Lovemylard:
I thought finding a fat fetishist was the way to go. Maybe then men would want me, I thought. At least I'd be desired and found physically sexy by some guy with a fetish. That's better than a guy finding me absolutely disgusting, WHICH APPARENTLY IS EVERY GUY!!
...Men only want beautiful women who would be beautiful at ANY weight, fat or thin. Men don't like a fat woman just because she's fat. He still needs her to have good genes. As a very ugly fat woman with an apple shaped body, I have nothing men want.
The problem isn't that fat fetishists don't exist... it's that they are fat *fetishists* and don't give a care about the person whose body is fat. They just want fat, fat first, feeding first, growing first, and prioritize that over everything else. It's always about the fat body, the fat look, the fat ness above all else. That a fat person has needs, desires, uniqueness all on their own doesn't even register to them, or is the very last thought if it does.
Fat fetishists are BY FAR the most fatphobic people I have ever met, and that is without exaggeration. Fatphobia is everywhere in society, even with the most progressive-minded folk out there. But there is something so deliberately cruel about the way fetishists wield it. They behave as though fat people should be *grateful* for the bits of attention they give us, that we should be *honored* they fantasize about us, then turn around and constantly tell us that we're still not good enough. Not fat enough, not well-shaped enough, not kinky enough, not demure enough, not ambitious enough, not obedient enough, never enough.
It's because there are so few people who will ever meet their fantasy... because it's a fantasy, and they don't know how to connect with *people* and how to *share* fantasies without being consumed by them. They are the insatiable gluttons at the end of the day.
It's not you. It's them. And I'm so sorry.
At the end of the day, most (yes, I said most and I stand by it) are ashamed of their kink and they take it out on the fat people whom they target. Just look at how often people come through here, wringing their hands about their fat kink and being so AFRAID someone might figure out "OH NO, I boink fat people!!" They have the nerve to come here and ask fat people how to get approval from thin ones—then only listen to the think folk here and scoff at the fat ones who offer their real advice.
They are very often cheating on thin partners and refuse to be seen with fat people. Given the number of accounts with no pics and no involvement in the community yet still claim to want real sincere connection, refuse to be seen BY fat people—because they do not see us *as* people. They never have.
I've been at FF for 15 years and in the overall community for nearly 20. I've made some great friends and lovely connections. I know there are sincere folks out there. But they are exceptionally rare. They make it worth sticking it out for, but it really is 99% that are the other part. I swear by now I have met every archetype of fat fetishist that could exist and I clock them all with freakish accuracy.
Everyone deserves to be seen and cared about for who they are, regardless. There's nothing wrong with you. It's not you. It really isn't. There *are* people here who do only seek a non-kink connection, but they are often silenced and pushed out by the others I mentioned above.
Your value as a person is wholly inalienable regardless how you have felt interacting with people here. I'm sorry they didn't see that in you. It's always their loss, not yours. Best of luck to you!
