Chapter 1 new schoolThe point of view character in this story may change between any two paragraphs, when this happens it will be indicated by a separate paragraph with only the POV character's name, like this.
August 27, 2020
My first day of college was tomorrow! I had even gotten a full tuition scholarship to the college down the way. No surprise there, I am alpha as fuck. I get straight A's, I am on the cheer team, and I play the flute. Hell, I even speak some Spanish (not quite fluent, but hell, some anyway). As I went to bed all I could think was how bright the future looked. Like, so bright it hurt to look at it too closely. I was the prettiest girl at my high school too! I have a figure to die for, I am 5’8” with red hair that curled ever so slightly, so it had a wavy look. I had an hourglass figure that made all the guys want me and all the girls jealous. Well, I’m assuming all the boys want me, nobody even half decent had asked me out yet, they must be intimidated.
But I had one major secret. I had. . . Wants. Desires I kept secret from everybody. Even my parents didn’t know, and they were both the “follow your heart, be whatever you want, however you want to. I’d be proud of you if you were a janitor, as long as you were happy.” Types. I was still so embarrassed and ashamed that I would never tell anybody. Hell, I didn’t even let it show on my computer’s search history. I’d always look for my. . . Materials in incognito mode, I’d often erase my search history after too, just to be positive that nobody would see. I liked watching fat girls, like, REALLY fat one’s, over three hundred pounds at least. I didn’t look up girls because I was a lesbian. Hell, to be honest I wasn’t even sure I liked guys all that much, forget girls. I had no desire to be with them. I wanted to be them. The idea of letting go of perfection and embracing my desire and pleasure was exhilarating, and the thought of having a belly that pushed out beyond my chest made me want to do things. I’d had some dreams about getting so fat that when I sat down on my bed my stomach pushed forward past my knees. But that wasn’t the part that scared me. I often woke up with the words on my tongue, “That would be a great start.” Or the like. I had spent days in school daydreaming, with nothing but these dreams of fat on my mind. But no, they were only dreams. Idle thoughts and fantasy, nothing more. I always felt weirdly ashamed and guilty after having one or fantasizing about it. Like even the thought was taboo.
Anyway, back to reality, back to college. I had signed up for a mostly standard set of classes for my first semester, with one exception. I took a class on sex and sexuality, it was counted as psychology for the purposes of the school’s degree tracks, but I was really taking it because it was risqué. No way in hell they would have had this class at my old high school. Hell, I suspect the principal would have done away with sex ed if he could have. Regardless, the sexuality course was my first class come morning, so I had better get some sleep tonight. I laid down in the bed I had gotten in my new dorm room within easy walking distance of my class and fell asleep almost instantly.
In my dream I was making fun of Candy, an extremely fat classmate I had in high school. I swear, the girl must weigh at least twice as much as me, she was the exact opposite of me. She was a walking ball of fat with greasy skin and no friends. Well, we had one thing in common, our grades were nearly identical, we both got straight A’s. Well, the girl had to have SOMETHING going for her anyway. In my dream I was telling the pudgy girl that she should lay off on her name’s sake if she wanted to join the cheer team. This had happened in real life the day after her tryout ended in disaster for her. She fell over. Repeatedly. Combined with her appearance this lead to the entire cheer team making fun of her until she ran away in tears. We were scolded by a teacher, but no further actions were taken against us. In hindsight I felt kind of guilty. Not a lot, but noticeably. Strangely enough, the guilt wasn’t about how I had hurt Candy. It was because, in a way, I wanted to be like her. Not greasy or with acne, but free. Fat. Able to do what I want and eat what I want. That thought had always made me feel guilty.
But the dream ended differently than the actual day had. In the dream I had stood up to the cheer team, defended Candy, and been kicked off of the cheer squad for it. In the dream I had left with Candy, and we cried together while eating ice cream. A lot of ice cream. We ate and ate and ate. Gallons of the stuff went into my mouth and stomach. When the dream ended I was as fat as Candy.
