The most important things in a relationship are compatibility, communication and compassion.

If you enjoy each other's company can talk about problems and work through them, and want what's best for each other, you can make it work.

Do not worry about your boyfriend losing too much weight. The odds are very "slim" that he will succeed over the long term. Most probably he's going to get fatter. So you can be patient - time is on your side.

The basic difference between gaining and losing fat is whether the metabolism is burning fat or carbohydrates for fuel. That is determined by macros, but also by fat cells. A chubby boy will have the fat cells and inability to tolerate carbs to get chubby again, even if they diet. And if they plump up enough the fat cells will double and double again, enabling prodigious weight gain.

But someone who was lean as a child and walks or bicycles miles a day can cut back on sweets and lose fat fairly easily. The EU lifestyle is more amenable to this than the US where we drive everywhere and the younger generation is 30+ pounds heavier than their parents at the same age. As they age they will grow massive.

As I continue to gain, I'm drawn to music that suggests abundance like this "oldy but goody":


Also, this somewhat more modern one:

When I was young and skinny, I dated a woman who was 60+ pounds heavier than me. This was a point of friction for us because she was self-conscious about her big hips. A decade ago, I saw a picture of her in the paper looking very slim. She had taken up fasting and exercise. Meanwhile, I have gained 100+ pounds, so I’m probably double her weight. If we met I am sure she would humiliate me about the reversal.

At age 33 my car was rear-ended and I went from riding my bike 20 miles/day to sedentary. By the time I finished physical therapy I had gained 50 pounds. Then I got a sedentary job and gained another 50 pounds. Since then I have cut way back on calories, exercise vigorously 3 times a week, but continue to gain slowly. 5 pounds a year has added another 50 pounds over a decade. If I hadn’t gone on a crash diet to lose 40 pounds fifteen years ago, I’d be over 300 now and headed to 400.

Yes, in a survival situation it is a challenge just to obtain enough edible food and clean water to stay alive. For example, there are grasses and peas that can be eaten, as well as some berries, but other berries and flowers are toxic.

Fat is easiest to come by in fish and perhaps small creatures, but unless there are cows, cream won’t be available.

Overall, a dessert island has little in common with a desert island.

One perspective:
www.confessionpost.com/66069/my-belly-bowl-boy

You stay late at the Office to finish your monthly report. Without break room food you are so hungry it hurts. Then you hear the elevator open again, and another huge box is wheeled out. You realize that this is the monthly food delivery. You must have eaten half of it last month… in your head you try to calculate the calories: at least 200,000 over 4 weeks, 7000+ calories/day. No wonder you went up 3 pants sizes!

As you sit in your office, glutted from consuming the massive cake, you hear the elevator open and a maintenance worker exits, wheeling a very large box toward the break room. You sneak a glance as he unlocks a door in the back of the room and proceeds to open a walk in refrigerator. He then unpacks the box, unloading half a dozen two sheet cakes like the one you just ate, plus plate after plate of brownies you’ve been consuming, plates of sandwiches, etc. Mentally, you try to estimate the total calories he has unloaded. Must be enough food to feed 30 people for a week. Yet based on the last two days you know you could polish it all off in a month, eating 15,000 calories/day.

Many companies have drastically cut food budgets: travel allowances, craft services, company cafe subsidies, etc. It’s all about getting “lean and mean”, the polar opposite of “fat and happy”.

Yet you are blowing up from a steady stream of corporate calories. Someone powerful must be resisting the pressure to downsize your food supply. Surely, the powers that be have noticed you outgrowing your clothes. If the food stays plentiful then they desire your fattening to continue.