Chapter 1

(weight gain stuff starts at chapter three)


The blue and yellow lights flashed on your coffee table and as you scanned your eyes upward you were met with the sternest look you’d ever received.



“Calvin what the hell is that thing,” she cocked her hip and looked up at you expectantly, “don’t tell me you wasted more of our money on some stupid online fad. I’m this close to giving you an allowance.” You were caught splurging again and all you could think to do was blink. I mean it’s not like you didn’t want to go on vacation, really you did. It’s just what if this time it wasn’t a scam? You could’ve had a time travel device for only $79.99 or even a worm hole generator for $219.00. In your mind, it was always a steal.



“It’s a swapper.”



“A swapper?” the heat of her glare just got more intense and you couldn’t help but sweat a little.



“Y-Yeah you know, like switching stuff from person to person. Like um swapping faces or money or something.” She seemed to soften at that, shaking her head.



“Well, I’ve got to give it to them, at least it’s more original than the money generator.” You quickly glanced behind her at the burned up piece of metal displayed proudly your bookshelf, the loud bang it made when it broke still echoing in your ears. Her hands started to shake and tears started to cloud her eyes so you quickly walked over to hold her. Money didn’t come easy, that’s for damn sure, but you promised to make it up to her.



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3:15



The lilies shed a few peddles in your haste to fix your collar. The worn out backpack you grabbed was filled with sandwiches from a local deli, a few bottles of beer, and an assortment of paper scraps from uni stuffed at the very bottom. As soon as the neighbor’s dog started barking you fixed your hair one last time and ran out the door. You were going to make things right.


It was veering into spring and the ground was just starting to thaw, a few flowers popping up, drinking the rain water like little cups. Liberty stepped out the car, short strawberry dress unfolding, and looked at you with her nose scrunched. She took in the state of you--messy slicked back hair, wilting flowers, a clunky old bag with a few towels--and almost laughed.



“We’re going for a picnic, I thought I’d surprise you,” you smiled holding up the items. She took her time, drinking you in head to toe, before quickly grabbing your hand and shoving you in the car.



It was a rather nice walk; the ground was still wet but between the fluttering birds and the slight breeze it was enjoyable. You both had stopped at fallen tree on the edge of the park, deciding that the ant and ice cream ridden bench was less appealing. You expected the subs to be soggy and warm, what you didn’t expect, however, was for the Swap Master to clack it’s way onto the ground. You gulped. The very reason you two were out here was to try and lift the heavy toll your irrational spending had placed on the relationship and there it was. The reminder of how you just kept fucking up.



Before you could grab it and stuff it so far back into the bag it wouldn’t dare to cough it up again, her lithe fingers wrapped around it and began to inspect it.



“You haven’t tried it yet, have you?” It was obvious given that it was intact, not burnt to hell, or smashed from your inevitable anger over it being a dud. You met her eyes, curious and unwavering. To be honest, you weren’t sure what to do. You didn’t know what wouldn’t make the situation even worse, so she decided for you.



“Can we turn it on? I never usually see any of the gadgets, just the affect they have on our joint account,” she spoke softly. Looking back at the device, you tried to tell what you were--in theory--supposed to do. These things never came with instructions and if they did translating them took longer than to just mess with it. It appeared to be some sort of cheap metal, tin most likely, with a few wires on the outside and two red handles. The wires lead to two flashing bulbs, one blue and one yellow, and between the both of them was a switch with what must’ve been a speaker. Having ordered similar products from a different site you had an idea of what to do.



You both grabbed a handle and you muttered a quick ‘height’ and flipped the switch not expecting anything more than a few burns and it short circuiting. It had shocked both of you and, simultaneously, hands were retreating and the device plummeted towards the ground. You had gotten a bit light headed and started to rub your eyes when you heard,



“Calvin!” Her mouth was ajar, face gone white and you had to look up to see the fear in her eyes. You had to look up. Your eyes trailed down to yourself and down you had to look. The ground was a frightening amount closer and your clothes had grown a bit baggy but not as loose at you’d expect them to be. What was more frightening was that it worked! Finally one of the devices that’d you’d spent so long looking for--and paying for--actually worked. You had to bite your tongue from saying ‘i told you so’.

