Chapter 43

It wasn’t a nightmare.

I didn’t look at the time but it was probably around noon. My stomach woke me up, I ignored it so I didn’t have to think about food. About Jane. My nap only calmed down the extreme emotions I was experiencing, leaving me empty and numb. Instead of a source of comfort and joy, my body felt like a prison that I locked myself into. I was so excited to make my cage heavier, keeping me dependent and useless. Now I knew that it was all for nothing, there was no goal or point to any of it. I would’ve bound myself to the Earth forever if it’s what she wanted, because I loved her. Apparently the feeling wasn’t mutual.

But that’s the thing, I still love her. I couldn’t cut off the part of me that truly needed her, my heart refused to believe what my head was saying. I desperately searched for anything that would make sense of all this but found nothing. That’s what hurt the most, the confusion and loss of meaning. My entire life revolved around my love for her, I would do anything to make her happy. It’s only natural that I’m devastated knowing she didn’t want the same for me.

My hunger came back with a vengeance. I had grown accustomed to gorging on everything she made for me… what Mommy made for her Rosie… Food had never made me feel so conflicted before, I hated that I wanted her to come back just to feed me. The emotional tension was overwhelming, causing me to cry again. Is this what she wanted? To break me down Stockholm Syndrome style so I would always be her needy little girl? If so it was working. I’m so fucking pathetic…

The heightened emotions made my cravings stronger, fueling my conflict and making me go around a terrible vortex of pain. The worst part… I wanted Mommy to make me feel better. I wished she’d come back and coddle me through food, I just wanted to forget any of this happened. I was paralyzed with the shame of being so fat that I’d rather be fed than actually address my problems. I’d apologize to ‘her’ for acting out just so I could drown my sorrows with calories.

The waterworks went off for a while, I had no idea since I didn’t bother to check. Today was supposed to be great, we were gonna celebrate with cake and ice cream like it was a birthday party for an eight year old. Then, when I was totally filled to the brim with sweets, Jane was going to make me cum over and over again until I couldn’t anymore. Mommy was supposed to reward me for being such a good girl, my punishment would finally be over. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

My body was becoming exhausted from the emotional turmoil, I started to become numb again. I couldn’t help but think that this was all my fault. Not only did this happen because of my outburst, I wouldn’t have been punished for being such a bitch and if I was just patient for the spice then I wouldn’t have acted that way. I was starting to see why she did this, I made her suffer for months. Maybe I deserved a little of my own medicine, except I was blissfully unaware of the truth.

I summoned the strength to reach over and grab my phone, it was much later than I thought. It was almost six, Mamma should be home soon. I was not looking forward to explaining any of this, especially my punishment. We haven’t had a real talk since Jane weighed us together, let alone have any kind of heart to heart. It’ll be awkward but I can’t keep what happened a secret, she’s at least gonna ask where Jane is. I decided to get it over with and texted her, but she gave me a call first. “Mamma?”

“We need to talk when I get home, I’m on the way.”

“Okay… What’s going on?”

“I think you know. I’ll be home soon.” She hung up.

She didn’t sound mad or even disappointed. It was more like a formal meeting than motherly scolding. I was sure her and Jane talked at some point, I assumed they were together. I lumbered my way out of bed and to the closet. It took a minute but I found something to wear, I wasn’t going to be in one of my ‘little’ outfits talking with Mamma. I put on a stretched out white tank top and grey sweatpants, they were the most decent clothes I had. There was no use fixing my hair so I didn’t bother, it’s not like I was going out in public.

I headed out to the living room and waited. Normally my mind would come up with what we were supposed to talk about but I was too mentally spent. Her car pulled into the driveway but I heard only one of the doors close. She walked in alone, looking a little more tired than usual after getting home. I was sitting at the table and she joined me. “So, do you wanna tell me what’s been going on?”

The question threw me off. “I thought you knew?”

“I do, I just want to hear your side of things. You’re my daughter after all.”

I took in a deep breath and sighed away my built-up stress. “Okay. Where should I start?”

“Today’s fine, but if you think there’s more than that feel free to share.”

“Well…” I thought of all the ways I could sugarcoat it but I didn’t see a point. “I’m sure you’ve noticed that Jane and I have been acting differently for the past few months.” She nodded. “I told you I have a… Mommy kink, right?”

She giggled with amusement. “It’s cute.” That comment made me blush. “Sometimes it makes me feel jealous, the way you two act reminds me of us.”

