The Fattest Cookbook

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

As I walked into Brew-Time, our favorite coffee shop, I could see Judy across the room. Her face was red. Her makeup was streaked. It was obvious we were facing some sort of crisis... Again.
Fearful of saying the wrong thing, I smiled as I sat and waited. She wasn't making eye contact. She sniffled a little and continued to stare at the wall. I ordered my coffee and continued to wait.
“He dumped me,” Judy finally blurted out.
“What?”
“Ah, huh. Tony says he wants to be free this summer and he wants to explore new things in college next year. Meet new people.”
And,” she continued as her voice began to crack, “Date new people.”
“And after everything I've done...” her voice drifted off and she began to quietly sob.
She began to dig through her purse for another tissue, but couldn't find one and used her napkin. After a large blow, we sat in silence as she worked to compose herself.
Then Judy began to speak again, “All through high school... All last year... We did everything together and now... Why? I just don't understand it. He wouldn't let me eat. He wanted me to stay skinny and so... I starved,” her voice began to raise like a Valley girl, “You know? He wanted to go to State (college) and so, I followed him. Despite acing my acceptance to Valparaiso. And now... And now...”
She began to sob again.
“He's transferring to Purdue. And... And... After all I've done... I... I just don't understand,” she continued between sniffles.
I wanted to tell her that the guy was a bum... No strike that... A PIG! Yes, a real... P... I... G...
I'd seen it for years.
But at this moment, there wasn't a thing I could say that might help. So, I placed my hand over hers and gave a gentle squeeze. I sat in silence as another tear wound it's way down Judy's cheek. Then she took my napkin and had another blow.
I swear. My Judy is the most crying person I know. And when she blows her nose, it's similar to one of those cartoon characters on TV. It's like a fog horn or something.

But, my dearest friend has one of those photogenic super-model faces.
You know?
It's so perfect that cameras just love her. Well, almost. When she's upset like now, her large brown eyes and her high cheek bones, the entire shape of her face, can give her a silly bimbo-clown kinda look. And when she's been crying and her face turns red, I swear I could put one of those big red noses on her and she'd look so damn silly. Sometimes when she's upset, it's all I can do to keep myself from laughing.
But backing away from that, I've seen conversations stop when she enters a room. Her smile can light up a camera the way only a New York model can do. And she has that long legged graceful figure of a New York model and because she's so thin, that starved model look. I don't think she knows how truly spectacular she is.
Yet, there's an innocence to her, a vulnerability that people like Tony-the-bum can always take advantage of.
And make no mistake, Judy is my best friend and I love her like a sister.
As far as Tony, he was an overbearing snob. I never liked him. I tried to be friendly for Judy's sake. But twice, he rewarded me by hitting up on me. I never told Judy. Maybe I should have. I guess the writing was on the wall.
So Mister 'Bad-Rubbish,' I can honestly say, 'Good-Riddance.'
“I guess, I can join you at your cabin this summer,” she tried to say as she began to snivel again, “That is, if you still want me.”
Once more, the faucets opened up as she desperately tried to find another napkin with no success. Finally, I rescued a napkin from an adjoining table and again, was rewarded by a fog horn from the most beautiful woman I'd probably ever know.
I swear, her sinuses could save a passing ship from floundering on the rocks.
So, it was decided. We were going north for the summer.
My parents have a small cabin in the north end of the State. But, they were planning a camping trip across the country, Niagara Falls, and the Grand Canyon and all that kinda stuff which meant the cabin would sit vacant.
Our plans were made.
But I could never have expected how events would change.



Note: A new chapter will be posted within two days and every day or two thereafter until it is concluded.
That is my promise.
I hope you enjoy.
JM