chapter 3

“Why can’t it be me?” He said holding me tighter, sounding every bit as broken as I felt.
“I saw what you did a few weeks ago” I said quietly as if someone might hear.
“What did I do?”
“You” I paused tearing up for what must have been the billionth time since this conversation started. “You shot a man… dead… on the floor!” I said whispering loudly as if it had shocked me all over again.
“Oh”
“I knew what I was getting into when I married you, and I know that you never found out about my childhood but I never thought you would ever do anything like that!”
“I don’t know what to say Ava. He was coming to the house to take you as hostage because of a deal that had gone wrong. I just wanted to protect you. Ive always tried to protect you from everything that goes on in this horrible business I built. I never wanted this I wanted much the same as you when I was a kid, to find a girl I could take care of and protect I never meant to get into this, it just sort of fell on my head like it chose me. I was 14 when this scary looking guy handed me some money and told me to take this package across the street to the guy standing at the other side of the road. I didnt even know what the package was. I did it several times a week. Every week till I was about 18 when he started getting me to do more and more across town and then I started sourcing the drugs and then I just kept working up and up till I was at the top. I never wanted it but it was easy money and I thought If I kept at it I can give myself and the girl I wanted to find a secure easy life where we never have to worry about anything we can spoil our children easily and not have to worry about how were going to fill the cupboards this week or anything.”
“It’s a nice idea but I would never bring a child into our world, if a guy thinks he can come and take me as hostage it’ll just give them more leverage if you have a child too.”
“Ill stop”
“What do you mean stop your at the top you cant just leave it”
“No your right I cant but I can hand it over to someone else. We have enough money to never have to work another day in our lived. Pick a place Ava, anywhere in the world we’ll go”
“I don’t know Ryder”
“Please Ava try me I know life for us as a couple has never been anything close to normal but let me show you how much I want this. Please let me show you.”
“And what if it doesn’t work?”
“It will I promise” he kissed the top of my head.