Chapter 4: Sabotaged!(1)

Ashley woke up still feeling heavy from last night’s meal. She saw Porsha was already up and making breakfast again as the smell made her belly growled on queue.
“You really need to stop this” Ash said talking to her own stomach. Ashley managed to control herself for breakfast at least as Porsha put the leftovers in the fridge.
“Just don’t starve yourself, it isn’t healthy to do that” Porsha cautioned as Ashley nodded, she already knew that. After a quick shower and change into her uniform Ashley was ready to set off as she put the Gyms address in her jacket pocket. She had packed a set of gym shorts and a shirt in a bag she was taking to work with her. She was going to check out the gym after work. Ash greeted everyone as Mrs Addams smiled and Florence was with her again today. This did put Ash at ease again as she headed to the staff room to put her things away.


Ash then joined Florence at the counter ready to serve the customers as Porsha went back to the kitchen to begin making the food for the day. Ash was doing well for her second day,
“You’re doing well, you’re a fast leaner huh” she smiled as Ash nodded.
“Thanks, I mean it has been fairly quiet and not so busy yet” Ash said, the lunch rush was the worst. The hours felt slow as Ash took her break and then returned to work as she was on kitchen duty for the afternoon shift as Mrs Addams wanted her to get experience on both fronts. Porsha swapped to register duty as Mrs Addams was working in the back with Ash and two other people. One was a woman who looked around her late thirties and also rather plump, along with a man who looked around the same age as the woman, only he was tall, lanky and skinny. He was making the fries and burgers and the woman was making the milkshakes and drinks up as Mrs Addams was baking the desserts that needed to be baked.


Mrs Addams slowly introduced them as they went along. The man Frank was nice but quiet. Ginger the woman was extroverted but funny and very welcoming. After another afternoon shift was done Ash was sweating. Ash wiped her brow as Mrs Addams came up to her with a plate of cookies,
“You’re done for the day dear, here you look like you could do with one of these” Mrs Addams offered a cookie.
“Sorry Mrs Addams I’m starting my diet today so I’ll pass” Ash said as Mrs Addams nodded with a gentle smile and waddled away. Ash looked up at the time, as Porsha came in,
“Ready to go home Ash?” Porsha asked,
“You go on ahead, I’ll be home a little late tonight” Ash replied as Porsha looked a little disappointed but nodded and left ahead of her.
“Just don’t push yourself” Porsha said as she left as Ash grabbed her jacket and bag and then left.


Ash found the place alright. As she walked passed a burger place on the way that made her belly growl in protest but she did her best to ignore it,
“I am losing you if it’s the last thing I do” she told herself stepping into the gym reception. A man was sat behind the desk that looked fairly fit himself. He looked up and beamed up at her,
“Welcome may I help you miss?” he asked,
“Yes I was wondering if I could join up” Ash said as the man nodded and went to get the form. He soon returned and asked her to fill out the form; name, address, place of work etc. She handed the completed form back to the man as he smiled after looking through it,
“That’s all in order Miss Davison” the man said as he handed over her membership card to her.
“Is it all right if I start tonight?” she asked,
“By all means we are open till 9” the man replied.


She soon found the woman’s locker room and changed into her gym clothes. They looked small on her as they were from her thinner days but they would work for now. Ashley walked in and saw she was the only one there at the moment as she immediately began on the basics, the treadmill. She started slow as she ran at a light jog and ignored her belly still as she spent the first hour jogging and she was already sweating and panting by the end. She used to be able to do a full two hours before she even broke a sweat, and even then it wasn’t like this. She felt tired and like she had no energy as she felt a stitch in her side even. But she was going to solider on. She took a small water break as she then looked towards the Air Walker and began another round. By the time she left at half past 8 she was starving. She rushed by the food places as her belly growled and she even had a few hunger pains now and then. She was determined to have a small meal at home as to not undo her workout.


