Surprise of the gains

chapter 2

After noticing the weight that has crept on.
I NOTICE THE WEIGHT HAS CREPT ON.
I can barely roll over in bed, stand from a chair, get out of my car.
Too much heap to haul.
I have a doctor's appointment.
"On the scale"
I watch as she moves the bar.
Higher
Higher
Higher.
285.8 pounds
Holy...

My heaviest.
I'm so close to 300 pounds I think in horror.
But.
I'm so close to 300 pounds.
So much more of me.

My clothes are so tight.
A men's 4x is comfortable.
A woman's 22/24.
Pants are so tight.
Rips are appearing in my work outfits.

And there's a dairy Queen next to my work.
Bittersweet affair.
Dairy Queen was my first job.
And has the best ice cream.
Sometimes I hear the drive thru people snicker.
On my second visit of the day.
Hot fudge sundae....
Blizzards...
Dilly bars...
Must have more.
Must be more.

I notice the sundaes adding up now.
Extra jiggle there.
Extra wedge of fat there.
Am I trying to get to 300?


The scale apparently thinks so.

Clothes are tighter.

Belly is heavier.

The needle inches higher.

Now it's at 297.

Lord how fat I have gotten.
How utterly gluttonous.
How huge.
And wobbly.
How am I this fat?
I ask myself.
As I snarf down another sundae.

I can barely tie my shoes.
Pull up my pants.
Cover my belly.
keep my belly from poking out at the bottom of my clothes.
Exposing myself to everyone.

As if I can hide it.
Everyone can see how fat I have gotten.
How much I jiggle in the Halls.
How tight my clothes are.
How much I put weigh .
Watching as I drink sugary drinks and Chase it with a candy bar.
They must think I'm a pig.
An oinker.
A fat blubber baby.
So huge.
SO jiggly.

So utterly fat.

I feel every wobble

Every jiggle.

Can feel every ounce now.
In my tight clothes.
My bouncing belly with each light step.
The calories consumed each day.
Each sundae.
Each pop.

So fat.

I hop on the scale.

The needle moves.
The numbers calculate.
The springs groan.
I catch my breath.

It doesn't stop.
N/a
I look at it.
It only goes up to 300 pounds.
I've passed it.

Time for another sundae.