chapter 4 - testing his limits

Some time had passed since,
Matt woke up around noon as per usual. No class today, which meant a lot of lounging around and doing absolutely nothing. Jen was out, either in class or at the gym. Matt checked his phone.
''Babes, u up?''
''Whats up baby?''
A moment later he got a reply.
''OMG, been trying to reach you all day!''
''Can you come to my place at around 9?''
''Sure, what do you need?''
''It's been 4 weeks! we need to take measurements!''
A panic washed over Matt. He didn't want to take measurements at all. He knew he had put on weight. He didn't know how much or how severe it was but he didn't want to face the reality of numbers. He quickly thought of a lie to get out of it.
''Oh damn it baby! I totally forgot, I have an assignment due tomorrow! Can't do tonight :((''
''No problem. I'll bring over the scale.''
Matt was really worried now. He tried to come up with a tactful lie that didn't seem so obvious.''
''Can we reschedule? I'm gonna be cramming all day, I really can't afford any distractions. This assignment is super important!''
''Really? First time you're late.''
Jen knew he turned in his assignments early. He had never slacked off before. After all, he was good at 3 things. Video games, eating and academics.
Matt wrote back.
''Yeah, I totally spaced out on it, we'll do this another time.''
''K, babe, good luck, don't study too hard!''
Matt had weaseled his way out. he was relieved.
He grabbed his laptop and put it on his belly and started watching netflix. As the laptop hit his guy, he could feel that there was now a noticeable layer of fat between him and the battery. But he tried not to think about it. He hit the play button on the show and semi-focused as he was still sort of waking up.
A few minutes had passed and Matt begun noticing a sensation that was unmistakable.
An ungodly hunger.
It was a strange kind of hunger. His stomach was still full from the pig out he had last night. He hadn't even fully digested his meal. This was different. This was a deep craving. It was strong, inexplicably strong. He tried to focus on the show, but his mind was invaded constantly by speculations on what they had in the cafeteria today. As he was trying to focus on the show, the back of his head was trying to remember what he had in his mini fridge.
Matt almost threw the laptop off his belly. He showed his body to the side of his bed in a struggling urgency. He opened the minifridge and he was ecstatic.
The minifridge was filled to the brim with microwaveable junk food. Sodium, processed meat, and packed with carbs. Pizzapockets, poptarts, you name it. And it was quite apparent where they came from. There was a post it note with just a smiling face on it.
Jen must have came in the night and dropped it off.
Matt grabbed his phone and texted Jen.
''Where did you get all this food?''
He got a response right away.
''Sasha moved to San Fran. :(( She was cleaning out her freezer.''
Matt couldn't remember which friend was Sasha but frankly, he couldn't care less.''
''Well, her loss is my gain. Thanks babe''
''No problem lover!''
Matt grabbed 2 boxes and stuffed everything in the microwave. He put the timer on. Just as he did, he noticed that he couldn't possibly wait one minute before he bit into something. He grabbed a box of poptarts and started eating them cold. He turned to his laptop and continued watching his shows.
A few hours had passed. Matt found himself almost coming out of a blackout. When he came too, he noticed that he felt sick. His stomach was hurting. But this was not a sudden illness. His stomach was so full, it was hurting. He noticed that he had difficulty breathing as he was uncomfortably full. He turned around and opened his minifridge. It was gone. All of it.
He knew that he had been snacking continuously for hours, but he had no idea the extent of what he had done. The floor was just covered in empty boxes of assorted processed foods. His stomach was stretched to it's limit. He gathered up the courage to put his hand on his gut.
It was big. Full, expanded. It had a curvature to it. Matt felt shame. He knew he had to lose weight but he just couldn't help himself. ''How did this happen?'' It was as if he went into a trance and woke up with all the food shoved into his stomach. Like an alien abduction story.
He tried not to think about his shame. He tried to take his mind off things and went back to watching his show.
Not much time had passed, he maybe got in one or two episodes before a familiar feeling overcame him.