By the time she got home Porsha was in bed but had left a meal on the table, a very large one at that wrapped in cling film. Ash knew it would be bad to eat right now as she ignored it and headed to the fridge to see if they had anything to make a salad but she felt too tired to make anything. Her belly gave a very painful growl now as she just needed to eat for now. Her eyes returning to the meal Porsha had made,
“I’ll be fine if I only eat what I need and no more” she told herself. It was useless, the taste was good and her body melted and relaxed at the taste as her belly was very happy. Ashley actually found it pleasurable after her workout and soon saw that nothing was left on the table. She had eaten in all again.
“Uh oh….not again…….Hhhmmmmm” she was full and round again as she felt heavy and managed to lug her body over to the sofa. She curled up on the sofa that night and knew she would have to talk to Porsha about her cooking smaller portions tomorrow morning.


Porsha was already cooking when Ash woke up and was making a large spread again. Ash sighed as she sat down.
“Morning Ash, you want breakfast?” Porsha offered as Ash had to admit it smelt good as her belly growled in longing for it all.
“Morning Porsha, did you have to make so much again?” Ash asked as Porsha blushed and giggled.
“Sorry I just like to cook” Porsha beamed. Ash smiled but made her mind up to eat less from today on. Ash had only a small Portion as she intended before she went to change for work. She still felt hungry as she walked to work with Porsha.
“You didn’t eat enough Ash, you look dead” Porsha said as Ash sighed, Porsha wasn’t wrong but she wasn’t going to slim back down any other way.


Ashley put her jacket in her locker and then clocked in before she joined Porsha at the counter today. Ash got comments at work about how tired she looked as Mrs Addams kept trying to give her treats to try and get her energy up. Ashley tried to resist but when she got to her lunch break her salad didn’t fill her up as she took a few cookies too on top.
“I hope a few wont ruin my diet” Ash said as she sighed but had to admit the slight sugar made her feel better. Another day was done as Ash once again told Porsha to go on ahead and this time told her not to make her dinner, she didn’t want a repeat of last night. Ash once again headed off to the gym as she was greeted by the man again with a grin as she saw there were others there tonight.


She repeated her routine from the night before as she ignored how hungry and tired she was. Ash again was tired; starving and sweating as she left only to find a familiar face there waiting for her,
“Porsha? What are you doing here?” Ash asked as she panted, at that point Ashley’s belly growled loudly and painfully as Porsha sighed,
“Want to get a bite to eat?” Porsha said as Ash went to protest but felt a pain in her belly and nodded.
“What were you doing here anyway?” Ash asked again as Porsha blushed,
“Waiting for you, I knew you’d ignore your stomach and push yourself too far. And I was right” Porsha said as Ashly sighed. Porsha really was a good friend and Ashley felt happy that she cared.


They stopped at the burger place not far from the gym as the smell washed over Ash whose belly responded in kind.
“I Can’t Porsha; I am on a di…….” Her belly growled again as Porsha looked at her and raised an eyebrow. Ashley blushed as she really didn’t want to as they headed in. Ash was starving but only ordered a small burger with salad on the side.
“I know you are on a diet but a burger now and then isn’t going to harm you” Porsha said as Ash sighed but nodded. Their burgers arrived and Ash had to admit the greasy food looked very appetizing. Ash took the first bite and her taste buds exploded, it was the best burger she had tasted. Once Again she soon found it was all gone, having scarfed it down quickly as Porsha giggled,
“I really wished I could stop pigging out but it just all tastes so good” Ash complained.
“They are known as one of the best burger places here” she informed Ash who looked at the menu.


She wanted another one but knew she shouldn’t. Porsha sighed as she had been meaning to ask Ash about her diet,
“Why are you so obsessed with losing weight anyway, you look fine the way you are?” Porsha asked. Ash looked down and thought but only one thing came to her mind, almost automatically.
“It’s….what I’ve always known and done…….I was proud of my fit body…and this ….” Ash stopped. She was about to say her mother would kill her, and Porsha knew this and sighed.
“Can we get a large pounder over here please?” Porsha called as Ash blushed and looked sharply at Porsha.
“Porsha?” Ash gasped as Porsha sighed but ignored her.


