The Top of Laps

Chapter 1

I loved Sarah. You might ask, “How can you love someone, and want to humiliate them?” I really don’t know the answer, and if you asked her, she probably wouldn’t know why she –wanted- to be humiliated, but as sure as the sun rises each morning, she wanted it. Let me tell you how it started.

We’d married young, she was 22, and I was 24. While we loved each other deeply, our sex life had waned over time, becoming almost like going to the bathroom when you’d drank too much, just something you had to do. Neither of us was happy about it, but we didn’t talk about it, we pretended it didn’t exist.

Having grown up in the late 90s, I was an expert in finding porn on the internet, and we started having sex less and less as I was too afraid to let her know what I liked, whenever I felt the urge, I would find some alone time with my laptop. I had always liked heavier women, and Sarah was not exactly large, although she wasn’t thing either, weighing 142 pounds and standing 5’8, but I found myself looking at larger women.

If only it had ended there, but it became an obsession. I’d download anything with a heavy woman, ranging from slightly chubby to obese. To my growing dismay, it didn’t end there, and just like your normal porn, you can find glossy shots of fat woman playing with themselves to every possible fetish imaginable. In my case, I would spend my “private time” mostly looking at anything with a BBW being degraded or humiliated, but there was no denying how hard I got off on it.

My mind reeled after every little session, I would think “What’s wrong with me? How can I like women this fat? Why do I want I enjoy these disgusting acts?” It definitely put a damper on our marriage, until one night, I went to close Sarah’s laptop she had left on, the light from the screen way too bright, before going to bed.

Apparently, Sarah was no stranger to internet porn either. I wasn’t snooping or anything, my guess is that she simply forgot to wipe her browser history. She always was forgetful. I was instantly offended, was I not enough for her? I tabbed through the history, finding a few pictures of women in bondage, but mostly stories. I didn’t read them all, but glancing through them, her tastes were more varied than mine, but there was one key to all of them: the women were incredibly submissive.

I didn’t mention it, but it was on my mind all the time. Our love life had reached an all time low, as our hard drives filled up. I couldn’t confront her directly about it, but there was a problem, and she didn’t fight me too much when I suggested a therapist.