Chapter 1 - Part 1

The sun hits your face a warm blaze that rouses you out of what had been a nice deep sleep. Coffee, creamer, and the couch call your name as you ease into your day. You unlock your phone and browse instagram. Instantly you are inundated with plus size influencers and models. BBWs baring their bellies for the world to see and showing off their bodies, even some fellow men make it into your feed. No, not today. You were going to be a good boy today and press that down. You swipe out of the app. Its an addiction. Thats all. Just gotta kick it. You took a breath, it's hard to start the day horny.

You go for your run. The weather is a bit colder despite the sunshine. The wind cuts a little deeper today. You breath but can't get into a pace. Your calves cramp up. You stop, the cramps ease. You walk feeling some mild irritation and start back up and only to get a stitch in your side so you stop again. Frustration sets in as your music just doesn't hit right today. You make it back home sweating profusely, sucking wind, and hit the shower.

You look in the mirror. You're well built all in all. Very broad shoulders with a burly thick build. You certainly don't look like someone who runs. You sport a broad fairly muscular hairy chest but the further south you look the softer you got. Beneath your pecs there was no trace of an ab line. Instead a soft layer of fat thickened your midsection and jiggled at your waist just gently poking out. Easy enough to hide if you wore your waistbands high. You noticed more pronounced lovehandles poked out from either side. You tried flexing your abs to see if they could break through but to no avail. Your stomach just wobbled slightly. Your thighs were thick and butt round. A mixture of muscle built while running up hill to your house and the fat from over eating after your runs. Your size medium shirt still fit well, but starting to feel snug. The waistband to the XL shorts were becoming a bit of a problem. You needed to run more often. It was hard though.

Never go grocery shopping hungry. You sat in your car thinking that to yourself as you opened the box of oreos. A weakness of yours and an indulgence you hadn't had in a while. A whole row was gone by the time you made it home. You packed away your groceries and settled in for the evening. Monday tomorrow. Back to work. You pulled out your phone. Hesitating slightly you went back to instagram. The algorithm knew you well. You felt yourself get warm and grow hard as you scrolled. You set your phone down and grabbed your laptop. You log in to all feederism related websites you pretend don't exist. Your lurker accounts that you use to masturbate. You said you'd never even create the account. Then you said you'd stop logging in. Ok maybe just a few times per week. But that became a few times per day.

You find your favorite BBWs that and hungrily devour their content. You're entranced. Bellies bouncing. Buttons popping. Handfuls of fat grabbed and jiggled. You explode in your own hand. Relief hits you. The shame that once hit you, does not.

Monday came and went. Work was work but at least it was from home. Surfing all the feederism sites at the office might have been frowned upon. A video of a new gainer enters your, she's very attractive with her starter belly well established. Stretch marks around the navel indicate to you that she's gained the weight aggressively. She's written a long caption under her photos which, admittedly, is not something you always see in your greedy horny state. It says that she is finally embracing all parts of her and truly being herself. That she finally feels like herself and encourages all others to take the plunge with her. An intrusive thought creeps into your mind. You imagine this girl, fat rolls bulging out of a leather body suit, feeding you endless ice cream and pie. She's practically real now and she's reaching out to touch you. Her hand makes contact, not with your face or your hard hard penis but with your soft belly and you climax in your hand. You sit there throbbing, covered in your own mess, flushed and out of breath.

As the days went by the thought clung on to your mind like a song stuck in your head. Except this song made you grow warm and stiff. You followed the new gainer and every day you went back for more. Friday rolled around and you remembered that you had a date. It felt odd being so entranced that you forgot something like that. You were a good boy and didn't masturbate despite every chemical in your brain telling you to grab the lotion and go to town. You got ready and met her at the cocktail bar in town. She was a friend of friend who did not have high hopes for the outcome of the date. She had warned you that you wouldn't be compatible and that warning had been right.

Emily was nice enough and you had a good conversation about a number of topics at the end of the date you were two very different people. She smiled and said "I don't think either of us are really feeling this but I still had fun and I wish you luck in this awful digital dating world we're stuck in" - "well I hope I wasn't too awful" you quipped and she laughed "no! not at all! of all the bad dates I've been on you're the best!" you both laughed now. You paid, stood up, hugged, and got ready to leave. You waited for her to catch an uber and as she was getting in another intrusive thought invaded your mind. You pictured her, with her long black hair, but with a 40 lb spare tire jiggling at her waist. You pictured her breasts ballooned to the size of melons. You felt yourself get warm as the thought of one of her legs being as thick as both her thighs put together. "See ya!" she said and you snapped out of it and waved.

You took your own uber home. Deep in thought. Unable to shake an urge. You got home and sat at your desk thinking. You log in to the main feederism social media and dating site. You sat wondering. Heart pumping. Adrenaline flowing. Perhaps just for tonight or the weekend. You could delete it just as easy. You got up and stepped on your scale: 191 lbs.

Your heart fluttered a bit, you'd gained 4 or 5 pounds accidentally since you'd last weighed in. A voice in the back of your head said "but it will make a great photo". Your heart pounding you sat back down and pulled off your shirt. As always your waistband was pulled high, above the belly button. You slowly pulled it down noticing a complete loss of support and realized just how much you were relying on that elastic to hold you in. You felt your lovehandles burst out and bulge immediately over the tight elastic. You felt your belly quiver, a small ripple seen around your belly button and you struggled to hold it in. You quickly surrendered and watched as a soft thick spare tire quickly flopped and spilled over the waistband hanging and resting in your lap. You pinched your soft belly but there was far more to be found. You grabbed a handful of belly fat and it squished in your clench. You were hard. So hard. Throbbing. But you weren't done yet.

You let it all hang out, grabbed a handful of soft belly fat, and snapped your first picture. You went back into your computer and went to your profile settings. You can always delete it and go back you said. You filled out your interests. Then it asked you what you were. Your heart pounded. Feeder? sure. Fat admirer? That seems obvious but yes. BHM? uhhhh maybe...you look down at yourself...."Well I don't exactly have a 6 pack" you thought..."but I do have one in the fridge"...you moved on to the next question. Feedee? oh boy...your fingers quivered a bit..."I can always go back" you thought before taking a deep breath and clicking yes. Profile ready to go you uploaded the photo. No face, just belly. It felt odd. You thought of what that new gainer had said about finally being herself. Why had no one said it also felt so devilishly erotic? You squeezed the new softness at your waist and clicked save.