter than me so who cares.
I finally just decided to come clean and get it out in the open, so I pulled Jake aside and said "The truth is, I can't get my suit because I'm too fat for it now."
"Ha, I had a feeling" he responded, "You can use one of my old ones, what size are you now? 34?"
"36" I responded.
"Wow, OK" Jake said as he went to his bedroom. He came back out and gave me a suit. I went to the bathroom and put it on. It was a little tight, but it worked. I left my tshirt on and came outside.
Scott was in the hot tub and Jake was just getting in. It had been a while since I saw Jake without a shirt, his gut was enormous. He too looked fatter than I thought he would. His dad was always pretty heavy, and it was crazy how much he had adopted his body type. If my child self saw Jake now he would be shocked.
I took off my shirt and tried to get into the hot tub. Jake instantly commented.
"Woah, look at that belly. It's bigger than I thought."
"Yeah I guess", I responded. I jiggled it and tried to act like I didn't feel awkward about it "definitely have been putting on some pounds."
They wanted to know how much I weighed but I didn't know. Now that the ice was broken, the three of us had a conversation about how fat we were getting. I talked about how much my appetite had grown, and that I popped buttons and needed new clothes. They asked what Erica thought and I said I didn't know, but she had gotten a bit chubby too so she couldn't really complain.
When Jenny came out, I was caught off guard. I hadn't seen her in a bathing suit since she was married, and couldn't believe that that was her. Without the loose flowing dresses she always wears I could see the extent of weight she had gained. Her two piece left nothing to the imagination, and her whole body swayed and jiggled as she walked to the hot tub. She may have even gained more than Jake.
I was glad I was sitting in water because I got a huge erection at the site of her. I always knew I liked curvy girls, but seeing her body transformed into this large soft beautiful woman drove me wild. I wondered if Jake felt the same way and that's why they had grown so fat together.
I thought about Erica and wondered if she would ever get that big, and pictured her in a big womanly body like that. I wondered if I would ever be as big as Jake. I watched them sit together in the hot tub, and thought to myself "maybe that's what I want".
We spent the rest of the night eating, drinking, and feeling free to be fat with our fat friends.