chapter 2

When I moved to Colorado for my first job after college, I clicked with a fun group who were very different than my high school and college friends. They were more of the “let-you-freak-flag-fly" type.

During a drinking game at a house party, people were goaded into disclosing either their weirdest phobia or their strangest fantasy. An introverted guy who went before me stumbled words out about loving to suck feet. People laughed a bit, but patted him on the back with encouragement. “You go for it, mate…” a British girl exclaimed. “Plenty of girls would be into that. Just find the right dating site.”

When my turn was up, I surprised myself by saying, “I like curvy girls…”

“What does that mean?” A new friend Martin asked. “You like girls with big asses? Or…”

“Fair enough,” I said. “I’ll put it more bluntly - I like fat girls. I’m a chubby chaser, as they say…”

I began sweating and time slowed down as I searched the room for reactions. I had never said this out loud before. My heart felt crushing in my chest - thump, thump thump.

“I never would have pegged you for the type!” Martin laughed. “You seem pretty straight-laced.”

“I think it’s cute!” A friendly nurse named Amanda said. “Some guys would be too chicken-shit to admit something like that.”

A thin girl named Amber rolled her eyes and walked out of the room. Several people had hinted that she had a crush on me. 

The game moved on and I felt relief. Sweet relief. No one seemed to think much of what I said. They had only known me for a few months, so my identity was malleable. Now I was the guy who liked fat chicks. They knew me as nothing else but this.

…

When we went out to bars, people nudged me and pointed out when cute chubby chicks were eyeing me. “I think she’s into you, man.” Martin or Joe would say. Not in a teasing way, but in the way that friends do for any attractive girl.

I grew more comfortable. I felt good.

Amy set me up with a few of her friends. A lot of her nurse friends ranged from chubby to obese, so her blind date pool was quite large (sorry, not-sorry, for the terrible pun).

The first two dates were fun and sexually thrilling, but our personalities didn’t click. The first was a brunette from Tampa. She talked a lot about clothes and jewelry and how one day she hoped to own a mansion back in Florida. The second was a blond who grew up in Colorado. She was gorgeous - with brooding eyes and a figure that made it hard not to stare. Medium-to-large sized breasts that were perfectly formed, a belly that dwarfed them by jutting forward massively and curving over her lap heavily when she sat. A huge ass and thighs. I guessed that she was at least 250 pounds.

She was quiet, not giving me much to continue the conversation with. After the date, we went back to her place and I couldn’t keep my hands off her, my sexual attraction reaching fever pitch as my hands touched soft fat flesh for the first time. It was better than I could have imagined, my hands wandering up under her shirt and sinking into her soft stomach. Her flesh was moist and doughy, her belly molding to the contours of my grip as I massaged it. God, I wanted her. This what desire felt like.

After an hour, she said that it was late and that she had to work in the morning. I tried to text her the next day but she didn’t respond.

Amy told me that her friend didn’t feel comfortable with me. That I intimidated her and that she thought that a guy as good looking as me who was interested in someone like her must have something wrong with him.

“I know… I know…” Amy said. “That’s ridiculous and self-sabotaging on so many levels.”

I had no interest in dating someone with self-esteem issues, so I let it go.

When Amy suggested a third blind date, I was hesitant. 

“Look, I really appreciate this, but maybe I just need to find someone naturally.” I said.

“I really think you’ll like this one,” she said. “She’s stunning. I’m not exaggerating. She’s chubby for sure, but she’s so hot that a lot of guys at work are into her that don’t even normally like ‘plus-sized’ girls. And she’s funny, really funny. She’s loyal, and caring. Just give her a chance.”

Amber walked over. It was clear that she was still jealous and weirded out by this whole situation.

“Do you mean Megan?” she asked.

“Yes, Megan.” Anna said.

“Matt, you don’t want any of that, trust me!” Amber said.

“What the hell are you talking about, Amber.” Anna said. “Mind your own business.”

“What do you mean?” I asked Amber.

“This girl… She’s always going on about how hard it is to diet and eat so little. Meanwhile, I always see her eating pizza and burgers. Clearly it’s not that hard if you aren’t even trying. And, I swear, she’s trying to scam some man into being with her. When we were drunk one night she said she can’t wait until she settles down with a man and can ‘let herself go.’ She was eating a huge plate of drunk munchie cheese fries as she said that! If this is her idea of restraint and dieting,I don’t even want to know what ‘letting herself go’ would look like. I know you like chubby girls and all, Matt. But this girl is gonna trick some guy into marrying her and blow up to be fatter than a whale not long after. Mark my words. I don’t want to sound harsh or mean. But it’s not fair that Anna would try to set you two up without giving you the full scoop.”

“Amber!” Anna shouted. “What is wrong with you? It’s not like you to be such a jerk like this!”

“Well am I wrong?” Amber said. “You’ve seen how she eats. Didn’t you tell me that at work she always brings doughnuts for the whole ward. And that she’s trying to seem nice by sharing with everyone, but really it’s just an excuse to eat doughnuts everyday? You’ve heard her say that she can’t wait to let herself go when she finds the right man. We’ve all heard it! She’s said it on multiple occasions as if she’s joking. But we all know that there’s not joke about it… Clearly this idea is on her mind, why would she bringing it up so much. Plus, if she’s so great, Anna, why didn’t you set her and Matt up first instead of after two other failed attempts at match-making.”

Anna hesitated. “She’s such a nice girl, Matt. Sure... she might struggle with dieting… But if you like curvy girls, you might be a good match.”

“Whoa… whoa… whoa…” I said. “This all got way too serious all of a sudden. I haven’t even met the girl yet.”

I pulled myself under the table to try to hide my erection.

Was she really this food crazy? I tried to calm myself down. As I saw on my last two dates, we might not even click. But I couldn’t deny that I was intrigued with the images of gluttony that Amber conjured in my imagination.

“Why don’t you give me her number, Anna. I’m always open to meeting new people.”

Anna smiled from ear to ear and Amber sighed and sulked away. “Don’t say I din’t warn you,” she said.