I’ve Had Enough

Chapter 1

I still remembered the smell of cafeteria pizza and bleach from Roosevelt Elementary, the place where Lucas and I first became friends. We'd been two awkward fat kids shoved together at the same lunch table because nobody else wanted to sit near us. Him with his huge round glasses and Star Wars shirts stretched tight over his belly, me hiding behind comic books and pretending I didn't hear the jokes.

"Earthquake warning," kids would laugh whenever Lucas dropped into a chair.

We protected each other from all of it. Through elementary school. Through middle school. Through high school. Two chubby nerds against the world.

And God, I loved him for it.

Not that I ever told him.

I told myself it was enough just being near him. Sitting shoulder-to-shoulder during gaming marathons. Watching his soft stomach press against the hem of his shirts when he laughed too hard. Listening to him breathe heavily after climbing stairs while joking that cardio was a capitalist conspiracy.

Lucas was beautiful to me exactly as he was.

Maybe especially because he was fat.

By senior year he weighed around three hundred pounds, all broad shoulders and thick softness, and I hated myself for how much I noticed every detail. The way his cheeks flushed red after eating spicy wings. The way he groaned happily after finishing a huge meal. The way his body spilled over movie theater seats while mine secretly burned with attraction.

But I never said anything.

Because people like us didn't get stories like that.

Then college happened.

At first nothing changed. We enrolled at the same local community college, still drove around together, still played games until two in the morning. But sometime during that first semester Lucas started talking about wanting a "fresh start."

"I'm tired of being the fat guy," he told me one night while we sat in his car outside a taco place. "I wanna know what it feels like to walk into a room and not be the joke."

I smiled even though my chest hurt.

"You can do it," I said.

And he did.

God, he really did.

The weight started falling off him almost immediately. He counted calories religiously. Started going to the gym six days a week. Drank protein shakes instead of milkshakes. Every month his shirts fit looser. His jawline sharpened. His stomach flattened little by little.

Everyone noticed.

Girls who used to ignore him suddenly laughed at his jokes. Guys who once barked pig noises at us now invited him to parties and pickup basketball games. Lucas soaked it up like sunlight after years underground.

Meanwhile I stayed the same.

Still fat.

Still awkward.

Still invisible.

At first he included me. He'd text gym selfies and ask if I wanted to come lift weights. I'd make excuses because the truth was unbearable. Every pound he lost felt like grief to me. Every inch disappearing from his body felt personal, like watching someone slowly erase the version of him I loved.

Then the distance started.

Texts unanswered for hours.

Cancelled plans.

New friends.

Cool friends.

The same assholes who used to mock us.

I remember seeing him across campus one afternoon laughing with Tyler Beckett, a guy who once called Lucas "Planet Fitness" in high school because of his size. Lucas laughed so hard at something Tyler said that he nearly doubled over.

And when Lucas saw me watching?

His smile faded.

Embarrassment crossed his face.

Like I was the reminder he didn't want anymore.

That hurt more than anything.

By the end of freshman year Lucas had dropped a hundred pounds. One hundred. He went from obese to athletic. Two hundred pounds of lean muscle and confidence. Girls followed him around campus. Guys slapped his back like they'd always been friends.

And me?

I became the old life he wanted to escape.

The jokes started small.

"Careful, Kylo might eat all the pizza."

"Damn, bro, maybe try a treadmill sometime."

Always around his new friends. Always with that smug little grin afterward, like he wanted their approval more than my dignity.

I took it longer than I should have.

Because part of me still loved him.

Then came the night that changed everything.

A bunch of us were at some crowded apartment party near campus. Lucas was drunk, surrounded by people, basking in attention like a king finally wearing his crown. I stayed mostly quiet in the kitchen, sipping soda and wishing I hadn't come.

Then Lucas looked at me and laughed.

"You know," he said loudly, "Kylo's exactly what I was afraid of becoming if I never changed."

The room erupted.

Laughter.

Snickering.
Someone actually oinked.

I felt my face burn hot with humiliation while Lucas stood there grinning, toned arms folded confidently across his chest.

And something inside me snapped.

Not loudly.

Not dramatically.

Just quietly.

Like a wire finally breaking after years of strain.

I smiled at him.

Actually smiled.

Because in that moment I realized something Lucas had forgotten.

I knew him better than anyone.

I knew how much he loved food. How emotional eating comforted him. How praise made him indulgent. How quickly old habits returned under stress. I knew the cravings he still fought every single day because I'd listened to him describe them for years.

And suddenly, I had an idea.

A beautiful one.

I left the party early that night and lay awake in bed imagining it. Imagining Lucas slowly gaining weight again. Ten pounds. Twenty. Fifty. Watching his fitted shirts tighten. Watching softness return to his stomach and face. Watching him struggle to resist temptation while I stood nearby encouraging every indulgence with patient, loving precision.

The thought made my pulse race.

Because this wasn't just revenge.

No.

This was restoration.

Lucas thought becoming thin had transformed him into someone better, but all it really did was make him cruel. Arrogant. Hollow. The old Lucas, the real Lucas, still existed underneath all that gym-toned vanity.

I was going to bring him back.

Slowly.

Insidiously.

Me al by meal.

And maybe when his body grew huge and soft again, when the cool kids abandoned him the same way they eventually abandoned everyone, maybe then he'd remember who actually loved him from the beginning.

Maybe then he'd finally see me.

Contemporary Fiction Humiliation/Teasing Feeding/Stuffing Sexual acts/Love making Punishing/Forcing/Hypnosis Friends/Family Reunion Slob/Toilet/Farting Revenge/Jealousy/Envy Medical/Scientific Experiments Helpless/Weak/Dumpling Addictive Helpless Male Bisexual Feminization Friends/Roommates First person Illustrated novel

4 chapters, created 7 hours , updated 3 days

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