“When I was a little girl?” She affirmed. “Well about that… I did something bad and Jane had to punish me, it helped our relationship a lot actually.”

“What changed?”

I wanted to avoid details but they were crucial to understanding the context. “Since I couldn’t use the spice anymore it became much more difficult to gain, which was important to me. I became obsessed with it, impacting the way I treated Jane. Our time became all about me, ‘my’ needs and what made ‘me’ happy.”

“I can see how that’d be upsetting.”

“I do too, that’s why I agreed to be punished. We agreed that I’d do everything she says, ‘Mommy knows best’ kind of stuff. It’d be all about her and what she wanted, I gave her all the power. It’s everything I could’ve asked for.”

“Then it doesn’t sound like much of a punishment.”

“The thing is… I wasn’t allowed one thing.” She gazed at me with anticipation. “Jane restricted my… orgasms…”

“Oh.” Mamma uttered in surprise. “That must’ve been… challenging.”

“Uh huh, it hasn’t been easy but I was determined to prove to her that I valued her needs.”

“You haven’t cummed in months?” She asked blatantly.

Even though Mamma and I have been closer than most, I still had an instinctual aversion to being so open about sex with her. “No, I’ve been patient.”

“How long was it supposed to last?”

“Until I reached four hundred pounds, gaining for ‘her’ instead of myself.”

“Have you been growing? You seem a little chubbier since the last time I took a look, I love how big and plump my Rosie’s been getting.”

That comment made me feel a mix of embarrassment and arousal. “Thanks Mamma. I have gained a little. I'm one pound away from my target.”

“That’s good!”

“But there’s a catch, Jane hasn’t been honest with me about my ‘diet’. She lied to me about giving me weight gain shakes, I should be a lot heavier by now.”

“Why would she do that?”

“There was a lot of emotion involved so I could be wrong, but she said that she liked punishing me and wanted it to stay that way. I was so hurt and confused.”

“I can imagine.” She looked like she was thinking. “That would explain how distraught she was when I listened to her voicemails.”

“What did she say?”

“I might still have them.” She got out her phone. “Yeah, here you go.”

I took it and saw that Jane called Mamma four times, leaving a message after the first three. I braced myself before playing them in order.

‘Mamma… I fucked up… I did something really really bad and I don’t know what to do… I hurt Rose and I don’t think I can fix it, I need your help… Please call me back, I’ve been walking around town all morning and I’m exhausted.’

‘Mamma, it’s Jane. I feel so guilty and you’re the only person that can help me fix this, I need you to talk to Rose for me. She rightfully hates me so I can’t do it alone, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. I want her to know how sorry I am but I have no idea what to do, anything I can think of wouldn’t be enough.’

‘If I don’t talk to Rose again, I need you to tell her that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my life. I wish I acted like it, I’d do anything to go back and stop myself from being an idiot. I never wanted to hurt her, but she’s right that I didn’t really try not to. I couldn’t even tell you what I was thinking, nothing would excuse what I did. Rose, if you’re hearing this. I’m so sorry.’

I couldn’t help but tear up over hearing her in so much pain. “Where is she?”

“Jane’s waiting in the car, she didn’t want to come in unless you were comfortable with it. Do you want to see her?” I nodded slowly. “Okay.” She texted her then held my arm. “It’s going to be alright sweetheart, these things happen.”

“I don’t remember you and Dad fighting, was it this bad?”

She smiled nostalgically. “It felt that way sometimes, we knew how to really get on each other’s nerves. But we loved each other so it never went too far.”

“But it did for us, we didn’t act like we loved each other.”

“Oh you did, especially when you realized what you did was wrong.”

“I shouldn’t have done it in the first place, I should’ve known better.”

“People are complicated and act in strange ways, more so when they’re hurt. What kind of pain do you think Jane’s been through? I’m sure it’s a lot.”

A part of Jane that I loved was her strength, how she was able to shrug off what life threw at her. But she ‘had’ to be that strong to survive, to go through Hell. “It is. I think it hurts her to not have control, because life wasn’t kind to her.”

“I want you to tell her that you understand why she acted the way she did, she needs to know that you love and trust her. Show her that she’s safe.”

“What about me? I was being selfish and stupid.”

“I doubt she sees it that way, she might understand you more than you do.”

“What do you mean?”

I heard the car door shut. “Wait and see.”

