Everyone who emails me wants to talk about my big belly, but I'm in love with my tits. I love that they're big enough so they show in T-shirts and if I move any faster than walking, they bounce like a girl's.

I'm surprised others haven't mentioned this, but why not make some soups? Heavy cream is a major ingredient to veggie soups like cream of broccoli, cream of pea, cream of tomato, etc.

Plus, since these soups are liquid-based, why not drink a large coffee cup or two (or more) for breakfast in the morning?

A lot of my shirts are stretching across my back and when I sit down, the buttons are gapping. Maybe one out of a half dozen pairs of shorts fit now.

One of my biggest fantasies is to go to the beach in a too-small Speedo with two footlong subs and stuff myself...then waddle past the hardbodies as I go to the concession stand to get more food.

I'm the same way. A lot of my boobage comes from my sideboob.

Does that mean that buying bras is different for men?

I always found that hot as well. I love fitting the stereotype of the soft, overfed American who takes advantage of every opportunity to eat.

I LOVE the idea of my muscles getting punier and weaker and being replaced by soft chub. I don't want to get immobile, but it is HOT HOT HOT the idea that despite being BIG, it's all soft dough and I'm almost helpless. Big, thick arms, but with no muscle there, just weak, useless pork.

I want to schedule a meetup probably in the Loop or River North. Lunch or dinner would be most appropriate. Who wants to meet up some weekend in February?

Last night I wore a diaper and a tiny Tinkerbell T-shirt. Pure padded bliss.

When your belly begins brushing up against things.