The thick and very large burger soon arrived and Ash looked down at it as her belly growled in want but her mind was telling her not to touch it. Ash felt like she had her devil and angel on her shoulder right now, and unfortunately her devil won as she picked up the burger and sank her teeth into it.
“SOOooo Ghhudd” Ash said her mouth full as Porsha gave a satisfied smile and continued eating her own burger. Ashley felt satisfied after as she was fit to burst as she had ordered a second and third one too.
“Better?” Porsha asked as Ash nodded.
“I really need to stop eating like this or I’ll balloon up” Ash said as Porsha tried to giggle but looked guilty with a slight blush to her cheeks. Ashley went straight to bed after that as to not eat anything else as Porsha sighed.
“What am I going to do?” Porsha asked herself. Ash was fast asleep when Porsha finally went to sleep. Ash was dreaming of herself working out in the gym. She had done it she was thin and toned again as Porsha invited her out to celebrate her success.


They went to the burger place and ate with gusto as she saw herself in the dream undo her work and pack not only the weight she had lost back on, but blow up past it. She saw herself balloon up in her dream until she was as big as the 500 pound woman she had barely thought about from her old job.
“That was……huh…what the hell happened to me” Ash panicked as she looked at herself in shock before she saw a tall looming figure over her.
“See you let yourself go, this is why I disowned you piggy girl” her mother hissed as Ash felt like that little girl again who dared not go against her mother’s wishes for her. She turned to Porsha for help but saw she was alone as she saw her mother descend almost bat like on her before Ashley awoke as she jolted upright,
“I really need to get myself sorted out” she told herself. Ashley saw it was 4 in the morning as she had trouble getting back to sleep after that dream, or nightmare as she would describe it. Ashley tried to put it out of her mind as she showered.


However her body as it was now only reminded her of the dream. Porsha woke up about an hour later and saw Ash was on the sofa watching TV,
“Everything okay Ash?” Porsha asked,
“Yeah just…..bad dream” Ash responded with a weak smile. Ash breakfasted lightly again as she got ready for work feeling bad about herself. She was quiet and somewhat distant from Porsha who was mostly having a one sided conversation as Ash just nodded and smiled. She made it through the day as she once again, having not eaten anything other than a salad she bought from a shop next to her work place. She once more made her way to the gym and changed but felt a sudden lack of motivation due to her low energy level right now. She once again did an hour on the treadmill and another hour on the air walk before she once again went out into the cold air. It was the beginning of November as the cold was begging to set in for the winter.


She walked slowly home as she felt utterly drained. She knew it was because her body had gotten so used to larger meals and portions. She remembered well enough about basic diet and nutrition from her college course on fitness and from her old job. But on her way home the smell hit her as she passed by the burger place. Her belly growling at her made her pause as she knew she had to resist and just ignore it. Mind over matter as the saying went.
“Two large Pounders please” Ash said as she felt disappointed in herself. Why couldn’t she stop? Why was it so hard to go back to her old diet?
When she got home she saw Porsha was in bed again before she saw freshly baked brownies on the table with a note.
“In case you didn’t eat after your workout-Porsha”
Ashley sighed, brownies were her favourite and they smelt good too as she had that devil on her shoulder again.


Ashley sat there disappointed in herself. She had scarfed down two fatty burgers and the whole plate of brownies in a single evening. She knew Porsha was only trying to be supportive in her own way and she was the one who couldn’t stop eating. She needed to talk to someone and she wondered if there was anyone she could talk too about this. She ended up texting someone she thought she never would again when she text her mother. She knew it was probably pointless given her Mothers last voice mail. She was surprised to get a reply after around 5 minutes.
“Don’t contact me again; I never want to see you again after what you did. I forgot to delete this number, after this I will do. And block it for good measure. I’m still trying to smooth things over and get over the embarrassment you caused me and my reputation” Ashley sighed, what else was she expecting from her mother? Still only caring about her own reputation. She clearly didn’t have time for her daughter now she was deemed as the family embarrassment.


