chapter 2

MOTHERHOOD

As a 32 year old mother of 3, I had my hands full. Dean was super supportive, but really busy, so I was responsible for taking care of all three. Anyone can tell you that having 3 under 2 is a nightmare. I was 230 lbs after having the twins and I felt like wheezing fat ass. But, keeping up with the little guys over the next 3 years was a workout. I barely had time to eat, and by the time they started pre-K I'd dropped all the way down to 185. I felt great. I also got and I was able to start working with my trainer again while the kids were at school Over the next year I shaved another 20 lbs off. I was 10 years older and within 10 lbs of my college weight! A lb. a year didn't seem too bad. Then, since our oldest was about to start kindergarten, we moved to the suburbs to be in a better district. Since we'd moved so far, I stopped working with my trainer and started to lose focus.

Over the next year, I worked my way back up to 180. I knew I had a big but and fat thighs, but I though maybe I'd just be one of those who looked sexy, just a bit overfed. But when the twins went to school I converted to a full time soccer Mom and I really started to lose it.

SOCCER MOM

As a stay at home mom with kids at school, I had nothing to do except browse facebook and that gets boring in a hurry so I munched on treats while I browsed. I always felt guilty about it, but I just couldn't help it. I was SO bored. Then, when I went to pick up the kids, I'd have to get them a quick snack to hold them over to dinner when their dad got home and of course I'd have some too. And then of course we ate dinner. I gained 50 lbs in my first year as a soccer mom. My calves were plump and my thighs we're FAT touching all the way down to my knees. By ass was the biggest and roundest it had ever been, and my gut rested on my fat thighs when I sat watching soccer games with a diet coke in my pudgy hand. I couldn't believe it, but I was bigger than Dean now. I actually asked him if it bothered him, but he said he didn't mind as long as I was happy and healthy. Since we still had an active sex life, I believed him. It must have been because he was so strong that all my extra weight didn't make a difference. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have such a great husband.

Some of the other much more overfed stay at home moms notice my weight gain though and invited me to visit their trainer with them. I swear all three of them weighed over 300 lbs, so I was skeptical of what training they did, but I didn't have anything better to do. It was nothing like what I used to do. It was more social hour than fitness. No wonder all 3 of them were fat. Still though, it was nice having something to do during the day. Plus we'd go get lunch and have some wine after each session. I think even without these ladies I'd still have gotten quite a bit fatter, but they did some damage.

After about 6 months, I was wheezing harder, lifting less and had 30 lbs, heavier. I wasn't the only one either. It was clear all of us in worse shape not better shape. So we stopped training and just met for lunch instead. Of course, the exercise HAD been slowing our weight gain down, we'd just been eating too much so this didn't help at all and I shot from 270 right past 300.

I didn't know I weighed over 300 lbs until two years later though when I visted the doctor to get a long overdue checkup. Now let's be real, I knew I was a full fledged fatty at this point. About a year prior, I'd Dean and I hire a full time nanny because I was having a hard time keeping up with the kids, and since then I'd kept growing. I knew my thighs were like tree trunks that shook while I waddled. I knew my ass stuck out so far behind me like a shelf that I could balance beer cans on it, dean and I had tried. I knew my gut was huge and heavy and made it hard for me to stand up. I knew my arms we're thicker than my thighs had been, I'd literally tried to fit them in an old pair of pants. I knew I had G cups. I knew I was a huge fatty, but still, I was surprised when the doctor told me I weighed 390 lbs. I wonder if it will stop here, or how fat I am going to get.