“Calvin what the fuck just happened?” The question was more rhetorical than anything. Anyone would be able to tell the extreme height discrepancy between you two. Anyone could’ve seen it, people would’ve seen it, and yet the park full of people didn’t so much as bat an eye. Even a nice man waved at you both and as he walked past. You still had yet to answer.



“It really works...Do you know what we could do with this? This is life altering! The type of science to create this is out there, do you know what that means?” your mind raced from hover cars to teleportation to monkey butlers. Not only could anything be possible now, the means to do it has fallen into your lap. Having hope that this moment could happen was a ghost, and yet here you sat in the blunt reality of it.



She was silent for a moment, processing the weight of what she’d just been given. “Can you change it back?” Typical. Alien technology was here and she could only thing about herself. But it was a fair question. You picked up the machine, spoke into it once more, and flipped the switch, this time with your eyes open. Sure enough, you watched as her frame shrunk back to her usual short and petite stature and as your field of vision raised. You were back to your regular selves.



Staring in shock you asked, “what do you want to do with it?” Her eyes scanned the people in the park until they fell upon an elderly couple walking their little pup. Still not quite believing the device to be real, she put her hand back on the device, said what she wanted to change and flipped the switch from left to right.



You felt your skin start to sag, the weight pulling down on you. Liver spots and freckles painted your skins and you felt your joints and your bones crunch and pop with years of wear and tear. Your back hunched and hair sprouted from your ears. The couple that you’d swapped with continued walking as if nothing had happened, looking like they were pulled from a different era; their clothes were the same and looked out of place but that seemed about the extent of it. The man’s cane was no longer there, instead replaced with a book about bird watching. You were about to say something about the odd occurrence when you looked back at your girlfriend. She was gazing back at you with a look you’d seen many times--namely whenever you were caught staring or you’d told her you loved her. Her hair was graying and her face had many wrinkles. The fire in her eyes held the same. She was beautiful. Her nosed scrunched up and she smiled, a wrinkled hand tracing a finger over your aged skin.



“Look at you,” she said softly, “you’re so handsome, honey.” Your eyes welled as you saw your future together: traveling, two dogs, buying a house, settling down in a rural city in Alaska. You leaned in to meet her lips half way and, despite the jarring changes in appearances, the kiss lingered in familiarity.



You’d wrapped your arm around her and you’d been staying like that for a few minutes, enjoying the knowledge of what both of you would look like while growing old together. But the sweet moment had to end as the now younger couple continued on their walk. You repeated the actions and everything went back to the way it was: wrinkles tightening, color coming back, and skin glowing.



She stayed there for a while, head resting on your chest and you couldn’t help but savor the moment. The device sat on your thigh, warm from computing atoms, and you’d realize a potential pattern with the device.



“I think only the people touching it realize what’s happening.” She sat up and thought about it for a moment.



“We should test it. Here, try something small,” she replied as she crossed her legs and turned to fully look at you. You let out a breath and picked up the magic box, boldly stating what you wanted to swap and watching as those eyes of her swirled from brown to your icy blue. Well that’s what it looks like, you looked closer at what the true color of your eyes were, never really able to get a good look, as much as you tried to use the flash on your phone to get a good picture. She leaned back from you.



“Well, are you going to or aren’t you?” she looked at you expectantly.



“I was right, your eyes they’re blue.”



“Of course they are Calvin what else would they be.” It was a bit to wrap ones head around that the entire course of their life can be made different from such a small piece of tin. Her entire life she thought of her eyes as blue but she realized, rather quickly, that it’s all been a lie--well, relatively.



“So you were right. It only works when the other person is touching it.” She paused. “Fuck! We’re going to be late to meet Joe. C’mon.” You quickly scraped the leftover sandwiches into your backpack and shoved the priceless ($149.99) machine in as well.