Jane opened the front door hesitantly, like she was gauging if it was okay to come in. She didn’t want to look me in the eyes. “Hey…”

Suddenly I was intimidated to talk to her, but I needed to. “Hi…”

Mamma pulled out a chair. “Have a seat, there’s plenty of room for you.”

Jane cracked a smile. “Between the two of you? I might have to squeeze in.”

I couldn’t help but join her. “What, you wouldn’t want to be trapped by us?”

“Are you threatening me with a good time?” She smirked.

I giggled playfully, the tension melted a little. “Are we gonna make jokes all night or are you sitting with us?”

She sat down, facing me. “How do you want to start?”

My brain short circuited. “I’m not sure…”

“How about you tell her what you told me?” Mamma suggested.

I looked at Jane nervously and took a deep breath. “I wanted to tell you that I think I know why you did it.” She looked curious. “It seems like you’ve never had any real control over your life, and when you got some you didn’t want to lose it.”

“That doesn’t excuse what I did.”

“Let me finish.” I said gently. “I love giving you control, not just for my own pleasure but for yours too. You’ve been through so much and all I want to do is show you that I care about your needs, that I trust you.” I said heartfeltly.

I gestured so that she knew it was her turn. “And I betrayed that trust… You’re so kind and sweet to me and it hurts knowing that I took you for granted…” She wiped a tear. “I hate myself for being so selfish and inconsiderate, I know how much it means for you to grow but I only thought about what I wanted.”

Mamma jumped in briefly. “Rose told me about how she treated you before, she says she was being ‘selfish and stupid’. What are your thoughts?”

Jane took a second to think. “I don’t think you were being stupid.” I was surprised. “I think you were frustrated with how you weren’t gaining, it makes sense that you acted the way you did because you couldn’t reach your goal.”

“But I was being selfish, I treated you like garbage.”

“To me, you were doing what you thought would get things back to the way they should be. It honestly hurt me more to see you in that kind of despair.”

Mamma stepped back in. “It’s hard to tell someone you love how much pain you’re in, because you want them to know that you’re okay so they feel safe. But it’s important that they know when you’re hurt, because they want to help you.”

I looked at Jane. “Did you mean it when you said you wanted me to suffer?”

I saw her heart sink “No… I meant that I wanted you to be challenged. I’d never want to hurt you… I’m so sorry for depriving you of your needs…”

“I forgive you.” She looked shocked and confused. “At first I was in so much pain that I couldn’t get out of bed, my whole world was falling apart. But that gave me a lot of time to think about us and what you mean to mean. Even then, I still deeply loved you and just wanted you back to make me feel better again.”

“But why would you forgive me?”

“Because now I see that you weren’t trying to hurt me, and even if you did it was only to show me how I made you feel when I was depressed. You deserve to be forgiven, especially when you learn from your mistakes.”

“What did you learn Jane?” Mamma asked.

She thought about it. “Giving someone a taste of their own medicine is not a good way to tell someone how they made you feel, it’s petty and can go too far. It can easily hurt them more than they hurt you, because you're not the one in pain.”

“Rosie, do you think she learned her lesson?” I nodded. “What about you?”

“What did I learn?” Mamma affirmed. “I learned that my needs have to be made known or they won’t be met. I learned that even though it’s hard to talk about my problems, it’s better than letting them bottle up and spill out onto others..”

“I learned that an occasional rain-check is never a bad thing. And… that leading people on is wrong… so is lying about things that are important.” Jane said with a guilty embarrassment. “I just wish I could make up for it somehow.”

“With what you put Rose through, I think I know what it should be.” Mamma got up and walked up to Jane. “She told me about her ‘punishment’.”

Jane blushed looking up at her. “Y-yeah?”

She cupped her breasts. “It must have been torture to wait so long for her sweet release. And to add insult to injury, to be misled for all that time.”

“It makes me feel awful…”

Mamma took Jane’s hand and brought it to her belly. “All she wanted was your touch, to show you how big and soft she got for you. She’s still dying to, aren’t you Rosie?”

I had no idea what was happening, but I liked it. “Uh huh…”

She smirked down at Jane. “I think you should know just how needy my baby’s been, to have her touch so close yet so far.” She moaned tantalizingly.

Jane was just as confused and turned on as I was. “What do you have in mind?”

Mamma walked to me and pet my hair. *Giggle* “How about you see just how much you’ve been missing, what my Rosie’s been craving and needing.”

I was a bit lost. “What do you mean?”

