hot stuff

Straight out (as in stuck to only being straight out)? I doubt it.

Limited to some angle? Absolutely

I've done a bit of padding using many small water balloons (just regular balloons from the dollar store, filled with as much water as they easily hold). Because each balloon is not stretched out it is not easy to break, and if one does leak it is not a lot of water. The downsides of course is that it is fiddly to fill and tie up large numbers of balloons, and you need to find a way to contain them all, and smooth out the slight lumpiness (I think a towel between them and snug spandex might work, but didn't get to try that yet). One plus is that it is easy to add or remove some balloons to get the volume about right.

I was never especially thin (lowest adult weight, in Uni, was 170 lbs at 5'8", but at that weight I was still good for playing soccer and floor hockey and broomball and so forth and never noticed my size. Currently I'm just under 240 lbs, which is my heaviest (also decades older, and tbh in the worst shape I can remember).. So not the most dramatic change, but still very substantial.

Living with the effects of my size is honestly pretty easy the vast majority of the time.

First of all, you kind of naturally adapt. You just don't even think of, say, sprinting after something that blew off the table and down the street, you gradually change how you put on shoes to something that works with a belly in the way. You adjust your expectations for how long it takes to walk somewhere. And so on.

Second, the hassles of size are also kind of hot, at least for me. If I do get out of breath from putting on shoes (because belly in the way doesn't allow for much breathing) or have trouble sliding behind some shelves in the basement or find that the largest size in a store doesn't fit me, it is of course a bit annoying, but at the same time it is also kind of hot. I mean, I want to be fat, so evidence that I'm fat is good, having 'fat experiences' is part of what I wanted in some ways.

And third there is sort of a displacement of a lot of activities. I don't play soccer, but I take plenty of bike rides. I may not go on a recreational hike up steep trails ending at a great view, but I take walks through the city ending up at a great bakery. And so on, there are plenty of things to do in life, and just because some things that I enjoyed in the past wouldn't go so well now doesn't meant that there is nothing to do!

I'm not saying that carrying around the extra pounds and inches never bothers me. Hot weather is harder to take, there are times I'd kind of like to water skiing on one ski again, etc. But at the size I'm at, 24/7 life is pretty darn comfortable.

He may not have a fetish, but it does sound as if he'd be, at the least, more comfortable with both of you a bit softer.

As you explore his feelings around the topic (and your own), do remember that there is a lot of variation in what people like and what turns them on and how extreme they like and all of that. (i.e. not all feedees are the same, not all feeders are the same, not all FA are feeders, not all people who like their softer body are feedees, etc)

So even if you share certain preferences, there will likely be areas where your preferences don't overlap (but it sounds like there should be spots where they will)

Also you were tired. Being out of shape and fatter probably had you more drained than you had realized, at which point you are clumsier, your reactions are slower, etc. Something to think about in the future, be a bit extra careful any time you've had to exert yourself for a while.

Maybe you can channel some of this in a different direction? Do you have any other kinks? Does she? Maybe you could find something else that will do, for now?

Not-a-woman, but a couple of thoughts anyway.

First, this is a pretty odd site, as I'm sure you know. If you are just looking to get comfortable in your larger skin and don't really feel fat as part of your sexuality there are a lot of other sites around the web where you will likely find more women (the reddit sub PlusSize is pretty good for that sort of support, for example).

Second, try focusing on the present, not the decisions that brought you here or what you should do in the future. Regularly look at your body (or feel your body), and remind yourself "This is what it is, right now." Just practice taking the judgement out of it, or thinking about what you or anyone else thinks you should look like. This is your body right now, love it as it is because it is the only body you've got!

Third, get used to giving yourself compliments. If you have to start with how cute your ears are, that is fine. But every day try to compliment your body in some way, and when you can in some new way. Some people like to do this naked in front of the mirror, but I think it doesn't really matter, so long as you do it.

And finally, use your body! Dance around the kitchen, dig a garden, go swimming. You have a perfectly good body that will enjoy doing things, and that enjoyment makes it easier to appreciate it

Good luck!

It seems to me like pregnancy could be a convenient excuse for cutting through some of the uncertainty? Say something like "Maybe it is just the hormones going through me right now, but I'm just so turned on by the thought of feeding you until you are stuffed. Nurturing turned sexual? I don't know, I just know I'd like to try it. While, you know, it is just the two of us." So you give both of you an excuse for trying it (it is a just a phase! maybe), and for not putting it off too long. And then if it goes over well, it doesn't have to be just a phase

Sounds like you are doing it right, then