I woke up with a start. My heart was beating faster than I could remember. I felt like I had been sprinting for a mile straight. I rolled over in bed and looked out the window to see it was light out. The clock tells me 7:24. As my class was at 8:00 I wouldn’t really have enough time to sleep more, so I decided to just get up and get ready. It’s probably good to be early on the first day of school anyway. It’s a good chance to meet new people.
I decided to have a bowl of cereal for breakfast. I would skip breakfast more often than not, but I had plenty of time and not much else to do, so whatever. As I poured my dream came back to my mind again, and I felt a strong craving for ice cream. “Why would that make me want ice cream so damn badly?” I said to myself as I poured skim milk over my cereal. A bowl of Golean plus, it was a light and healthy way to start the day. Though I wished it was rocky road with each bite I took. Well, not each and every bite. Sometimes I wished it was Reese’s or Oreo ice cream instead. After I finished eating I still felt hungry, which is weird because I usually don’t have any breakfast at all. But whatever.
First day of school. I would normally be excited but I was feeling down since my girlfriend, Candy, dumped me. We had gotten together senior year of high school and everything went well, until about a week ago, when I confessed my secret kink to her. I can’t help but replay the conversation in my mind. Candy had gained a bit of weight and was very upset. “I want to lose all this fucking fat. Not get more of it!” she said, holding her stomach in hand. I said “I still think you look beautiful.” To her. Candy thought that I was lying to be nice to her. After twenty minutes of back and forth in which she wailed like her entire family had just died I just out and said it. “Candy! You know I love your body. Hell, if anything I would like it if you put on more weight.” Candy gave me a cock eyed look and said “What do you mean exactly?” so I decided to just come out and say it. “What? You thought it was just happenstance that I asked you out to prom even though the whole football team made fun of me for it? Don’t get me wrong. I’ve come to know you better since we got together, and I have other reasons to like you now. But I think your sexy as hell, rolls and all.” Candy said “You like fat girls?” like it was completely unthinkable that anybody would. I nodded, muttering "The fatter the better." and she continued, “So what, you wouldn’t think I looked good anymore if I lost the weight? You know, if I succeeded at the thing I’ve been trying to do since before we met.” I smiled sheepishly and said “Maybe? I just took it ad one of those ‘We’ll cross that bridge when we get there’ types of things.” She glared at me and said “So you’re rooting for my diets all to fail?” I didn’t say anything, I knew a “yes” would only piss her off more. But it was honestly true. Candy stormed off after that, and dumped me via text message, saying I was bad for her health.
But today was a new day, at a new school. Hell, even my first class was on sex and sexuality. Maybe it would be a good place to meet a girl. Maybe someone more open minded, who would be okay with me as I am. I got to class early that day, and found one other student who was there early. She looked familiar and I couldn’t help but stare. “Uh oh.” I muttered quietly when she noticed me staring and walked up to me. I must look like a creep, not a good first impression. But as she walked across the room to me I realized where I had seen her. “Kelly right?” she smiled and nodded before saying “and you’re Carlos right?” I laughed “Carl actually, but you’re close. Looks like we’re the first two here. We spent the rest of the time before class talking about random things. Shows, books, movies, school and plans for the future. Just random chatter. Kelly had a fun and bubbly personality, and she was cute, if a bit too thin for my tastes. But whatever, even if things don’t go that way it’s nice to make friends.
The first day of class went normally more or less. The professor handed out the syllabus and we went over a general overview of what was to be expected in the class. Nothing unusual. I ended up talking with Kelly for nearly an hour after class. When I went home I had an odd thought, maybe the class would bring out something in both of us, maybe we would end up falling for one another. Maybe. . . I shook my head. Just a fantasy, and a weird one at that.
