Revenge Is Best Served Fat

Chapter 1

The blinding, harsh light of limbo stung at my skin like a thousand little knives, I could just see the living room fading out as the white light closed in. I shook my arm free from the ones who were dragging me back to the living hell I fought so hard to escape. I turned to face them, furious.

"How dare you..." I said menacingly.

"You were exorcised father, you cannot go back." The small, petite blond woman said.

"You tried to take what was not yours father, we did what we had to do." The short, pudgy man added.

"I warned you Edward, you would not get away with stealing that man's life. Your time is over. You have no right to take another's life away just because you believe your own was unfulfilled." The slender, pale woman said.

"You will NEVER interfere with my affairs again woman!!" Edward roared.

"It doesn't matter father, you are here now." Joshua said.

"And you...you Joshua most of all, I thought you would be on my side." Edward said.

"Why would I be on your side? You were a horrible man in life and even worse in death. Did you think we wouldn't see what you were doing over there?" Joshua replied.

"I am your father and you will not speak to me with such disrespect!" Edward yelled.

"What can you possibly do? We're all stuck in limbo now, if we're lucky we may be allowed through the Gates of Heaven but you may be headed the other way." Joshua replied.

"This is why you ran my family business into the ground; you lack drive, motivation and shrewdness. I learned a lot living in the year 2014 and I will be damned if I will let that stop me from getting back. I will get back there and I made sure to leave myself a back door." Edward said.

"You are damned; this is Limbo. If you're lucky St. Peter will let you see Heaven before he sends you back down." Emma said.

"No my frigid wife; I am not damned. I am going back to Earth. And will make Andrea regret exorcising me." Edward replied coldly.

Just as his finished a new portal appeared in the whiteness, Edward smiled and hitched up his suspenders over his large, fat belly. His family looked shocked as they were sure that they had taken him away from Earth for good. Mina began to cry and Emma held her close, Joshua couldn't move he was transfixed by the portal.

"It seems I have your worthless family to thank for this Mina, when they picked up that furniture they also picked me up too. What Andrea failed to realize was that I am still bound to those objects. She may have removed me from my family home but she did not remove me from the things she gave to Javier." Edward explained.

"How can you do this?" Mina asked quietly.

"I have already told you; I died too soon and I want my life back, this time to start in a new century with inventions and technology beyond anything I could ever imagine. And when I am back on Earth, everything Derek stole from me will be returned." Edward said.

Edward walked through the portal, leaving his dumbstruck family back in Limbo, if they had half the mental prowess he did they would have thought to try out the same things he had. When he emerged on the other side, he was in a strange room. It was not the same neighbourhood as his family home, he was not even sure it was the same city. The furniture from the attic was in the room, including the old mirror where he first appeared. On the bed was a sleeping figure, hooked up to all sorts of strange beeping machines. Edward looked down at the figure, he appeared to have no idea he was not alone in the room. It was an old man, about 80 or so, he was hooked up to respirators and heart monitors. The chart on the end of his bed read TERMINAL. From what Edward had learned being in Derek's body was that it meant this man would soon die. He scoffed and turned away, he could not possess a dying old man. He turned when he heard the door open, an orderly entered the room and he looked outside the door before closing it quietly. The orderly began opening drawers and moving the old man's clothing around.

Edward watched silently from the corner as the thief pulled out an antique watch, it was his watch and still had the engraving on it. The thief pocketed it and continued to rifle through the things. Edward grinned; this thief may be his way out of here, he was obviously looking for things to steal from the dying to sell for drugs or something and this was an opportunity to find a suitable host to take possession of, preferably someone young, and virile who would have many, many good years he could steal. Once the thief had ascertained there was nothing more to steal he quietly slipped out of the room.

Edward followed him and realized he was in a hospice house, a place where they send the dying so they can leave this world peacefully outside of a hospital room. The thief walked by other orderlies and carried on conversations as if he hadn't just been stealing from a dying man. Edward could see other ghosts here; many were old and hardly noticed him following this guy. The thief entered a lobby and swiped his key card in a machine to end his shift. Edward followed the guy to his truck where he put his stole loot in the glove box. Edward sat silently in the back seat and watched the streets as he drove along.

When he saw the large green sign at a light that read Sunset Blvd. he knew here he was; Los Angeles. Back in the early 1900's Edward had come here for a party that he was invited to he remembered the look of the city back then, some of the original buildings still stood but many more were covered with graffiti and looked dilapidated. The thief lived in the LA slums and he could hear the distant wail of sirens and gunshots as the LAPD roared by chasing someone in a blue SUV. The thief took out the watch and got out of the car; Edward followed.