Chapter 1 - kissing cousins

Your mom had invited my sister and me to swim with you at your neighborhood pool. Our mom had to work all summer, and the long, hot days stretched before us with nothing to do but watch TV and stare at each other. I couldn't wait to go.

We called each other cousin, but we're actually third cousins, once removed--twice removed? I can never keep it straight. At any rate, your mom was nice to take pity on us and invite us along.

I think I was only 12 at the time. You must have been 12? Thirteen? I already knew that I had a thing for boys that were a little on the heavy side, to my chagrin. When my friends talked about their crushes, I knew I would be teased mercilessly if I told them I liked chubby Derek in my 4th period English class. My older sister sat on the front seat, next to your mom, while you and I sat in back. I saw your belly jiggle under your T-shirt out of the corner of my eye. I had my big beach towel wrapped tightly around me, my legs pressed together as I felt a warmth spread between my thighs.

We didn't have much to say to each other--just two awkward kids, on the cusp of adolescence. My prayers for breasts had so far gone largely unanswered. I looked out the window to keep myself from staring at your tummy. I could feel myself blush, and hoped you wouldn't notice.

When we got to the pool, you quickly pulled your shirt off and dashed out of the car. I'm not sure if you were embarrassed, or just wanted to join your friends, but I only saw you from afar for the rest of the afternoon. At one point, you did a cannonball off of the diving board. I heard your friends cheer at the huge splash you made, soaking the blonde lifeguard. She pretended to be annoyed, but you could tell she loved the attention.
My sister mostly avoided me--too cool for her little sister, I guess. I found some younger kids there and got to know them. Once or twice, I thought I saw you watching me from across the pool, but I couldn't be sure. Sun was in my eyes.

Three hours later, your mom came back for us. Our hands and feet had turned pruney, and we were hungry and tired. You were already wrapped in your towel, the fabric tucked under your arms. Most of the boys wore their towel around their hips, showing off their stomachs, but not you. You trailed behind us as we walked to the car. We climbed in the backseat again, and for a few brief moments as you struggled to pull the T-shirt back over your head, I saw your gut in all of its naked glory--pale and doughy-looking, a thick roll at your hips, with a deep belly button. I couldn't stop myself from staring. I managed to tear my eyes away just as you got your shirt past your head.

Your mom had promised us a late lunch, so she took us to get fast food. You sat across from me and devoured a double cheeseburger with a large fry and chocolate shake (swimming sure works up an appetite, doesn't it?). If your mom was worried about her "growing boy", she certainly didn't show it. I'm sure she called it baby fat, to make herself feel better. I pretended to be really interested in my chicken sandwich.

Swimming became a weekly event that summer. The Summer of Chub, I've often called it in my head. Always makes me smile to think of it. Sometimes my sister came with us, sometimes she didn't. Once or twice, I remember her teasing you about your girth, and it was all I could do not to punch her in her stupid mouth. Later that year, we moved far away from your family, and so that was the end of the swimming.

We don't see each other much these days, just at family reunions every couple of years or so. To my delight, you never lost the baby fat. On the contrary, it seems like you've added to it every time I see you.