I was an avid weightlifter, dieter and exerciser. I had a serious fatphobia for myself but I always found fat guys attractive. Paradoxically to the fatphobia, in the back of my mind I wanted to look like them. After I had shoulder surgery, and later on, back surgery, I couldn’t work out the way I liked to and started gaining.

As I was gaining I liked the way I looked. I remember being in a dept. store, seeing myself in a mirror and noticing my belly stretching the polo shirt I was wearing. I actually liked how I looked rocking a belly.

Long story short, I wavered many times about gaining. I’m 5’6” and eventually got up to 245 lbs. My goal was 250-260, maybe more. But I unintentionally lost about 30 lbs last year and am trying to gain again, but I’m stuck at 215-220.

What’s probably holding me back is I can’t afford new clothes. I’m in loose 42 waist pants, my shirts are roomy, so I do have room to grow.

I just got to like being fat.

Even though I’m not working anymore (lost my job due to covid, decided to retire) I still like to wear my business casual clothes even just staying home. I don’t very often wear sweats. I bought pants that have the “magic waistband”, as I call it. Even if they’re too snug I like when my belly hangs over. Shirts are another story. I don’t like it when I outgrow my shirts. I definitely don’t like the look of buttons pulling. Fortunately I have some room to grow into them so they fit just right.

A couple of times in the beginning. I got a good look at myself in the mirror before going to work one day. I was wearing a snug polo shirt that really showed off how fat I was getting. I was horrified because I wasn’t trying to gain. But later I just began to like it. This happened several times. Now about 6-7 years later I’m not as fat as I really want to be.

I was once 137 lbs, I’m just about 5’6”. I wore a 32 waist and 38-39 jacket. I got up as high as 245 lbs, 44 waist and 50 jacket. My goal was 260-270 but I fell short.

Pizza, pasta, rice, rice and beans, potatoes. See a pattern? Lol Hot Pockets, Hungry Man dinners, eggs and grits w/ Scrapple.

Height 5’6”
Weight 215
Belly 46”
Pants 40-42
Shirts XL
BF% 39.9

I unintentionally lost weight last year (a lot of activity), and am trying to regain.

Weight was 245
Belly was 53”
Pants were 44

It took me a while to get used to not sucking it in because I did it for so long. In fact I still fight the urge but I’m getting better. I consciously relax it, remembering I’m proud of my belly. I’m sitting here right now with it relaxed. Wherever I happen to walk around, in a store, mall, parking lot, I just let it go.

I got past the point of no return when I saw I lost some weight, my clothes got loose and I didn’t want to buy a smaller size nor could I afford it. I decided to gain the weight back. In truth I’m at that point again. I lost weight unintentionally, found my clothes too big and have decided to grow back into them. Additionally I realized I like being fat. I see pictures of myself weighing less, and I don’t like how I look. I’m definitely past losing weight, and very much wanting to gain again.

Years ago, before I became conscious of liking fat guys (I’m gay) I worked with a fat Latino named Hector. He was a very sweet and polite soul. He used the “usted” form of address with me. I told him stop, I was no better than him, no need to be so formal. I really came to like him and even fantasized being with him. I still think of him and still fantasize. I think he was my first fat guy crush. Then I just started noticing other attractive fat guys and came to realize there were too many attractive fat guys in the world for there to be anything wrong with it. I decided I want to get fat like them.

A couple of times someone said something.

A former coworker I hadn’t seen in years told me I got chubby.
My sister once said “hey, what happened?”
My aunt, on two occasions remarked in front of others that I got tubby.

I was offended then but not anymore. I strike first. I have tee shirts that say Chubby Guys Cuddle Better; Living The Chubby Bearded Life; I Hate Being Sexy But I’m A Chubby Bearded Man So I Can’t Help It; If You’re Into Chubby Bearded Guys Then Hello.

I’m fat, I like being fat, I’m proud of being fat. Now if anyone says anything I shrug and say “Yeah, and...?” Puts them right off their guard. lol