Chapter 1 - Fat Story, Not Backstory

Hi. I’m Grace Fallon. You probably don’t know me. I like to keep to myself really. Never have been much of a people person. I got bullied at school, so friends were never close by. But I went to college, got my degree, and am now working at a top law firm in New York after passing the bar exam. I’m originally from the UK, but came to America when I was eight.

I found everything to do with food to be such a culture shock. Not in that it tasted different, more the volume and excess of it all. My child’s portion was easily a UK adult’s. This is really how I got so fat in my youth. My parents weren’t great cooks either. Even still, they were too busy to put any time into learning. So, as a result, we’d go out for dinner or get takeaways. A lot. Not great, but when you pair that with zero sporting talent, no confidence and bad genetics from my overweight parents, the weight piles on. Like I said, I got bullied at school.

But I was always smart. The smartest in the room. I got top grades and headed off to Harvard Law School. I really was not a party animal and didn’t like drinking so I used all that spare time to study. Thing is, there’s only so much studying you can really do. So, I began to research healthy eating as well as lifestyle changes I could make to shift some of the weight.

When I started college, I was about 240 lbs. I gained the freshman 15 because I didn’t know how to cook, but, after my research, things started to change. I ate better, worked out at the gym, walked! It’s crazy how Americans think walking is so alien. When I got home for Christmas that year, I had lost 50 lbs. My parents immediately thought something was wrong, refusing to believe my new found healthy lifestyle.

I looked better and felt better with myself. I love my parents, but they’re worriers. I think part of them feels guilty for taking me to America when I was young. This meant they always made sure I was taken care of, mothered and most importantly, well fed. Christmastime with them was a non-stop eating parade. I don’t know how, but I just fell back into old habits. I gorged on the treats they made me and didn’t work out once. When I got back to my college dorm, my roommate, Martha, said to me, ‘Gracie, you had a good holiday!’ She nodded at my unbuttoned pants. I looked at myself in the mirror, horrified by what I saw.

I ran out to the bathroom and took off my clothes. My belly had returned and any muscle definition I had gained was lost to the fat. I sighed, feeling dejected. But, I rallied, stood tall and took a photo of myself. I am about five foot seven with narrow shoulders and wide hips. My boobs are quite large, a 30DD, but are still perky. I have dark skin, and when I wasn’t as heavy, quite pretty in the face. My nose is a little big, but I have soft brown eyes, high cheekbones and naturally full lips. When I was fatter, no one would take notice of me. But when I was healthier and thinner, people started approaching me, guys and girls, asking me questions, buying me drinks and just generally taking an interest.

I’m only human, and after a childhood of being bullied, I craved this attention.