Because you have to have the conversation with them about what the fetish is and it's your responsibility not to project it onto them, which isn't difficult at all.

If you don't know how to say "this turns my crank" without them feeling like *they* have to be the one to turn that crank, it is *absolutely* deep-seated fatphobia or at the very least insecurity because you aren't able to be vulnerable. You are not compatible with these people because you cannot be the partner they deserve that is open to them. Somewhere, you still have shame about it—not about being attracted to fat people but the way people would judge *you* for it—and that is definitely rooted in internalized fatphobia. Just as you would be hurt by someone withholding something like that regardless whether or not you'd judge them, you are doing the same.

It's so super gross when an FA comes in here and says something like "This is so hard-wired in me!" as if it isn't for anyone with any other kink on the planet. Like that's literally the point of having fetishes and kinks. I can't tell you how, as an actual fat person, that feels and sounds like coming from others who are not (though your profile doesn't indicate either way so my apologies if I'm mistaken). It reeks a lot of "I can't help myself and I'm not accountable for this" when you definitely are. You are accountable for BEING a good partner, which includes being authentic. This is easier on everyone in the long run, and that way your partners won't feel betrayed or lied to.

No one is forcing you to pursue relationships with people that you know are incompatible at the outset. That's a choice you make. And then you choose to maintain the facade with them. This is a tale as old as time—whether it's the scarcity mindset, the pressure for people to be partnered, or just lack of knowledge about how relationships work (sometimes all of the above!)

If you want to know more about *how* to have the conversation with them, some of what I have here may help you:

loradayton.com/2022/01/26/how-to-have-the-kink-talk-with-your-partner/

What's most important is figuring out what turns you on when it comes to submitting? What gets you into subspace? What about your dom? Go from there.

Here are a few things I have done that have worked well in remote feeding situations:

1) reporting my steps taken throughout the day
2) asking permission to do an activity
3) getting approval for an outfit
4) agreeing on rules/conduct when actively playing and engaging in fun times - this helps keep expectations clear, establish safewords, figuring out boundaries, and creating more fun and dynamic. For example there is one person I've worked with who had a rule that if he asked a certain question, I had to give the same response - it was a way of keeping me in that subspace and it's really effective!

It's REALLY important when doms and subs work together to have a strong idea of what is and isn't okay starting out, and safe communication for when those things change and how to ask for what we need (whether, more, less, or something new entirely). That will point you in the right direction better.

Miachu,

I don't want to go through the hassle of quoting etc etc so I'll just say a couple of things:

1) I'm sorry your partner is being a fatphobic *** to you; and

2) Relationships don't fail. They end. They end when one person is ready to grow or actively changing and the other isn't. Most relationships we have in life are not permanent and they're not supposed to be. Your body changes are not the cause of the relationship's end (if that happens). It's just a sign that he may not be ready for the kind of growth that you are. And you don't deserve to be abused for doing it.

Sure, go ahead

Not everyone has an appetite. There are plenty of people who simply don't enjoy eating or forget to. However it may be worth looking into another cause such as neurodivergence—people with ADHD for example often struggle with remembering to eat. You may also have nutritional deficiencies that suppress your appetite.

Munchies' tips above are also useful. Make do with what you've got. Make sure you are healthy first, then worry about gain. If you decide to consult with a professional, bear in mind that a "nutritionist" is not the same as a dietician. The latter are registered, certified professionals.

I'm annoyed also, but it has not been down for more than a day. It glitched at 10pm PDT at the reset. That is when it went down. It's currently 4:45PM PDT, so it's been down for awhile, but not more than a day yet.

It is however in their best interest to get it up and running ASAP, especially for paying members. FF isn't cheap and bluntly, it's unacceptable that *a week ago* it was acknowledged that the chat application was out of date and it was allowed to fall into disrepair.

It bugged out entirely at the reset last night. I'd noticed others mentioning the bugs during the week and I didn't have many of them at all, but yesterday it was pretty buggy for me and then right at the reset it just went poof.

it may seem counterintuitive but a bit of food may help. I've had some incredible results when bloating with after after having some rice and steamed broccoli. it wasn't deliberate, I just got into... shenanigans not long after having dinner.

yep, so then I have to go and look up their profile. and 83% of the time there is NO content.