Going to pick something off the ground, and missing it because my belly got in the way and I didn't manage to bend over as far as I'd intended.

When I started shopping for 2XL shirts and a jacket, and half of what I tried on at that size was too tight.

Doing laundry and really noticing just how wide my new jeans are.

Just a few that have really stood out to me.

While BMI is a very imperfect measure, it somewhat lets you compare body sizes across different heights. Yours would be around 36 or 37, and that was right about where my wife began to 'feel too fat' (i.e. it was starting to noticeably affect her life). As not-a-feedist she lost some weight ... but gained most of it back with pregnancy, and handled it better the second time around (stronger, more used to it), lost some again and then gained it back again in her forties (age will do that) and hasn't found it holding her back at all since.

Meanwhile I've just recently hit bmi 36 and for the first time I'm beginning to find my fat getting intrusive in my life.

Which is all mostly to say that while I'm sure it varies by person, in my experience, yah, this is the size where being fat begins to actually bite, and where you have to decide if you are going to put up with it, or lose enough to avoid most of those issues. But also that it gets easier over time as your body adjusts. Muscles that regularly deal with your weight get stronger, you unconsciously develop new pattern of movement to work around your fat, you get used to the look of the bigger you, you automatically pace yourself to what you can deal with, and so on.

Or to put it another way, it can be rough when you first grow to this size, but living at this sort of size isn't as hard in the longer run.

I remember when my wife got to that point -- it turned me on something shocking I still savor that memory some 20+ years later (ever after that she has always used a ladder or ramp ladder when getting out of a pool (but I'd notice the bit of struggle even then once most of her weight was out of the water).

Anyway, I'm glad you got some pleasure out of the experience

I've been through the same thing. A few things that seem to have worked some for me.

- lots of general physical attention (not just when it is about sex). Words speak louder than actions and all that. Just coming up behind her and wrapping your arm around her while pressing up against her butt, or sit beside her and put your arm around her waist, or casually run a finger along her jaw while you are sitting there.

- If you can afford it, get into helping her shop. Too small clothes are uncomfortable and a reminder of the weight she has gained. But buying new clothes may make her feel guilty (I got too fat for my clothes! I shouldn't buy new, I should lose some weight ...). but if you buy her things, or take her shopping to try things on and find teh right fit, it is more likely that she'll have good feelings about those clothes, instead of bad ('these are the clothes my amazing boy friend bought me!' instead of 'ugh, my fat clothes&apos

- Do put focus on good health. Getting fruits and vegetables, not tooooo much junk food, get out for walks together and all that stuff. One because it is generally good stuff to do. Two because if she is doing things good for herself she is less apt to go into a 'I let myself become a fat blob' funk. Three because good health feels good, and when you feel good it is easier to feel good about your body. Four, if other people know about her healthy habits they are less apt to be on her about her weight.

- When getting more intimate, give lots of attention to the typical erogenous areas (breasts, butt, even neck) but also give some attention to all of her, including her fattiest spots. Drag a finger up her legs and over her hips and up her side, run a finger along her inner arm, start kissing her mouth and then kiss down her neck, between her breasts and across her tummy before going down on her. Show that you are interested in those parts that she has been taught you should like, but that you like all of her, including her fat spots. She might be insecure about her fat areas, but when the attention is part of a bigger thing, and isn't focused there, it helps her get used to it.

- get her on top of you. Sitting on your lap, on top during sex, whatever else you come up with. So that she knows that she is literally not too heavy for you.

I hope those ideas help you some. Best of luck!

There can be so many pieces to loving fat. The feel of being fat, the look of being fat, the reaction of others to you being fat, the way fat feels on another person, the way it looks on another person, being with someone who enjoys being fat, teasing someone for being fat, encouraging someone to get fatter, enjoying particular fat features (like bellies) on yourself or others, and on and on the list goes.

At first it can be really hard to figure out which parts appeal to you and which are just kind of benefiting from the halo of the rest of it. So for sure take some time and explore as best as you can before making any commitments.

