Feedee regret

Munchies:
I see a lot of posts on this site lamenting female feedees and gainers that don't have a fat kink. I am curious to know your thoughts on male feeders that don't have a fat fetish, but are looking for vulnerable women.


They are worse than human garbage, bordering on being truly evil. There are obligate predators, people like serial killers that are driven to do evil, but in the same way that I'm driven to eat chocolate or maybe someone with tourettes is driven to tick. As a society, we need to remove them, but their "evil" is overblown.

Then there are facultative predators and opportunists, people that do evil because they think it's fun and their bored or because it is moderately easier than something else (or, tbf, because they had it modelled for them by other people in their lives, friends, parents, etc.). People that intentionally cause pain and damage and are not "unwillingly" evil. Those people are truly among the worst humanity has to offer, imho, and I'd say the group you describe falls in that category.
2 weeks

Is anyone else tired of this?

Hydrogen:
“Oh sorry I don’t do that…" And she’s gone.”

AskDrFeeder:
Sorry you're tired of it, but I think you're both at fault; her for not saying up front she needs financing and you for not saying up front that you don't do that.

Nok:
Are you suggesting that in this day and age, it may be necessary to say up front on social profiles that you aren't interested in giving money to strangers on the internet, that you're actually seeking a genuine connection and not a financial transaction?

I am not disagreeing, I've just never thought of that.

In fact, though it seems burdensome and dystopian... it may not be a bad idea, in some form.

Letters And Numbers:
I think it’s pretty common advice for people dating online to be extremely up front with people before you get into things. Like if you’re looking for a partner for marriage and children, etc, say that early and often. You might rule out people who are looking for something different and avoid wasting both of your time.

So yeah, maybe that’s dystopian, but that’s where we are.

This is a tricky site because it’s a little bit of everything. If it was just a porn site, you would expect that most people would be buying or selling. If it was just a dating site you wouldn’t expect people to be just looking for friends or just be looking for free porn or erotica. But it’s all of that and it doesn’t do some of it well. So yeah, I think being upfront is important.


Good point
1 month

Is anyone else tired of this?

Also, there's a good point touched on here, which is that the flipside to people asking others for money in exchange for content, is people asking for content in exchange for money, or, more often and somewhat ruder, asking for content for free, and then being abusive when it isn't taken well.

Just in terms of rounding out the discussion.
1 month

Is anyone else tired of this?

LoraDayton:
I'm tired of men coming here and blatantly complaining about their own lack of deduction and social skills. Gee, must suck to be poor.

Sure can't imagine what it would be like to be viewed only as an object, spoken to with outright derision, expected to be *grateful* for the "Attraction" of people who are so ashamed of their attraction that they won't show themselves while *also* expecting a "connection," constantly harassed, ignored, fetishized without consent, and also harangued for *more* content, and sometimes even threatened for not providing said validation/content/companionship, while also making substantially less on average than most people who come here with cake/food/fat art as a pfp and dare complain about someone... suggesting that if you *want* more of the content, that they too may need to be compensated for it.

So, nah.


I'm not entirely sure what you're saying, but I think I agree with you. I mean, the point about claiming to seek connection on a fetish forum while hiding your face out of "shame"... isn't easily discarded. I mean, reality is that society would frown on you whether you're personally ashamed or not, so hiding may just be prudent. But still, the spirit of your assertion seems very valid. If you cater to reality in hiding your face, you should accept the reality that people will do whatever they need to to make money, including intentions-catfishing. It's just just business in that way, they're not scamming, they're advertising and building report with potential customers.
1 month

Is anyone else tired of this?

Hydrogen:
“Oh sorry I don’t do that…" And she’s gone.”

AskDrFeeder:
Sorry you're tired of it, but I think you're both at fault; her for not saying up front she needs financing and you for not saying up front that you don't do that.


Are you suggesting that in this day and age, it may be necessary to say up front on social profiles that you aren't interested in giving money to strangers on the internet, that you're actually seeking a genuine connection and not a financial transaction?

I am not disagreeing, I've just never thought of that.

In fact, though it seems burdensome and dystopian... it may not be a bad idea, in some form.
1 month

Sighting: see evidence of wg that is a turn-on

Morbidly A Beast:


I am going to try and reply seriously here, despite the manner in which you are speaking coming across as trolling and vitriol.

There seems to be a lot of conflation occurring here, as there are actually several topics being discussed synonymously, erroneously.

Afai can tell, most revolve around consent:

Is consent necessary for you to have a sexual thought about a person or notice them in a sexual way?

Is consent necessary for you to choose to spend voluntary time thinking about someone?

