chapter 1

I grew up in a small village in Oregon, always knowing the same people and everybody around judging you. My mum was the kind of women who always wanted me to be the perfect girl, thin, athletic, pretty, girly and for the most part it was not hard for me to keep up with the expectation, I had won a genetic lottery -as I like to call it- and my looks were pretty good, I had a nice nose, pretty green eyes and full lips. I had always done pretty good at school and I was liked by many people. I had always done swimming and running at school so I had always had an slim body. My butt had always been round, my stomach was flat and I had decent boobs. In high school guys were all over me, and not that it bothered me al all, it was just that they were not the kind of guys I like. During my senior year a new guy moved into town since his mum had married a men from around. I didn't know about him until I got to school that very first day of the year. I entered in class and right away noticed a new face in between all the old ones. He had green eyes and black hair, his skin was pale and he looked like he could have come form a vampires movie. He was odd, even by the way that he dressed you could see that he was new in town, he wore clothes that most people were going to judge in every possible way. And he was extremely hot. I sat close to were he was sitting, but not right next. I felt like he was looking at me, but I could not tell since I was trying not to look at him. After class I stood up and took my bag, it was then when I heard him say "oh hi", I turned and he was right there, looking at me with those eyes. After that hi we talked all the way to my next class, which was also his, we sat together and paid no attention to what the teacher was saying at all. He was nice, not the kind of nice that you think "he is okay", he was the kind of nice everybody likes, he was social, he was okay with every personality and seemed to like everybody. After some time, he was already friends with pretty much every body. He could hang out with the nerd ones, and 20 minutes later go to lunch with the most popular kids in the school.
Homecoming was around the corner and I was already dreaming about being ask by some guy to the dance. I was not expecting James to be that guy, but it would be amazing if he did.
One morning, I was going to class when I saw a lot of people gathering around something, it was then when I saw him. He was holding a poster which said "Eva, wanna be my home coming date?" and a bunch of flowers. It was not something spectacular, but it was good enough for me to turn red and smile like a kid. As you can imagine, I said yes. Long story short, we went to homecoming together and that was the night of hour first kiss. After some time dating I could totally tell that I was in love with him, and most people would say that he was in love with me too. He met my family, and of course, they loved him. I met his, and they seemed to like me too. Everything was perfect in our relationship. Time went by and we decided to go to the same college, this was great, because instead of renting dorms, we decided to rent a small apartment close to the uni. Years flew by and I kept playing sports and so did him. We were the typical couple you see coming out of the gym looking fit and happy. Right before we were done with college he asked me to marry him in a really romantic way, just the two of us in a beautiful restaurant. Of course I said yes. We said everything to each other and we were really meant to be.
The only secret I kept from him was a little fetish I had discovered recently. During my junior year of college I broke my leg and had to stay at home for a while. During those months I gained some weight, for the first time in my life. It was not much, about 20 pounds, and as soon as I could exercise again I lost it all and got my fit body back. But during that time that I was heavier I felt sexier than ever, I loved how my body looked and how my stomach was softer and rolled a bit when I sat. It was a pleasure that I only enjoyed for a short period of time, but that I was not going to forget easily.
As I was saying, we got married right after college, I remember wearing a beautiful tight dress that showed my back and accentuated my slim body. I also remember not feeling okay with how I looked. Even though everybody told me that I looked amazing, I felt bony and way too skinny.
It was after marriage when the fun started. we had been married for a year already when I decided to make my fantasies true. James was always having to travel for work. Sometimes he was gone for weeks because he was going to europe or to south america. During that time I was alone, I could not handle being home by my self. The more I was alone, the more I hated how I looked. I went to the gym trying to feel better but I always came out hating my body even more.
One morning I woke up and for the first time in months, decided not to go to the gym. I was going to pamper myself. I stood in bed for half an hour and later decided to get some breakfast. Instead of my usual smoothie I prepared pancakes, about 4. And then added some chocolate on top. It felt so good to eat something that was not green. I then spend the day watching tv and eating popcorn. Had lunch from Telepizza and dinner from McDonalds. Believe it or not, I had not had McDonald's since I was 16.That night James called. He was in Buenos Aires for the week. He asked about my day and that was the moment when all started. I could have said the truth, but I decided not to. Instead, I told him that as always, I had gone to the gym and then for a run in the evening. It was just for a day. He didn't have to know everything I was doing, and he was not going to notice anyway.