Once fat, always fat

Chapter 2

Alas, he now got up from the table not exactly hungry, but not full enough to feel that same feeling of complete satisfaction.

And he began to take bites at every opportunity, preferably when no one was looking, to fill the belly. More and more, until finally the stomach becomes heavy and tightly filled, so tightly that he can’t even suck it in, even he you wanted to.

He remembers well the relief with which he finally relaxed after eating deeply. He then felt sleepy, and was dozed off in front of the TV or simply daydreamed, stroking his swollen belly. This became an urgent necessity, because he did not know when the next time he would be able to get enough to eat.

So he need to cram as much food into his stomach as possible so that the delicious feeling of fullness lasts longer. And he began to overeat, actually forcefully stuffing more food into himself than he physically could fit. Everything he could reach and then miss. More and more, and only when his belly became tight as a drum and hurt terribly, he had to stop. The pain in an overfilled stomach, forced to cope with ever-increasing amounts of food eaten, began to mix with the much-desired sensations of comfort and relief.

Now he needed both, what triggered him to eat more and more food. And abdominal massage became an important part of his personal secret ritual. When he, exhaustedly lounging on the bed, puffed from pain and gluttony in his stomach, he felt swollen like a mountain. The more he secretly stuffed his belly, the fatter he became, which satisfied his girlfriend Keren.

Back then, the more fat he got, the more his parents criticised him, so disappointed with their own overfed son, or rather, with his inability to lose weight. One day he was taken to the doctor. Whenever he wonders when he began to associate arousal with her fat belly, this particular episode comes to mind. He was about twelve years old at the time, but had a bigger belly than many adults. He didn’t want to see a doctor, but when he entered the office, everything instantly changed. The male doctor turned out to be very handsome. Young, thick wavy hair and wise brown eyes. A minute, and he already fell in love with him, as only twelve-year-old girls can. He wants to please him and sucks in his belly. Fortunately, his mother decided not to be present during all this action. He conducts a routine examination, accompanied by light conversation, making him feel special.

And then... this happens.
“Wow, what a big belly you have.”
He will never forget these words. A handsome doctor with wise eyes puts his palm on his belly and seems to burn a hole. Does his fingers seem to be trembling?

“Do you like to eat?” — He turns tomato red. — “Did you eat something before you came here?”

He was already blushing to a crimson shade. Well, why, why did he gobble up a whole package of his “reserve supplies” before the medical examination! But he was nervous, and a full stomach always calms her down...

“Yes, I see, your stomach is full,” he continues to probe his belly with gentle movements, palpating the internal organs. Sometimes you have to press quite hard, because the layer of fat is quite large, a couple of times he squeaks a little... Now he remembers that he also stroked his belly, and not only pressed, but he probably fantasized about it herself...

Then, having said—“that’s it, it’s over, get up”—he pats him lightly on the belly, and he completely goes into prostration, some pieces of the conversation between the handsome doctor and the worried mother remain in him memory: “... obesity, but not yet in an extreme stage... dieting... too fat for a boy his age... health risks... losing weight, and now..."

On the way home, and many, many days after that, he remembers only his palm on his fat belly, and his quiet voice, affectionately noting how thick and full it is, and his beautiful gaze, riveted on him, and his fingers touching the soft flesh on his belly and plump sides... And when he strokes his belly, he imagines that it is his palms, his touch, he blushes just thinking about it. And what a shame: the doctor saw in every detail how overfed he was and admiration – all this merges together. And from then on, he was torn by hatred of his own fat body, the desire to become slim - and slight excitement mixed with shame at the next harsh comment; excitement from a belly that’s too full; the desire to eat, eat and eat in order to feel a new wave of excitement.

Over the course of several years, he dealt with his passions, brought his body into a shape that his parents and others considered acceptable, and indulged in gluttony very occasionally, usually only after drinking too much. But lately this has not been the case.

Oh no, not like that at all. He has to rely on sidelong glances and snide remarks from strangers as he strolls around with his swollen belly on display to get that very spice he craves, which he can’t help but have by gluttony alone.

But, now, with his girlfriend Keren, by his side, he knew he is going to be obese again...