Chapter 1

Chris walks up the driveway to his friend Tom's apartment. It is Friday night and he is FRAZZLED. He hurriedly rings the buzzer. Tom's voice immeadiately comes through.

"Hey Chris, come right up," Tom says in a light yet concerned manner.

Chris heads right up to Tom's door and Tom lets him in.

"Hey man...I heard you had a crazy day," Tom says.

"Oh from who? Carl? Word gets around fast, damn."

"Yeah, he had a crazy day too!"

"What? Like, with that same crazy girl??"

"Hell yeah, man. It sounded ridiculous. Sit down man, here's a beer," Tom says.

"So you heard about what happened?" Chris asks.

"Well, yeah...the Cliff's notes version at the Cheesecake Factory...he's still working, he'll be over later."

"Fuck! She caused trouble there too??" Chris asks.

"I guess so...at least a big check with a huge tip for all that trouble," Tom says.

"Do you know what time that was?"

"Ummmm...Carl called around two, had to be right after she was there," Tom says.

"Wow. She hit up the Cheesecake Factory THEN my Taco Bell THEN CINNABON?!?!" says Chris, confounded.

"Holy shit....I guess so," says Tom, equally bewildered.

"Well...I tell you, I never dealt with anything like her before," Chris says.

"Tell me what happened..." Tom says.

"Okay, so the lunch rush was over, so we were almost done getting ready for the dinner rush. I'm just straightening up my cash box or whatever, then, I see this big HUGE fat chick moving quick over to the Taco Bell. She looked Italian or Puerto Rican or something...cute face actually...but HUGE, I mean, BIG. Like, her tits and her gut were like, BARELY contained in her clothes which were SO FUCKING TIGHT. Her jeans HAD to be custom made....they were like REALLY tight too...but seemed like it could be a blanket for me or something."

"WHOA...." says Tom.

"So yeah, really fat with this strawberry-ish blond hair...ANYWAY...she comes up to me to order all out of breath and orders all this shit! Like four gordita supreme, four double deckers, I think TWO nacho supreme, FIVE Enchiritos...and those things are HUGE, and like a jumbo Mountain Dew."

"That's fucking crazy..." Tom says.

"Yeah man...what's crazier is that she started eating it all right there as each thing was ready. Like a pig too. Shoving it in like her life depended on it. She would only pause to flip her hair back before slamming in another taco or something."

"I can't believe it...crazy!" Tom says.

"Yeah man...nobody stopped her...she just stuffed her face until it was gone...a little messy. I never seen anything like it."

"Wow."

"Yea h...then she hit up Cinnabons."

Toms phone buzzes.

"It's Carl. He's coming over and wants to know if he can bring over this chick he met." Tom says.

"Uhhh...well...whatever."
"He wrote 'she is real cool, can outdrink me'," Tom says.

"Oh sure! Great credentials." Chris says not impressed.

"He wrote that she has weed." Tom says.

"COME ON OVER!" Chris yells laughing.

"Alright, I'll tell him," Tom says.

"So yeah man...crazy. By the time she was done over at Cinnabon, she was a wreck! Belly sticking out of her shirt, belly all blown up and HUGE...her pants unbuttoned, food and whatever all down her shirt and all over her face."

"Damn man."

BUZZZZ!

"It's Carl." Tom says walking over to the buzzer.

"Hey man...come on up!" Tom says to Carl.

"Okay man..." says Carl.

"I can't wait to hear what Carl has to say about Cheesecake Factory...how could anyone eat that much?" Chris says.

"I know!" Tom says.

KNOCK KNOCK

Tom opens the door.

"Hey man, whats up?" Carl says walking in.

"Nothin man...just hangin," Tom says.

"This is Cassandra," Carl says as Tom turns to meet her.

"Hi!" Cassandra says squeezing sideways throught the door way.

"Hi...Tom, nice to meet you."

"Cassandra, nice to meet you."

Chris instantly recognizes her as the girl from the mall. He is shocked as he stares at this gigntic girl who just squeezed through the door. Her very flashy clothes hardly fit on her corpulent, almost planetary body.

"Let's smoke!" Cassandra cries out.