Sorry you're tired of it, but I think you're both at fault; her for not saying up front she needs financing and you for not saying up front that you don't do that.

Here we go...hey, it's only $60,000!

www.royalcaribbean.com/ultimate-world-cruise/

I very strongly believe people can think whatever they wish. They can't DO whatever they wish, but as long as you keep it in your own skull, think what you will. Anyway, we have limited ability to control what we think. I don't know about you, but I have all sorts of awful thoughts that come unbidden. But I keep them to myself and don't act on them.



Psychologists might make fine distinctions between them, but I think they're pretty much culturally defined.



Civility.

You've lost me. A little help?

Of course. I was being facetious.

Best thing is to lay off alcohol.

I know, let's put everyone in burkas so we can't fantasize about them even if we want to!

I'd be very surprised if there is even one person on the planet over the age of 6 who doesn't have thoughts some others would find creepy if they knew about them.

I'm not dogmatic about any of this. Most of my advice on my old site was the best I could come up with 16 years ago.

Back then, there was very little info on feedism and most of that was really bad. (Many didn't even believe female feedists existed--they thought there were only predatory male feeders and their victims. At the same time, some feeders WERE predatory (still are!). And some feedists attacked me for even suggesting that such feeders existed or that there could ever be any downsides to feedism.)

I'd be astonished if no progress had been made since then.

My site was a strange animal. I originally meant it to be entertainment, but then I started getting some serious emails from people struggling with challenges related to feedism. I tried to step up my game and give them good advice. I believe I did pretty well, but of course it wasn't always perfect. Whose advice is? Anyway, I got a lot of positive feedback about the advice I did give.

As I said there was very little information back then. For awhile there I was getting more email than I could answer!

But after awhile I was not the only game in town, and people could get much broader advice and personal stories than I could ever provide. So I was happy to retire the site and let others take over. Occasionally I stick my oar in to current conversations, but even these days I am not necessarily right, and even my better advice does not apply to everyone.

But even these days there is almost no hard data on feedism and we're all largely shooting in the dark. And there's still a lot of bad advice out there. For example, I talked to one woman a couple of years ago who want to gain but all the people she talked with were so full of crap she couldn't figure out what to believe. I was able to help her, and she's still grateful.

Feel free to challenge anything I've written. Honest discussion on these points is the only way forward. I'd rather you didn't trash me personally, but go ahead if you must.

Again, I never said it should be the only basis for a friendship. I don't appreciate this straw-man stuff.