Chapter 1 - anticipation pt4 ch1

It had been four months since that day Luke dumped me and I was still a wreck about it. He pulled the carpet right out from under me, leaving me alone, overweight and with a full blown addiction to food.

The reality of it all didn't really set in for me until a few days after the initial breakup. As Luke was breaking up with me, he offered to let me stay at the apartment until I found a new place. I was in too much shock at that moment to even speak so I ended up just turning around and walking out the door before he could finish talking. With nowhere to go I called my close friends Stacy and Laura to see if either one of them had somewhere for me to stay. Stacy ended up having an extra room and gladly took me in. I sat in denial over the next two days not believing that Luke had actually dumped me, until he showed up at her place with all of my stuff in a few boxes. I heard Stacy call him an *** and slam the door in his face. That sent me spiraling.

That first week was really difficult. I spent most of those days getting sick to my stomach with sadness and ended up having to take time off of work because I was so distraught. Stacy and Laura did their best to not let me wallow by getting me out of the house. They hung out with me almost every night and on weekends took me to the movies and for bike rides. Getting my mind off of things really did help. I appreciated everything they were doing for me but I also felt guilty because I had neglected them so much while dating Luke. They hadn't judged me at all when it was obvious I was getting bigger and confessed my gaining to them. I felt terrible about not treating my true friends how they deserved to be treated. "Mel seriously don't worry about it, sometimes you just have to find a happy medium with that stuff. We figured you would come around eventually" Laura told me as she put her hand on my shoulder. Laura was our de facto leader and always knew the right thing to say. I was about to get weepy when Stacy chimed in. "Yeah we were about to say something but then he just dumped you and....Oh my god I'm sorry!" Stacy said as her eyes widened and she put her hand over her mouth.

Now Stacy isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the box and has a tendency to shove her foot in her mouth. This and the fact that she is tall and beautiful get her a lot of hate from other girls. Once you get to know her though you realize she's a real sweetheart and doesn't have a malicious bone in her body. Laura and I died laughing at Stacy's gaffe, it was the first time in a while I had laughed and it felt good.

Over the next few weeks I started to come out of the fog. I started to slowly become myself again. There was still a huge gaping hole where my heart used to be but I was finally able to start functioning again. After the first month I started to pay Stacy for half of the rent, she hadn't asked but I insisted. Stacy's apartment was an eclectic mix of her own artwork and boxes of merchandise from her time as a bikini model for car and motorcycle magazines. She even had a framed poster of herself lying half naked on a Lamborghini, I felt awkward every time I pasted it in the hallway. Her modeling contracts had started to dry up about two years ago that was when she began getting into her painting and sculpting fulltime. Some of her work was actually really good and littered the entire apartment.

You would have thought that with my emotional state that my appetite would have evaporated, that was not the case. Apparently I like to eat my feelings. I hadn't known that about myself before. My eating habits didn't really change at all during this time. I still was relying on food to give me what I was looking for emotionally and sexually. It filled that void for me no matter how sad I was. I ate when I was sad, I ate when I was happy and I especially ate when I was horny. Even though I was eating just as much, if not more than before my weight had stopped going up. I was plateaued at two hundred pounds even, two months after the breakup. Not that I was particularly trying to gain more, I was just surprised that I hadn't packed on more. I was still eating like this because I had come to like my chubby plump body and didn't want to go back to being skinny. Maybe I was hanging to my life with Luke but I didn't really care.

I felt comfortable at the new place and quickly made myself at home. When I first moved into Stacy's place her cabinets and fridge were basically bare. That quickly changed as I loaded them up with my favorite foods. Now that my weight had stabilized I didn't have to continually buy new clothes so I had some extra money for food. "Oh my god...hehe" I would hear Stacy giggle as she noticed the ridiculous amount of my fattening treats in the kitchen. "Hey Mel is it ok if I have some of these?" She said holding a bag of pretzels at me. "Oh of course, have whatever you want in there" I said back to her. "That's ok I don't want to get fat or any....thing" her face contorted as the last word left her mouth. I could see the embarrassment run across her face so I tried to reassure her remark was ok "Stacy its fine come watch TV with me."

She joined me on the couch while I was finishing up a huge bowl of homemade macaroni and cheese. Before the mac and cheese I had eaten a large ham Panini and some French fries so my belly was feeling nicely stretched out. With the last bite of pasta in my mouth I looked down and noticed that my shirt had ridden up and my belly was being exposed. It was hanging over the waist band of my jeans in a big soft roll. Embarrassed I quickly tried to hide the exposed fat by pulling down my shirt but it was too late, Stacy had noticed. She tried to act cool about it but the shock was written all over her face. After a minute or two of silence she turned to me and said "What does it feel like?" This wasn't really a conversation that I wanted to have but she seemed so genuinely curious that I felt like I had to indulge her. But first I needed a drink. I poured us two glasses of wine and as we drank them I asked her "Do you really want to know what this is like?" Stacy nodded with sincerity.

I had to start at the beginning to explain to her how I managed to gain this much weight so quickly. If I just told her what it was like being fat she wouldn't have got the whole picture. Reliving how innocently my first stuffing started off was kind of painful but it needed to be told to make my point. I explained to her how every time I gorged myself I got rewarded for it and how it made me start to equate food with pleasure. She nodded understandingly. I explained to her how Luke made me face my fears by pigging out in public and how that gave me more confidence to try other kinds of stuffing sessions. She got really intrigued when I told her about the time Luke told me about a plan to overeat when he knew I would have to wait for days to actually be able to do it. "He really got in your head huh?" Stacy said blown away by everything I just revealed to her.

That was when something clicked in my head. Telling Stacy every step that I had gone through made me realize it was all by design. Luke had had a plan and he executed it on me. Him leaving his phone open with a picture of the huge woman gorging herself, that was no accident. He was testing what my reaction would be. Every move he had made with me during our eight and half months together was deliberate and precise. Was his design for me over and that's why he dumped me? The more I sat there thinking about it and stewing the more I started to get pissed off.

"That's pretty crazy how he tangled you in his web like that but I kind of meant what does it feel like being....umm...chubby?" Stacy said snapping me back into reality. I got up and got us another glass of wine. I took a large gulp of the wine and started to tell her everything. "It feels sexy actually. I really love the softness I have now. Every part of my body is plump and soft and it feels so good to touch it. It's like my skin is more sensitive than it ever used to be, I love that. I always feel my body jiggle against the fabric of my clothes when I walk and it's such a turn on. As much as I love how it feels I'll admit being this big is kind of a burden though. Lugging around this extra chub is exhausting and I am constantly hungry which is annoying. Clothes are annoying too. I have popped so many buttons that I have lost count. This belly just flops over all of my waist bands so I have to hide it with big baggy shirts, which just makes me look even bigger. None of my old clothes fit and I am getting too big for most of the normal stores so I am stuck with not having any cute clothes. That part really sucks. I know what Luke did to me was horrible but I do like where I am right now and I don't know if I would go back."

The next words out of Stacy's mouth took me by complete surprise. "Can I touch it?" she uttered drunkenly. "What my stomach?" I asked as I took another sip of my wine. "Yeah" she replied calmly. "Oh I don't know. It's a little embarrassing for me" I said nervously. "Look I saw like literally a thousand naked girls when I was doing photo shoots, it's not that serious. I'm just curious that's all."