Chapter 1

November 4th, 2022

My name is Brooke, I'm 22 years old and I'll be honest I really dont have a life. My parents pay for my rent and my food since I promised them I would get a job or go to school but, I have been severely depressed for a long time now and its really held me back. I just haven't really seen a point of life and by extension I haven't seen a point to taking care of myself. I rarely shower or shave, hell my toothbrush that I've had for 4 months still looks brand new. I'm having a hard time sleeping and I just have no appetite anymore. With all this in mind one day I decided I should see a therapist in order get some help, I just want to live my life again, I want to have fun and be able to do the things I enjoy. When I told my therapist my situation she recommended I take anti-depressants and tell her how I feel. She wrote me a prescription and I was off to the pharmacy. I picked up my prescription for Paroxetine. The pharmacist gave me a rundown of all the possible side effects of the medication and what-not. Nothing out the ordinary, just things like; weakness, headaches, dizziness, weight loss or gain, gas, ECT. I honestly couldn't care less about the side effects I just hope they'd work.

November 5th, 2022

I woke up and took my prescription hoping they would work and that I wasn't just wasting my time but I guess only time will tell. I went through my day and didn't notice any changes which was expected since the pharmacist said they may take a couple weeks to work.

November 12th, 2022

I woke up at noon as I do every morning but this day was different. I felt decent today, I didn't feel so depressed and hopeless although the feeling was still there. I was very excited as this may be the start of the medication working for me.

November 16th, 2022
I awoke once again at noon but today I felt great, I didn't feel like life was pointless, I didn't feel like I had no reason to live, and because of this feeling I felt happy... and hungry. Now I'm not a very big girl at 5'2" 110 pounds especially since I really haven't been eating much since I've been feeling depressed but today was different, I felt like I hadn't eaten in years. I got out of bed and immediately got in my car and headed toward my local grocery store. On the way I noticed a dairy queen, my favorite fast food place. I hadn't eaten there in over half a year and with that in mind I headed toward the drive through. I ordered myself a chicken strip basket with large fries and ranch as dipping sauce. Since I was so hungry I opted to get myself a large oreo blizzard as well. I paid for my food and parked in the parking lot to eat. When I tell you that I haven't felt so good eating food in my life I mean it. I ate my meal like it was the last meal I was ever going to have. Within 4 minutes of parking it was gone, every strip, fry and bit of ice cream inside my little tummy, well except for a little bit of ice cream that landed on my crop top. With my breakfast eaten and my stomach sated for now I pressed on toward the grocery store. As I entered the store I was greeted by the sweet smell of fresh baked goods. I wheeled my shopping cart into the bakery and felt like a kid in a candy shop. With my new found appetite I couldn't help myself but to grab all the sweets I could dream of. I loaded my cart with chocolate chip cookies, double chocolate muffins, glazed donuts, cheese buns and a cinnamon coffee cake. When I felt like I had what I needed I moved on further into the store, I entered the snack isle and was greeted by a massive variety of chips, candy, chocolates and sodas. I began searching through the chips and settled on 4 bags of chips, one bag of nacho cheese doritos, one bag of lays barbecue, one bag of ruffles sour cream and one bag of cheeto puffs. This sort of selection continued as I looked toward the candy, chocolate and soda section respectively. By the time I was done in the snack isle my cart was full so I headed to the till, paid for my food and drove home. On the way home I passed a McDonald's, normally I would not have been hungry given I ate a full meal just over an hour ago, but for some reason I felt famished once again. I stopped at McDonald's and got 20 nuggets, large fries and a large sprite to take home. When I returned home I immediately sat down at my desk and ate all the food I got from McDonald's while watching a livestream. After my food I still felt hungry so I got myself a bag of chips and a box of chocolate chip cookies. I resumed my feast and finished both my snacks and let out a small burp before I began playing some video games. Not 45 minutes later I was hungry yet again, so being happy that I just have an appetite again I headed to the kitchen and returned to my desk with a bag of M&M's, half of my coffee cake and a big bottle of mountain dew. I continued to play games as I ate and was finished all my food, and half of my mountain dew by the time dinner time rolled around. Given that it was dinner time and that I didn't actually buy any real food at the grocery store I decided to order myself food. I opted to order a large stuffed crust pepperoni pizza from pizza hut. While I waited for my food to arrive I returned to the kitchen once again and grabbed myself my doritos. I snacked on my doritos for 25 minutes before my pizza arrived, I say snacked but in reality I ate the whole bag. I grabbed my pizza and began to eat it slice by slice until it was gone, now I'll be honest I may have overdone it with the pizza. I looked down at my bloated stomach and began to gently rub it as I had a decently strong stomach ache. I rubbed my tummy while letting out the occasional burp here and there until I eventually fell asleep at my desk watching live stream fails.