chapter 2

July 4th-211lbs-37lb gained

That was so weird. My friends Mark and Kate had a 4th get together that I went to, it was nice to see other people again. My social skills are pretty rusty, it’s so hard to talk to people. Not to mention an added layer of awkwardness: I’ve put on a bit more weight. I don't know how much, but I can definitely feel it, a thing layer of fat coating my body. On the way down, a few bumps on the highway sent a small shockwave through my torso, I could feel my body shake up to my small man boobs. My clothes are sticking to me more and more these days, my pants getting tighter in the thighs and hips, even more than last month. The jeans I struggled to button now don’t fit, walking around at the party is somewhat ashamedly the most exercise I’d gotten in months. My legs actually where aching by the end of it. Wearing buttoned pants for the first time in months, it felt so constricting. Not to mention Bonnies sly comment when I first arrived, a friend had come who had put on a modest amount of weight, less than me for sure. Turning to me, Kate gestured at my body , her eyes scanning up and down, “ Look, We’ve all put on some quarantine weight, don’t worry about it!”. My face grew red hot as I realized what was happening but I just laughed it off,
Ugh, I hate feeling uncomfortable like this. I resolved that after this, I’d be returning to some kind of fitness schedule. As the night wore on, we got increasingly debaucherous, drinking more and more and as it came time to leave I knew I needed food on my journey home. All I could think about was a pile of greasy fast food to binge on. I’d been used to this schedule for the past couple weeks, gorging in the middle of the night.
This felt all too familiar, a ritual i loved. Drunkenly eating my bag of greasy mexican food, I looked at my tight clothes and touched myself. Alone in my car, gorging on fast food, knowing I was ruining my body. I couldn’t help but be turned on. Away from the party,all the awkwardness surrounding mynew weight became a turn on. Kate’s comment whirring through my head. “Put on a little weight”. Pulling my shirt up, I looked at the exposed soft flesh,a role hanging over my tight waistband.Squeezing it’s jiggling softness with my hands.
As I touched myself I imagined how big I could get if this kept up, imaging the fat of my stomach filling my hands. opening my eyes I peaked a woman with huge tits and a massive ass standing next to her ripped boyfriend. Watching her body jiggle and strain against her clothes as she drunkenly wobbled around.
She would never date a flabby boy like me. Staring at her voluptuous body then at her ripped boyfriend.
Immediately feeling shame about what I was doing, the food already gone, I drove away and told myself id start tomorrow.