chapter 3

“Excellent!” the woman beams at you. “Thank you so much for your cooperation today!”

“You’re...you’re welcome,” you mutter nervously, trembling fingers back to gripping the steering wheel.

When the woman tries to reach inside the car again you quickly say, “Well gotta go, be seeing you!” and swiftly start—well, try to start the car...but nothing happens.

Uh-oh.

You try, and try, and try again, but nope, nothing; you figure it’s probably (finally) died.

All the while the woman has been watching this happen, saying nothing, until the moment you admit defeat and your hands drop to your lap. Then she speaks, concern you suspect is not fully sincere coating her voice.

“Oh no, what an awful thing to have happen on such a nice day...here, let me give you a ride.”

Your palms grow sweaty while your already overworked heart starts beating double time.

“Uh, no, that’s okay...I can mana—“

“Nonsense. What are you going to do, walk?” She scoffs. “I doubt that’s an activity you’re much fond of...and besides, it’s rather hot. All of your no doubt fattening groceries will melt by the time you reach home. Come on, my car is right over here.”

You try to resist. “No, really, it’s fine, I’ll be fine, I—“

Her eyes narrow. “Get out of the car, piggy.”

Something in her tone immediately causes you to hurriedly undo your straining seatbelt, unlock the car, and scramble out of the driver’s side door to stand next to the woman.

In your rush your shirt ended up getting bunched up, leaving a good amount of your massive belly exposed. Before you can pull it back down the woman, jovial expression returned, reaches down and gives it a few friendly pats...and then a rough shake. You’re mortified by the many rolls of fat jiggling away, while she watches with delight, letting out a chuckle.

“I’ve never seen such a delicious ly juicy belly before, you should be proud,” she says to you. You give her a sheepish nod in return.

When she turns her attention from your obesity to the trunk of your car, you quickly wrench your wrinkled shirt down as far as it will go, which is not that far.