chapter 1

I first met Emma at her work. My company sent me to a modern downtown office building to set up a new database system. If I weren't playing that stupid D&D game until 5 a.m., I might have had the time to google that Bloom & Young was not a drab law firm full of old men in suits as I assumed, but a talent agency swarming with stunning young girls and threateningly well-groomed young men.

By the time the elevator doors opened on the 6th floor, it was too late for me to run away.

So there I was, unshaved, in my wrinkled faded Atari shirt and jeans that had seen better days, standing in the middle of some office, holding a paper coffee cup, trying desperately not to stare at the cute girl’s legs in her twirly miniskirt while she patiently waited for me to finally say something.

Interestingly, Emma, as she introduced herself with a beautiful smile, seemed quite entertained by my awkwardness and stupid hair, even pretending to laugh at my jokes. I assumed, she was simply that good at her job. When I was about to leave after two hours, she touched my arm and asked if I would like to see her again that evening.

She told me later that night, naked in my bed, that she did it because she thought I would never ask her out. She was right of course. I wasn't shy, I just knew my chances with a girl like her. It was the first time in my life that being wrong tasted so good.

During the first few weeks of our dating, I was expecting some sort of catch. That a camera crew would jump from behind a bush, with some jerk pointing at me, "And this idiot thought girls like Emma dated guys like him. Please subscribe to be notified when a video of her laughing in his face is available."

However, the weeks turned into months and nothing strange happened. I was in love and it looked like she was in love too. Sometimes it was slightly awkward to meet her obnoxious coworkers from the agency and seeing in their eyes the unspoken question 'What the hell does she see in him?'. But other than that, things were great. In my mind, at least.

And just like that, after dating for nearly a year, one night, without any warning she just told me with tears in her eyes that it wasn't me, that it was her and that she had met someone at work and that we could still be friends and she still really, really loved me, but…

I've broken up with girls before, but not like this. Yes, Emma was a total head-turner, but she was also an amazing girl. For the next six months, I would wake up, go to work, then back home, and then to bed. And at every step, a piece of me was missing. Being heartbroken seriously sucked. It made me wonder if some of the girls I broke up with before felt this way. I wished I could apologize deeply if they did.

If there was no more to this story, it would have all the hallmarks of a perfectly acceptable and perfectly boring romance, that has been told a million times before. A boy falls in love, a girl dumps him, and the boy thinks the world has ended. Even I have read better-written stories, and I don't normally read such drivel like this.

But then, about a year after we broke up something unexpected happened.

I was in the Quay Market, looking for a place to sit, balancing a tray with a bowl of Roasted Garlic Sweet Potato Soup when I heard an unmistakable voice behind me.

"Josh?"

I must have spilled half of my soup as my heart leaped out of my pants, or wherever I was keeping it since our breakup. I thought I was finally free and cured after months of walking like a zombie, where every song, every sunset, and everything and everyone reminded me of Emma. And now, a single word slapped me in the face like a wet towel and sent me right back where I started.
Sadly there were not many places in my view to duck and hide. I could pretend I hadn’t heard anything and just flee the scene but sadly my legs turned into concrete slabs.

I capitulated, sighed, and turned around to face the music. There was a large girl dressed in such tight clothes that I briefly feared for her, mine, and everyone else's safety. But Emma was nowhere in sight. After looking around confused, I turned back to the girl. No way! Just no way! The same heart-stopping smile. That can't be right.
The big girl blinked.

The girl was Emma, of course, but she was easily twice as big as I remembered. Her face was now chubby with a double chin. The old Emma had quite large breasts for her slim frame, but this new, double-sized Emma had two big watermelons that were about to tear her white shirt apart.

Her fat belly was packed in a short black skirt, way too tight, way too short, and way too provocative for a girl of her size. Two thick legs peeked from the bottom of the skirt, thick and wide, touching all the way to her chubby knees. Her toes wiggled in the black sandals. I wondered how big girls can paint their toenails if they can't see their toes.

I opened my mouth, looking for words. But what do you say to a former girlfriend who broke your heart and then just doubled her size within a year? ‘Hey you look different, did you do something with your hair?’
So I said nothing.
Two little dimples formed on her cheeks as she smiled. I used to kiss those dimples.

“Who do we have here?" a thin perky blonde appeared out of nowhere behind Emma, wearing a similar black skirt and a bright yellow shirt. If she wanted, she could easily hide behind Emma, she was half her size.

"Is that your ex-boyfriend?" The new girl said. "Josh, if I remember correctly.” She put her hand on Emma's large belly, hugging her from behind and stroking her gently, but still staring at me with her blue eyes.
“You're right, he is cute with all that awkwardness," she said. Then she shifted her eyes to Emma. "Hey buttercup, I bought you the cake you love so much." She pulled herself closer to her.
As Emma turned her head, the girl kissed her on the lips in a more than family-friendly manner.
Emma closed her eyes, obviously indulging the kiss before pulling away as if she suddenly remembered that I was still there, staring at them like a freshly minted fool.

"This is Tanya, my — girlfriend," she said. "We used to work together at Bloom."

"Feel free to close your mouth, Josh," Tanya said with a smile.

When it rains it pours. Suddenly, an echo of a conversation from a year ago flashed in my head. 'I met someone at work.'
Back then, I was so jealous of that "someone". It nearly drove me insane imagining a handsome tall guy, much stronger and taller than me, with wide shoulders and actual abs, making love to Emma every night.
I looked at Tanya then at Emma and I suddenly felt completely relieved. So it wasn't me. I started laughing.
Tanya grimaced as well.

"What's so funny, you two?"

"Maybe you should have told him you were leaving him for a girl,” Tanya explained. "You could have saved this boy's ego."

"Ah," Emma said. "I am sorry, Josh," She lowered her eyes looking at her feet. Or at least where her feet would be if her belly didn't completely block the view. And I knew who was painting those toenails.

Tanya's face lit up, “How about we invite Josh over to our place today?"

Emma’s chubby face suddenly looked a bit panicked. "Are you sure -- ?" she mouthed.

"You told me he is a nice guy," Tanya said, "I'm sure he'd be interested in what you've been up to last year." She gestured around Emma's large body.

"Oh," Emma said again with more joy in her voice. "I guess I owe you an explanation, Josh."

"It would be great if we can just sit down and talk like adults," Tanya said, then she placed her hand around her mouth, pretending to whisper, "And you said you really liked his cock in -"

"Shush!" Emma said with horror in her eyes. "I didn't say that!"

"Right. I am sorry, buttercup." Tanya patted Emma's belly. "It was obviously someone's else cock you liked in your - "

"Stop it," Emma started laughing, her big belly bouncing up and down as she tried to hit Tanya with her chubby arm. “Josh, I am sorry about her, but she is right. It would be nice to talk to you after all that time."

"Sure," I finally said my first word. "What should I bring?"

"You are looking at this super sexy girl, bursting out of her clothes and you still have no clue?" Tanya said, shaking her head in disbelief. "We have a lot to teach you. Bring food. Pizza would be great, at least two large ones for your ex. She's got a bit of appetite."

As a sign that the deal was sealed, she gently squeezed Emma’s wide butt. Emma giggled.