Some things you could try:
- as someone already said: read fat related erotica, like the stories here or on the Library boards at Dimensions Magazine
- Look at pictures here of fat men and women. How do you feel looking at the men? What would you like to do with them or have them do to you? Which women would you like to look like? Can you imagine living your life in those bodies?
- you could try padding, although that is a lot easier if you have some privacy. As simple as shoving a pillow under a night-shirt, or as sophistacated as getting some larger clothes and using a mix of towels, clothes, or fancier tools to make yourself look bigger. If you have the chance to do something like going for a drive while padded and going through a drive-thru, how do you feel about it? (look at the padding board here for more ideas)
- pay attention to fat people around you in daily life. Would you like to date someone who looks like them? Would you like to look like them? Why or why not?
- lots of daydreaming and fantasizing (with or without masturbation). Deliberately push beyond your usual fantasies and try out different scenarios, and see how you feel abou tthem.
- and of course, discuss things here, because input from others who have been through similar processes might help!

Yah, a lot of us are pulled both ways. I've tried to compromise by being just a little fat, so I could kind of straddle both worlds, but over the years what 'a little fat' means has increased and I'm quite a bit fatter now than when I started. And of course when I do try to lose, as you found, it is hard to lose as much as you have gained.

Hopefully you'll be able to move away from your home town again, and have a little more freedom to make this choice without as much pressure around you.

I'm of the 'always been into it in some way' group. Not active feedism, but as a pre-schooler I spent a lot of time thinking about the nursery rhyme Jack Spratt, and a few years later when I read a picture book of a faux-fairy-tale that had a princess and hero who were so fat they had to roll everywhere there was part of me that just woke up and said "that would be amazing!". When I hit puberty my first fantasies were of having a weight gain club with the chubbiest boys and girls I knew (by the end of high school I'd be the fattest boy and so get to date the fattest girl -- so my first 'sexual' fantasies were nothing to do with sex and all about getting fat). And basically in varying degrees ever since.

I agree that is a low weight, it really does sound like back issues. Have you talked with medical professionals about your back? (Yes, many will just be 'lose weight' but if you keep working at it you may get a useful diagnosis and advice)

A bit of a brain dump below, sorry for so many words. All just based on my experiences and reading, not claiming the ultimate truth to any of this. And of course every body is different.

To be clear, right now your body is working the way it should, keeping your weight steady. I understand that you want to gain, but just be clear that what you are talking about is bypassing or breaking down your body's natural checks and balances. Obviously there can be some risks to doing that (I'm no expert to say what risks with what courses of action, but go in with your eyes wide open).

But before even talking about increasing your appetite, those stomach aches are a bit concerning. Is it just the feeling of being too full? Or a burning? Or feeling nauseous? Other symptoms? I'm wondering if you could have a food intolerance of some sort that you could be triggering with your typical foods. One thing to try might be getting full on something very simple (say oatmeal porridge, no milk), and see if you have the same issues or not.

As for increasing appetite, I think there are basically three things: medication, temptation, and practice.

It is well known that certain medications increase appetite (but that is likely not an option), and the munchies from pot is also well known (possibly an option, depending on where you are, etc).

Temptation is basically keeping tempting foods and good smells around you, to trigger appetite. How much you can do that may depend on your living and working conditions, but one way to do some of that is to get into baking -- makes nice smells, it is tempting to snack as you make and put away things, and if you keep some of your baking out and visible then it provides that part of the temptation.

But the big one is practice. Getting away from eating when you are hungry, and instead eating whenever it is feasible. Getting the "I should eat something" mindset, so that whenever you have a break from what you are doing or transitioning between activities you think "I should eat something" and then if you reasonably comfortably can, you do so (it obviously helps to have snacks handy to make this easy). And over time you increase how much you eat each of those times. And you try to eat your full normal meals, too. So over time you change your prompt for eating from "I'm hungry" to "It has been an hour since I last ate something."

Best of luck!

Agreed that it is a more current look. I have no issues with the current layout/look, but I can imagine that to new comers it may make the site look dated.