Chapter 1: the observer

I began posting those chapters on writing.com, however that site provides little opportunity for feedback and I most definitely could use some constructive criticism. I could use information what can be improved or if I should even continue to write that drivel. ;-)

Please bear in mind that it is my first attempt on writing and English is not my native tongue.

The idea of initial setting - ThatOneGuy101 from writing.com. The first chapter is heavily inspired by his work.

https://www.writing.com/main/interact ive-story/item_id/1906246-Mass-Effect-Female-Weigh t-Gain-Redux/map/1232

***



Nothing added up.

Liara had been tracking down records and traces about The Observer, an agent of the Shadow Broker, for months. Hacking terminals, tracing logs, even narrowing the list to 5 species, thanks to the information Nyxeris gave her.

Since establishing herself as an information broker on Ilium, she was spied on by various individuals. Yet none of them was potentially as dangerous as The Observer. He or She was a direct subordinate of most powerful information broker in the galaxy, broker she was currently trying to track down and get revenge on. Which given him ample reason to eliminate her.

Liara had located dozens of potential suspects, subjecting them to various means of investigations, interrogations and bribery but none of them had been The Observer or had information about him. She hated to admit it, but she was getting nowhere, and she desperately needed to rest.

“Liara? Are you alright?” Her assistant, Nyxeris asked with worry in her voice.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Liara stated, although it was far from the truth.

"I doubt it ma'am" retorted older asari with a shake of her head.

"Do you have problems with your hearing Nyxeris? I said I’m fine" snapped Liara, but then closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths.

“I'm sorry I have been awake for over 40 hours, but I’m not any closer to finding The Observer than I was before. I’m going to get some sleep I can, call me if you find anything”

“Of course ma'am” Nyxeris bower her head.

“Thank you, Nyxeris have a good afternoon,” Liara said as she exited her office and began driving to her apartment. She walked in and despite her state quickly checked her security devices. When she made sure everything was in order she took a quick shower and immediately went to bed. Sleep took her immediately but didn't free her from The Observer. He tormented her in dreams where he captured and torturing her, subjecting her to all sorts of horrors.

Liara awoke in a cold sweat.

/Goddess... that was awful/. Fortunately, the experience of being put thought meatgrinder wasn’t real. She sat on the bed and looked at the clock - 6:30, the world outside was still dark, save for multiple lights from windows and cars. She did not even manage a full night’s sleep, because of her fear, but she was sure she would not be able to fall asleep again.

She took a cold shower and put a fresh dress and slowly began performing her morning routine. Liara was about to head out, but her doorbell rang before she could. Liara was more than cautious while on Illium, she was borderline paranoid. Anybody could have just rung her doorbell, starting with ordinary thieves, ending with Reapers puppets and Shadow Broker operatives. She readied biotics and a pistol, before checking the camera outside. She was surprised to see...

***

Note: If you bother to read this poor attempt at fic, be aware that on the sites written on my account it's also posted and with much better editing. Because as much as I like FF, editing here is atrocious.