i feel this.

i love my lifestyle, i love my sex life, and i am completely happy being a big, fat guy... but honestly i am surprised when i step on the scale that i am still getting heavier. i am getting close to 450 lbs, and while that has an element of excitement to it, being over 400 definitely has added additional struggles that i don't necessarily want to make any more challenging.

food and beer are just so damn good, though!

before i got fat, i had dated fat people and took on the role of feeder in most of my relationships. when you are with fat and growing people over the course of 20+ years, you don't really have to tell people. to most friends and acquaintances they didn't know the kink aspect, but they knew i preferred bigger, fatter partners.
the kink aspect, to me, is personal. it's like, do you casually talk to people about their interest in bondage, or anal sex? i hope not, because for the most part they aren't interested in that and probably don't want to know! that is what these communities are for - we have a shared interest.

i have written about this in previous threads, so i won't repeat it all... but there was a real moment of "no return" for me, too.

i had taken a conscious break from exercise and restraint, and was enjoying a life of excess with my girlfriend at that time. i was around 150 or 160 when we'd met, and i thought i would let myself get up to 200 and then lose the weight...

well, i overshot the mark a little, getting up to about 220 before going back to the gym. that lasted a few weeks, and i was over 250 by the time i decided i *really* had to do something!

but by then i was just so embarrassed being in the gym... i could only last a few minutes on the treadmill, my gut bouncing all the time... and i was humiliated by how light the weights were that i could lift! i could barely do a push-up, and i couldn't even do a single sit-up!

so i hit that point psychologically them. now, almost 200 lbs heavier, i am pretty resigned to being fat, the point of no return is so long past!

i have a very large belly, and a really big fupa. my fupa flesh covers my penis completely, even when erect. to handle it, i need to lie on my side, which gets the belly out of the way, and then press my hand down to squish the fupa flab out of the way. so, it's not really a comfortable thing to do (oddly, it is hard on my shoulder).

i have heard from other guys here in a similar situation that they could masturbate just by manipulating their fupa.
unfortunately that has not worked for me.

there are lots of toys out there to help, though. and having a partner who gets turned on by all of this helps, too!

yes, the last 5 years have been quite a journey for me - if more ways than one! but thanks!

my partner em, another fat-friendly couple and i are going out tomorrow night for dinner and then craft beer - would be great to meet some local ff folks! if you happen to be downtown on friday mar. 24th post here. i am not picky on the location, we'll try to pick something central.

this is really true, too. my weight gain has been primarily lifestyle - overindulging over a couple of years really increased my eating capacity (bigger stomach, takes more food to feel full). that, combined with a slowing metabolism (elimination of exercise, but also just getting older) was the recipe for me.

if i gain about another 25 lbs i will be about 3x my starting size! so it's not all genetics

we've had a few meet-ups at the eton house on danforth ave... they used to hold bbw parties there several years ago, so folks in the community knew where it was - but it's not really central.

esplanade is pretty easy to get to for out-of-towners who might want to take the train in, so the scotland yard pub is a good option. but i think most of the restaurants along there probably have large sitting space.

i thought i would add to this, because "eat until you couldn't possibly eat anymore" might be interpreted differently by different people... this is what made a real difference for me when i was early in my gaining (180-250 lbs).

i would eat until i felt full. *really* full. and then i would push past this, and eat some more - stopping well before i thought i might be sick. it didn't really matter what i ate (they were just regular foods - just more volume), but it was the "beyond stuffed" feeling that was stretching my stomach.

it takes time. you can't do it every meal, every day. if you just do it a few times a week, you will start to notice that you won't feel as full as quickly. that's because your stomach is getting stretched out, its capacity is larger.

when you get a big ol' tummy you'll just feel like eating more, more often.

parents want whatever they think is best for you... it is not always going to align with how you feel or what you want. i only see my mom 4 or 5 times a year, but each time she expresses concern for my weight. it's ok. i don't fight her on it, and i don't throw it in her face. i tell her i am happy, and i know i should lose some (from her perspective, anyway).

i am temped to really chow down and gorge myself when she says these things, but really i just want those visits to go as smoothly and argument-free as possible!