It was the cravings again. It was unreal, unnatural. His stomach was no less full than it was just a little while ago, still difficult to breathe. But he still had these unholy cravings, as if he hadn't eaten in days. It was like his brain and his stomach had no connection to each other and his brain thought that he was starving. He tried to forget about it yet again by gluing his face to his laptop but the cravings were immensely powerful.
He didn't know what to do.
Could he actually get out of bed and walk all the way to the cafeteria? He counted on his laziness to save him. But his sloth was not going to be his salvation today. His mind wondered again. The back of his head couldn't stop speculating what was in the cafeteria. An incurable curiosity of whether they had and lasagna and pasta today, gasped him. His comfortable bed, begun looking like a bed of nails that wanted him to get off.
Matt paused the show.
He lugged his legs off his bed and sat at the edge of the mattress as his feet kicked around the boxes on the floor. He looked down on his gut, sitting on top of his fattened, undefined legs that had spread wide under the pressure of his body. His stuffed gut was almost poking out of his shirt. ''I really shouldn't he thought'' but as he did, he was already grabbing his sweatpants. He stood up and realized how stuffed he was. His stomach felt heavy. But that wasn't going to stop these urges.
Matt entered the cafeteria. He was somewhat out of breath and his stomach was still a burden to carry around, sloshing with food as he walked. He continued to do his mental gymnastics and reminded himself that he walked up the stairs too fast. Yeah, that's it. A little too fast is all.
As he gazed upon the open buffet that was the pinnacle of gluttony, an almost magnetic force, grabbed him and forced him to take a tray.
Nobody ever took notice of Matt, or Matt never took notice of anyone doing so. But this time, he was nervous eating in public. He felt as if he was doing something he shouldn't have. Like everyone was staring at his gluttony.
He walked up to the lunch line and smiled at the lady behind the wall of food holding the serving spoon. There indeed was lasagna today. And plenty of it.
''Lasagna?'' asked the woman?
''Yes please'' he responded. As the lady passed her a big plateful, Matt added with an awkward lying smile;
''Oh, can I get 5 plates for my friends actually?''
''Sure honey'' responded the lady, uninterested and bored.
Matt didn't just stop there. He realized that he wasn't going to be able to fit everything in one tray. He grabbed another and another and he hit every single station on the lunch line.
Everything from beef brisket, to chicken breast to vegetables smothered with cheese.
It was too many dishes for him to carry. He had to take with him, 5 fully loaded trays. He was so lost in the ecstasy of the piles of food, he hadn't even thought about how he would carry them to the table.
At the pay station at the end of the line, he handed his card and added, ''I'm getting these for my friends, can I leave them here? I'll come grab them in a sec''
''no problem'' said the cute cashier girl.
Matt grabbed his pile of food and he looked for a place to sit. He did a sweep of the cafeteria. He was looking for a discreet location. He walked towards the back where no one was sitting. He put his tray down and went back for the others.
Matt laid down all 5 trays next to one another as if he was sitting with people. He subconsciously wanted to hide the fact that he craved this mountainous pile of food and he alone was going to consume it. He scanned the horizon as he begun shoving spoon fulls of fat and carbs into his mouth. He was trying to hide his gluttony.
As he moved from one tray to the next, he placed the trays under one another, to get rid of the evidence. The first tray was gone in the blink of an eye. He hadn't even noticed how the food went into his expanding body so quickly. The mess of produce, which at this point could only be called a mess, flowed into him. there was no etiquette or pleasure in what he was doing. There was only a dark, unstoppable craving that demanded more and more.
As he made his way onto the third tray, he had a moment of clarity. His stomach felt like it was going to explode. He had already came into the cafeteria uncomfortably full and now, he was eating inhumanly amounts of food. He could feel his belly distending, pushing more and more outwards. He had to take breaks from shoveling food into his mouth to actually breathe, which by now, was a chore entirely on its own.
He wanted to stop, but there was no way. His belly squished his organs and lungs, demanding more space, of which there was none. He put his hand on the stretched skin of his abdomen and assessed the damage he had done to himself. He tried to stop, but the food called to him. His break was short lived, he continued on with the engorging.
With all the trays emptied out, Matt sat there, in pain.