Chapter 1 - 1. the start

You panted, it had been less than a full loop around the running track and it was time to call the quits. Back hurting, legs burning and the wafting smell of a pizzeria down the block. Walking back to the car you reconsidered the scale readout this morning of 301 pounds and thought to yourself, "Jogging is overrated".


Months of not worrying about dieting had resulted in a sizable potbelly and a trip to the store to change up the wardrobe. After bursting the button off an old favorite pair of pants you hit the floor on an impulse and resolved to do a set of pushups. The first felt like trying to lift a mountain… you didn't bother trying for a second. Getting up, making the way to the bathroom scale and instead of being shocked, smiling as it read 345lbs, "Push-ups are overrated".


It was one of the hottest days of summer and even in the office it felt miserable. After treating yourself to the air-conditioned Indian buffet at lunch it was mortifying to find the elevator to your desk and reinforced swivel chair on the 9th floor was out of service. The walk back had already rendered you exhausted and in need to sit down. Your scale had read 403 pounds over the weekend and you knew there was no way you was hoofing it up there. Instead you waddled to the guard at the front desk, asked if to use the service elevator and had to resist a smile telling the man, "Stairs are overrated".


An after-work happy hour with your coworkers wasn't usually something you'd be interested in, at least until a coworker jokingly pointed out they had a list of discount appetizers too. Cheap as they were, your favorite selection was the lot of them at once. Coworkers drunkenly cheering on your putting down a small stack of plates became a weekly event. That was until one day you went to get seated and couldn't suck in your belly enough to wedge into the office's favorite booth. After the rest got seated the employees grabbed a chair and you filled the open end of the table with 455 pounds. After ordering the "usual" you turned to your colleagues and say, "Booths are overrated".


When you normalize eating thousands of calories as a meal in front of your coworkers on a regular enough basis no one bats an eye after you start bringing in donuts and pastries on a regular basis. No one could complain when there's one box for the office and another just for you. After ingesting one such repast and knocking the box off your desk it seemed innocuous enough to bend over to pick it up, that was until you and everyone else heard the loud ripping sound. You laughed it off, asked for the day off and went home. Weighing in at 509 pounds you glanced your ample rear and sides in the mirror and said to yourself, "Reaching the floor is overrated".


On the Friday following the torn pants your manager called you into a meeting. He offered to let you work from home if it was easier on you part of the week. Days spent at home became a buffet of delivery on your couch barely getting up besides answering the door and the work weeks began to blow by. One day after quitting time you got up ready to do your business on the toilet. After emptying your guts it dawned on you that no matter the angle, you couldn't get back there to wipe! After a shower to "clean up" you weighed in at 549 pounds, laid in bed after enjoying the loud creak, pulled up your phone and started searching for bidets thinking to yourself "Toilet paper is overrated".


After a few months splitting time at home and in the office your visits steadily reduced until you were only coming in for days that ended in happy hour. Dressed in the finest tentlike garments that wrapped around all 605 pounds of your bulk the work day passed like most in-office, your stomach "starved" by not having access to your usual deliveries but otherwise fine. As the day ended and you made your way to the chain restaurant of choice built into the building across the street the struggle of moving so much mass became apparent. As the crosswalk required a hundred foot jaunt up the street and back down it you resolved that "Long walks are overrated" and instead waited for a break in traffic before waddling across directly. The familiar servers showed your party to the table and seated your bulbous butt with two chairs having learned one was no longer sturdy enough.


You were disappointed when slacks ran out after 78" off the rack and had to admit to your boss professional attire was becoming a problem. He agreed that jeans would still be acceptable with a nice shirt which gave you just a bit of an extension after finding a few polos and sweaters at 10XL and jeans up to 85 inches. You had done the math and found being seven feet around the belt kind of arousing. Not as much as drinking an entire bucket of melted ice cream like the night before but it was a testament to your life of comfort and indulgence you'd grown to love. After a strenuous shower and toweling off one morning you used a grabbing stick to retrieve the massive garment and put it on. It had been difficult last week and now at 653 pounds of wobbling fat you had to admit defeat. The zipper couldn't fight to fit in your voluminous fat pad and the button was half a foot from closing at best. Laying back in bed with relief knowing your days in the office were going away you called your boss and started the conversation with, "Jeans are overrated…"