November continued to get colder as Ashley tried to keep to her new routine. Porsha had begun to make Ash lunch to make sure she ate something filling at least as well leaving treats for her after her workouts and Ashley couldn’t seem to stop herself pigging out. Ashley had more dreams and nightmares, and as a result Ashley’s continued stop at the burger place after her workout as it seemed to be a comfort at this point. Even her workouts were affected as she began to do less and go home earlier week by week. It didn’t help that Mrs Addams had started putting cookies in the staff room in the build up to Christmas and Ashley snacked on them a lot too. She had become hooked as she swore her skirt was tighter than it used to be.


Finally in December she found her skirt didn’t fit as Porsha assured her it had probably shrunk as hers didn’t fit either as Porsha went got her a new one.
“Thanks Porsha” Ash said as Porsha looked at the bag for the skirt and the sighed,
“I really need to stop….but she’s just so……” Porsha told herself. As the first week of December ended Ashley knew something wasn’t right. She noticed a definite change in herself and swore she looked bigger than before. Ash finally had the day off as Porsha was working. She was looking in the mirror after her shower. She knew it wasn’t in her head, She was bigger she could tell. She put a hand on her rounder middle as she stepped on the scale wanting to know the damage.
“Don’t let me have gained too much please tell me it’s not too bad” Ash pleaded. She heard the beep and looked down and gasped her hands flying to her mouth.


“193 pounds” Ash whispered under her breath, she stood there in disbelief as she had gained 28 pounds since starting her new job. It was no wonder her clothing was getting tighter, even her work uniform….wait she thought at how this had happened. Aside from the fact she was clearly addicted to junk food, she should not have gained this much right? Ashley kept looking in the mirror as she looked at all her pudgier features, even her face looked rounder. Ash felt like crying, she just couldn’t stop eating and Porsha was no doubt going to cook a large meal again. Porsha did love her food, Introducing Ashley to the burger place, leaving her treats that she pigged out on and making her filling lunches every day. Porsha knew that she had a weakness for food and…….Porsha kept encouraging. Ash saw it now, as she heard the door go.
“Ash you home?” Porsha called. Ash was filled with a mix of emotions from anger to sadness right now. Ash couldn’t help but wonder if Porsha had deliberately sabotaged her weight loss attempts.


Ash felt betrayed as Porsha had ignored Ash’s wishes and done the opposite. She needed to know if her theory was true first and it wasn’t just her overthinking and Porsha having done this on accident. She changed back into her tight pair of sweatpants and a Tank top before she left the bathroom and saw Porsha was sat on the sofa.
“Ah there you are, is everything okay Ash?” Porsha asked as she could see Ash was upset.
Ash paused before she spoke,
“I put on weight, despite trying to lose weight with diet and exercise. I put on 28 pounds” Ash said, Porsha remained quiet whilst Ash continued. “The Burger place, the cakes, the sweets, the lunches? Porsha please tell me you didn’t make me gain weight by sabotaging me” Ash asked as the room became very tense. Porsha was red in the face and looked guilty before she spoke.
“I tried to stop myself but……I couldn’t…..you were just so cute when you were eating. You looked happier too. More than when you were dieting and exercising over the video calls we did” Porsha said.
“Why would you encourage all of my bad habits? You know I wanted to lose weight” Ash said her voice going slightly shrill.


Porsha sighed as she stood up and walked up to Ashley. She took Ashly into a hug and kissed Ashley on the lips. Ashley stood there in silence as Porsha was now on the verge of tears.
“Sorry Ash, but I….like you this way and wanted to make you see that it wasn’t so bad if you did get fat. I love you, I’ve been in love with you for a while, but I didn’t know how to say it or even how to act on it. I know you want to lose weight to please others as you have done you whole life. Why can’t you see that I’d love you and others would even if you were fat like your friend back home” Porsha explained. Ash stood there taking in every word, she felt like she was watching herself from months ago standing in front of Mary.
“If it were me I would love the person for who they are not their weight” she remembered saying just that to Mary.
Ash had been so blind to it she thought. She didn’t know how she felt; she liked Porsha enough but didn’t know how to respond. It felt like there was more underneath her feelings of anger as Porsha was still looking at her with almost pleading eyes.
“Ash?” Porsha said with a slight pleading tone.