Chapter 1 - talking dirty to my eclair

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I knew my lust for delicious fattening food of all kinds would eventually get to me!

Well, I'll admit it: I've started talking dirty to eclairs. And my eclairs have started talking back. Haha!

Here's a story I wrote for the now-defunct 69_words, the short-short erotica site for those who need a quick fix (using exactly 69 words, no more, no fewer):

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TIT LE: Talking Dirty to My Eclair
69-word-erotica
By Zonker aka GrowingLoveHandles

"Oh my, you look so scrumptuous this morning, sugar! Good enough to eat!"

"Come on, Big Boy! I know just what you want to do to me! Lick me, love me!"

"Oooh, you chocolatey temptress! Let me nibble on you a little, sweety! You are so creamy and soft inside!"

"Eat me up, Chubs!"

"Mmmm, yummy, delicious, babe, lick, gulp . . . "

"Oooooohh, you're getting bigger and . . . bigger!!"

"Gulp . . . moan, . . . burp!"

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POST- STORY NOTE FROM AUTHOR:

Well, that's what happens when you get your sexual appetite mixed up with your gustatory appetite. And right now, I'm kind of busy with some Halloween Fun Size Nestle Crunches. They are calling for me from the candydish. . . .

I say, "Mmm, you little devils are luscious, sinfully f*ckalicious!

They whisper seductively, "And you're getting chubbilcious, so wonderfully big and round! Eat us up, Fat Boy! We'll make you Fun Size just like us!"

"Mmmmm, mmmm, oh, oh, oh, mmmmmmm!"

There are still four or five left in the candybowl, and now, they ask temptingly, "What's wrong, Tubs? Can't you handle all of us? Aren't you big enough?"

"Ooooh, oooh, ooh, mmmmm!"

Then, the last one decadently melts in my mouth . . . and I pat my bulging belly!

I think I hear some Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies moaning decadently from inside my desk drawer... Gotta go now.

Have a great day, and enjoy some delicious food, whether it talks to you or not! ;)

FURTHER NOTE (trying to get to 2000 characters): I have a few similar stories for Halloween candy, and I will post them closer to Halloween.