[quote]Battybattybattybat:
The setting and the characters are really charming. I LOVED the descriptions from the get go, her hair as a “plump bouquet of juicy curls” especially jumped out at me. It’s so vivid and sensory.[/quBTW.
Thanks for pointing the specifics out. I often feel like I stray from vivid descriptions, maybe out of laziness sometimes, so I'm glad I can pull something worthwhile out once in a while. I think wanting to clearly show the characters unique features was a good push for me. Thanks again 😁!
2 months
Bcain:
Really fun little meet cute premise with great characters. Love her slow realization of what exactly has her so fixated on this curious customer. Also love that it’s a mixed race relationship as I myself am in one and there really is not a lot of representation in stories around here. Great work and thanks for sharing for the story of the month. I’m glad it’s still going into the new year.
Thanks for reading. And so glad to bring representation for fellow interracial couples. Your picture is great too btw.
2 months
Letters And Numbers:
Ok, so I bought a cookie at Crumbl this week and it was $6 after tip. This kid was loaded or he went broke buying cookies. It was pretty good though.
The thing that I love the best about this story is how much character development there is in just two chapters. The interactions between Janessa and her coworkers are very targeted and effective at painting the picture, the love interests shared high school background is great and is very relatable, so it helps to short cut the reader to a place where it feels like we just know who these people are. It’s hard to do in a couple chapters, but really well done here.
On a technical level, the prose is great. Sweeping up for dialogue tags (the ‘he said’, ‘she replied’s’ alongside quotes dialogue, for folks out there who don’t know what I mean) is all the rage now, so cutting a few of those where the speaker is clear might punch up the dialogue, but they’re something I lean on a lot, too, I said.
Very lovely and well done, thank you again for sharing.
(Anyone who would like to get in for March, please reach out to me! If there’s no takers, maybe we’ll do a different style of event for the month)
Thanks for the tip. I really do use a lot of dialogue, because it's my favorite part of characters. I will be keeping an eye on maintaining the balance with dialogue tags. Similar to what Bcain said, I so want to be sure clarity is there for readers. Sometimes in stories I read I find myself having to go back to verify who said what, which takes you out a moment.
And as for the cookies, I couldn't imagine ever just picking one! I'm always getting the six pack (I'm secretly all the characters) out of fear of missing out or buyers remorse. But in all my stories, the money is made up, 100%. Maybe a story with a realistic budget would be a fun excersize, but in this economy it might just be too real lol.
2 months
It's really the "why" in the question for me. Lol. Because you want to feel dat weight crushing you. When we 69 I love to be squashed while he is on top. But sometimes he'll just playfully put his weight on topp of me or I'll call him over and start pulling his arms from under him to make him.
But belly specifically, sometimes, a lot, I push my face into it and he'll kinda roll over and be squashing me that way, even actively choke playing by pushing my head into his belly.
If you got it, flaunt it. Blessed to have the only vip ticket.
2 months
I have also held back my fan fiction pieces out of audience concern. I'm not sure how well a Total Drama Island, Recess, or Glee piece would be received here, even if all weight gain/feeder based. But I guess there wouldn't be harm in seeing what would happen. I think also, the search filter would make it hard to even find pieces like that. Maybe there should be a fan fiction tag added?
2 months
Stockylove:
I read all your answers and they are actually pretty cool and funny.
Assuming you meant me only bc my notification said so...but if yea, cool. Thanks a lot! I try to just be myself and, admittedly, funny. If you did not mean me, I still stand by it. 😜
3 months
Fat guys are always doing weird stuff in front of me to be funny. I'm always frozen in my tracks when someone just talks about how fat they are, how much they weigh (especially when it's a lot), jiggling their belly, or flat out lifting their shirts up. Especially my man and his BFF. Two funny fat guys can be a lot.
3 months
Love the transformation of just low key encouraging him to outright setting gaining goal. Maybe the character lives up to the author's name. Ace is such an agreeable and adorable gainer. Always love this one. Great to read again.
3 months
I think the figurative language is great in this piece, aside from the too vivid ice spider part. I love all the references to the clear inspiration.
I am sure the magic stuff really comes to light in the rest, but I am left wondering about it. Are they communicating with gohsts, or legit witches? The crumbs were getting laid for sure.
I was a bit unconvinced on how they could be so large and yet also not that measurably large in their clothing sizes and weight. But I might have been imposing my own imagery onto the characters. Fat brain level 1000 sometimes.
Thanks for the free sample for the spooky time and organizing everything.
6 months
I didn't know it then, but when I did, it really explained why "The Very Hungry Catipillar" was so fascinating to me as a kid. Wasn't until I found Dimensions that I was like ok, "its the results AND the process". All I can say is I'm ever so thankful there are all of the users here around the world validating the fact I ain't just make it up in my head.
6 months