She tenderly pressed my head against her midsection. “Let’s just say, Mamma’s been missing you. I want to know how soft and heavy you’ve gotten.”

It clicked. “You want Jane to watch us?”

“Only if you want her to, I’m sure we can come up with something else.”

“Wouldn’t it defeat the purpose? I already forgive her.”

“It’s not about forgiveness, it’s foreplay. You can invite her when you think she’s ready.”

I looked to Jane. “Is that okay?”

She was captivated. “S-sure, it wouldn’t hurt to be teased.”

I was stunned by what was happening. Mamma caught my attention. “Is my Rosie hungry?” I confirmed. “How about some spaghetti? I know you love it.”

“Sounds great, what about Jane?”

Mamma looked amused. “Jane can wait, my baby needs to eat. Right Jane?”

She nodded, mesmerized. “Uh huh…”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re well fed after we’re finished. I’m going to start dinner, how about you two make up? I’m sure you have a lot to say.”

Mom went into the kitchen. “Are you sure you want to do it?”

Jane laid her hand on mine. “I think it’ll be fun. Besides, I’ve wanted to see you and your mom for a while now and I get a front row seat.”

She was more excited than I expected. I don’t blame her, Mamma’s very alluring. “Okay. But no more lessons, I think we’ve both learned plenty.”

“Agreed.” She scooted closer. “I wanted to say sorry though, I don’t know how to apologize better than that. I guess your mom came up with a solution.”

I squeezed her arm affectionately. “Like I said, I forgive you. You don’t have to do this, we can just have good ol’ make-up sex and move on.”

Jane smiled. “Yeah, but she freely offered and I’m not passing that up.”

“Pervert.” I teased.

“Yeah, I am.” She said smugly.

“I wanted to say sorry too, I’m the one who started all of it.”

Jane had a bittersweet look. “Yeah, but I forgave you a while ago. You’ve more than made up for it with how much of a good girl you are.”

She made me blush. “Well you’re a great Mommy, you made it so fun.”

“Yeah? I made dressing you up like an eight year old fun?”

I nodded enthusiastically. “I want to do it more, though maybe not so often.”

“Me too, maybe once a week?” I shrugged. “We’ll figure it out later.”

We held hands. “So you’re okay with me cumming?”

*Chuckle* “You’ve earned it, but I have one request.”

“What is it?”

Jane looked at me with lustful eyes. “Don’t cum until I get involved.”

My heart fluttered with excitement. “I-I can try, but I can’t make promises.”

“Well if you ‘must’, I want you to ask for permission.”

“But what if I can’t help it?”

*Giggle* “I’ve been training you, I think you can handle it.”

“I don’t know… it’ll all be so exciting and I’ll be so sensitive…”

Jane stood up and held my face up. “Mommy believes in you.” She kissed me on the forehead. “And she won’t be disappointed if you have a good time.”

I felt secure, but I still wanted to do what she wanted. “Thank you.”

Her thumbs gently rubbed my cheeks. “Of course, Mommy wants you to be happy.” She looked to the kitchen. “Mamma wants you to be happy too.”

“You both make me feel so loved, I couldn’t ask for better Moms.”

Jane leaned down. “I couldn’t ask for a better little girl.” She descended down so that our lips touched, I grabbed her waist while she held my cheeks.

I don’t know how long we kissed, all I know is that making out evolved into her rubbing and squeezing. The stimulation was incredible, I moaned openly. She lightly straddled me, making sure not to put her whole weight on me so we don’t break the chair. I wanted to fuck right here right now, but I was really hungry. It was weird having my mom so close by but this was bound to happen eventually. As we groped each other and giggled playfully, Mamma came in. “Having fun?”

Jane continued kissing my face and neck while I took a break. “Mmhm. We both needed this, I know I did.” I rejoined her.

“Well dinner’s done, I hope you’ve built up quite an appetite. Mamma misses feeding her Rosie, I made sure you couldn’t resist.” She said ominously.

I didn’t really care to pay attention, Jane had all of mine. She stopped. “I’ll be watching, so I want you to eat every single bite Mamma offers you. Got it?”

*Giggle* “That won’t be too hard, I love Mamma’s cooking.”

She got off. “Then enjoy, Mommy wants you to be nice and full.”

Mamma brought the tall pot. “Oh she will.” She filled my bowl to the brim. “She won’t be able to get enough, I bet she’ll ask me to make more. And I will.”