Is consent necessary to discuss someone in a fetishistic forum without identifying information?

Is consent necessary to engage with someone in a fetishistic way?

Is consent necessary to post pictures of someone up online without their consent, fetishistic or not?

Along which of these does society gain the most benefit in regulating, which are most feasible, etc.?

Perhaps if we all focus on these questions as separate, rather than one mountain worth dying on, more common ground may be found, with less anger and rancor.
1 month

Sighting: see evidence of wg that is a turn-on


Morbidly A Beast:
fucking sick freaks.


That's absolutely unacceptable. Why are you here? Why would you post something like that? Are you incapable of thinking before you speak? You must understand, behavior like this colors everything you will ever comment again - it makes it impossible to take you seriously, to see you as anything other than a fool or a troll. Please learn to act like an adult if you want to participate in civil adult discussions.
1 month

Sighting: see evidence of wg that is a turn-on


Munchies:
There's nothing wrong with having sexual fantasies - even if they are unusual ones. But like ... consent is sexy. And if you don't have their consent, then maybe don't sexualize them.

Greentrees8733:
Totally understandable that the experience you described would feel violating.

I’m just not convinced fantasizing about others constitutes a violation of consent. I’m willing to be convinced otherwise, but here’s my take, featuring good ol’ Alice and Bob:

Alice’s thoughts about Bob are not actually Bob. Bob himself isn’t actually involved in Alice’s private thoughts about Bob, so there’s nothing for him to consent to (or not). Alice’s thoughts (about anything) are part of Alice. As an autonomous person, I would think Alice is the only one with any say over her own private thoughts.

Put another way, I don’t think fantasizing about guys as a teenager makes you “guilty” of anything. I just don’t see how private thoughts have any moral weight. Like, what harm did you do, or risk doing?

Sharing them is different, though. Sharing impacts others, so their consent is relevant. But that’s kind of OT for this reply.

---

Side note: OP does say “I couldn’t keep my eyes off her” which (given the voyeuristic style of the post) kinda sounds like an inappropriate/potentially violating amount of staring, but that’s a separate issue from fantasizing being a violation of consent.

Munchies:
As a man thinks, so does he do.

I'm not saying fantasizing about people means you're going to actually do the thing. But it does color what you do in reality. The extent depends on what you conciously check yourself on, but it's never 100%.

Like, if a woman's boss fantasizes about her sexually, or a woman fantasizes about her best friend's husband, can we say it's not going to color their interactions with the object of their desire?

Remember, the issue isn't the kinks so much as the object of your desires.

Letters And Numbers:
That's like Puritan level thought policing.


I don't think that's what she meant (Munchies, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.)

At least, the way I read it is not that it's immoral, so much as potentially damaging to your behavior with people. Like, fantasizing about someone doesn't make you a bad person, but it's good to remember that it can and likely will color your interactions with that person (or generic group of people). The mind is recursive - what you think affects how you think.
2 months

Social stigma and friends

Times change, tastes change, culture changes.

That said, I really valued OPs writing in the space, from back when he was TR, I believe. His work, especially for the time, was compassionate and open-minded.

On this site, I have seen nothing from him to change my opinion. He is open to dialogue, and when he misspeaks, he acknowledges it.

It disappoints me how intense this site has gotten when it comes to rancor. People with anger issues would, I think, be better served by therapy, rather than wasting their time publicly thought-policing every trivial discussion. I realize some people actually get off on this behavior, but that's really even worse, like masturbating on a city bus. Self-awareness is a great thing.

Acknowledging and disavowing terrible behavior that damages the space is laudable. Calling out microaggressions is often laudable. But after your target has stepped back, step off. Try to be aware of yourself and others. And if you're doing it just to get your kicks, or if you cause a fight to continue after it's over just because of your own compulsions and lack of self-control, your need to rub in your pathos to try and kindle battle, it really ruins the good you are ostensibly trying to do.
2 months

Your fantasy, my pen: let's craft your dream story!

Stevita:
Unpopular take, but the plagiarism aspect isn't even what turns me off about AI writing; it's the sanitization. Human authors plagiarize off each other all the time; it's Marvel and DC's favorite thing to do. But Human authors have their own quirks; I like to think people are like, "There goes stevita again thinking 'semidarkness' is a word, and whoopdidoo, one of her characters ate out someone'a bellybutton" whether that's a good or a bad thing. AI just doesn't know how to do the kinky dirty fun stuff, you know? And reading a million self-affirmation journeys written by a robot gets hella boring.

That said, I use AI foe my covers, but the covers aren't what you're supposed to pay attention to, and I'd commission art if I could afford it.


good point
2 months
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