Joy of joan

Chapter 1 - discovery

Joan reached for another Hershey's kiss, dropping it on her tongue, letting it melt as she thought. She's come out of a small spring break fling feeling dejected. He broke it off due to her size. She looked to her belly, indented in the middle by years of refusing to buy larger pants. She grasped her muffin top, shaking it gently and sighing.

Joan didn't want a relationship really. She needed to concentrate on school and her job. But was it too much to be thought of as beautiful? To be appreciated as the sexual goddess she knew she was? She giggled a little at the absurdity of her last thought. Sexual goddess. She wished, her last fling used her for little more than a cock warmer.

That never stopped her from imagining a world where she was begged after, teased ruthlessly, then praised for her skill and beauty. She traced the tip of a kiss around her lips then sucked it into her mouth. She remembered the time a friend of hers on a school trip once said she would have been a bombshell in the 1700s. Some people had to think her body was a bombshell now...right?

She opened her phone, tap the search bar, entering one letter at a time "sexy fat girls". She went to images and laughed. Three-fourths of these girls barely compared to her size. So many bathing suits, negligees, all girls with huge asses or ample breasts.

She noted that the women with huge bellies were so much bigger then her. One in particular made her pause. There was a blond woman, her hair cut short to frame her pudgy face, in a stark red bathing suit Joan would never be brave enough to wear. The blonde's truly fat thighs squeezed through the openings in her tight fishnets. Joan squirmed in her seat at the image. She didn't think it was possible to be that big let alone so...bold. Joan continued to scroll down until she saw a cartoon pin up girl with "bbw girls rock" underneath in bolded letters.

Bbw? What was that? She searched that next, and felt relief. Those girls she would consider skinny greatly reduced and chubby cuties increased. She finally saw girls her size in cute cocktail dresses, bright eye catching hair, beautifully done makeup. Joan became conscious of her dyed black hair in an unkept bun. She let it down and watched her curls rest just above her chest. They made her black pj top look grey in comparison. Maybe she would go pj shopping later in the week. Spend some money on something cute, like she kept seeing these girls wear.

The pictures varied from modelesque professional pictures to casual girls in tight shirts and sweatpants. Were these non-model girls really considered beautiful? She clicked on one with a girl laid out on a couch, clutching her stomach and smiling lazily at the camera. Joan felt a ping of jealousy at her olive skin, even as she noted the wine purple stretch marks. She went to the original site and saw there was a whole blog for this one girl. Joan saw a caption underneath the picture in question.

"So full, everyone! My Honey stuffed me with two medium pizzas, a 2 liter, and a pan of brownies with Nutella. Making up for losing a pound somehow yesterday! Send my Honey stuffing suggestions in the ask :P #packingonpounds #blessedfeedee #feederism #bbw

Joan read it over and over, her mind rejecting the phrase 'making up for losing a pound yesterday'. Losing a pound. Making up for it. Joan recalled joining weight watchers and feeling ashamed at gaining 5lbs after the first week. She had followed it perfectly, her mother who made her join had watched her. Joan remembered being devastated. Her mother gave up pushing her to lose weight after that, the one good thing that came out of that experience. But this girl...lost one...and wanted more?

She dove into the blog archive, trying to understand. This girl had a friend who she referred to as "Honey" who bought and feed her food until she couldn't move. She was weighed and measured once a week. Joan dug so deep she found a series of pictures where this girl wore clothes from 50lbs ago and having to be cut out of them, her Honey had stuffed her so tight with pure desserts.

Joan shook her head, not realizing how close to the screen she leant or how fast her heart was beating at reading the story. She blushed at noticing her nipples hardened, her legs tight together. She looked at the hashtags quickly and saw "happy 250". Joan blinked. She went to the blogs FAQ to double check and saw this girl was now 275lbs...with a short term goal of 300lbs.

Joan stood up, aware again of the wetness between her thighs. She went to her bathroom and stood on the dust covered scale. She watched the digital readout think before flashing in red "323 lbs"

Joan giggled lightheaded. She lifted her shirt and rubbed her stomach slowly, savoring for the first time the old, transparent stretch marks that decorated her. She licked her lips and remembered the bag of kisses. The one that was supposed to be her desserts for the week. She had to stop herself from running back to the bag, knowing they wouldn't last the night.