I went home after my first class thinking about this Carl guy. He was exactly my type, he was tall, muscular, athletic, and in shape. Most importantly he had a good personality. I felt like I could talk with him for hours and never get tired of doing so. My school week went more or less normally. It was pretty simple, just professors getting us into our classes to get ready for the future. But I kept having dreams every night that week. I felt weirdly ashamed and guilty about a lot of them. They were about Carl, but never really focused on the usual relationship type stuff. No, these dreams were like the one I had the night before school started, but with Carl instead of Candy. We always ended up finding a way to be alone together, and I always ended up eating a metric ton of something or other. The whole time I ate Carl would fawn over my body and how much he loved how fat I was getting. He would even try to convince me to eat more and get fatter. That’s silly though. Nobody liked fat girls, let alone wanted them to get fatter. At least nobody I had ever met did. But in my dream Carl would encourage me, would drive me forward. He kept asking me to gain weight and cheering on whatever I did put on, burying me in praise and adulation for each pound. Whenever I had such a dream I would wake up soaking in sweat, and absolutely ravenous, not just for food, though definitely that too. I had never felt hornier in my life then when I woke up from those dreams. Fitting for dreams about a guy I’d met in a sex and sexuality course I guess.
Over the course of the week I ate far more than usual, waking up from dreams of Carl feeding me I had to eat something. No, I HAD TO EAT. I used to skip breakfast almost every day, but I had to bug more cereal that week, the store was out of my usual, but had all of the junk food type options. I ended up with a box of cocoa puffs.
Then came Monday morning, time for my second day of my first class. In it our professor began the first normal lecture. In it he spoke about fetishes primarily. He talked about how common they were, how most people have at least one, and how they were a normal, healthy part of human sexuality, so long as they don’t cause any real harm. “Safe, sane, and consensual” was a common statement in the communities formed around these things. At the end our class the professor said something that made sense, and sounded right, but FELT wrong. He said that we should all be honest with ourselves about our own desires, and that excessive denial may actually be the beginning of a mental disorder when aimed at one’s self.
The entire time he spoke I couldn’t stop thinking of my own situation. My dreams, my thoughts, my subdued desires, and strangely enough, about Carl. Did he have a hidden fetish of his own? Did everyone? Maybe it wasn’t even “most” people who had a fetish, maybe it was everyone. Maybe some people were just in denial and able to hide and suppress their desire from everyone, themselves and others. Or maybe some people were just completely vanilla, I don’t know and will not pretend to.
At the end of class our professor assigned us reading and I met with Carl again. We spoke for what felt like ten minutes, but the clock indicated was actually several hours. It’s a good thing I only had one class on Monday mornings, I would have missed whatever came next. I didn’t even think about the time until much later. We ended up talking about our other classes and beliefs for most of that time, then at the end of our conversation we ended up talking about the class we had met in.
Carl said “So, do you have any fetishes yourself?” I laughed and held up a hand saying “I plead the fifth.” In a jokingly somber and serious voice. Carl laughed and said “Well, I do.” I blushed slightly and asked him what it was.
Why the hell did I let that slip? I should have kept my damned mouth shut. Look, now she’s blushing, she’s probably already embarrassed and she hasn’t even said anything. I said “Uumm, well. No details, but it’s a common one as far as I know.” Kelly just continued to look at me, so I kept talking as I fidgeted nervously, “Hey, don’t look at me like that. It’s not like it’s something terrible, I’m not into pedophilia or snuff films or the like.” And Kelly started laughing as she said “It’s fine, no judgments.”
I had no idea what to tell her, I swear I had a cartoon angel and devil on my shoulders. The devil said “But don’t you want to feed her, stick her, and make her squeal like a pig? Don’t you want to know she’ll spend every day getting fatter than the day before?” followed by the angel saying it’s own little speech. “Don’t be such a horndog. You know there is more to sex than fetishes, and there is more to a relationship than sex. Treat her with caring respect, and if it is meant to be, than it shall be.
I literally shook my head to see Kelly with the most concerned look on her face. I said “Here, just forget about it for now.” Then swallowed as I gathered my courage to say something I’d wanted to all week. It was not the best time, but now or never. I need to ask her out before I lose my nerve. So I said “On another note, would you like to go out to get some ice cream? There’s a nice little stall outside the student center. Kelly shot me an excited grin as she nodded.
College Fiction Feeding/Stuffing Sexual acts/Love making Addictive Denying Enthusiastic Resistant Romantic Female Straight Weight gain Wife/Husband/Girlfriend First person X-rated
22 chapters, created 1 month , updated 3 weeks
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