Chapter 1 Zee

Candy was watching a self-help author who was doing a live show, she normally didn’t like this sort of thing, but today was a special day, mainly because it was a free day. Candy had won a week long all expenses paid trip to Vegas on a cheesy radio show contest, she wouldn’t even recall the channel if she hadn’t won a trip from it. In fact, she didn’t now anyway! Regardless. Candy had come to the self help speaker show because the trip included several free shows and events, including this one.

Normally Candy would ignore this type of speaker, they’re all full of it anyway, or maybe not ALL full of it. Candy was engrossed with every word from his mouth. Mr. Zee, despite his silly name, knew his stuff. It was all the standard cheesy self help garbage, but this time it made sense for some reason. Eventually he did something unexpected and pointed straight at Candy, calling her to the stage. Candy was sitting by herself separate from the crowd so it was easy to tell who he meant.

Candy went up to the stage and sat down about five feet from Zee, who said “Welcome to the show, Ms. . .” And did the “after you” gesture candy just said “Call me Candy.” Zee smiled and said “Okay, I can see why you would want to use a pseudonym in front of a crowd.” It wasn’t a pseudonym, but sure, let him think that. Candy smiled and Zee said “Now, I bet your wondering why I called YOU up here today.” Candy laughed and asked “Was it because I was sitting alone?” Zee nodded and said “Yes, but there is a reason. In all of my talks I have made an observation. People who sit alone do so because they have something they value more than people. As a person you really shouldn’t.” Candy felt weirdly targeted, her feeling that this Zee guy was something special was rapidly disintegrating. She motioned him to continue and Zee said “Okay, I can see you don’t want to talk about it. You may not even know what it is. But I have discovered a new hypnotic technique that will reveal it to you! Do I have your permission to try?” Candy laughed and said “Go ahead, I’m pretty sure this is B.S. though, gotta say.” Candy half expected the man to pull out a watch or a hypno wheel. It WAS Vegas after all. But no, he didn’t. Zee said “Okay, now close your eyes, relax and focus on my voice.” I closed my eyes and he continued “Be honest with yourself, you must. . .” And he continued for some time, Candy felt herself falling.
The next thing she knew Candy was on a mountaintop. She was running from something she couldn’t see and didn’t know what it was exactly. As she sprinted and dodged around she fell down. When she did she heard footsteps coming and turned to face whatever was chasing her. It was herself. She was being chased by another Candy. But this one was nearly skeletal, she looked like she was anorexic or bulimic. Maybe both. Candy was extremely tall, she was 6’1” (just under 2 meters) yet, this version of herself looked like she weighed 90 lbs (41 kilograms), likely less. It spoke in a ragged and sickly voice, that was otherwise her own. It said “Thin. That is all you are, it is all you have.” Then paused for a moment and said “and all you shall ever be.” Candy felt something terrible and felt something rip into her stomach. She looked down to see a surprise, her belly was huge, it looked like she weighed twice what she actually did. But it was rapidly shrinking, there was less of her every moment. Eventually her skin wrapped tightly around her bones, then Candy looked up at the other her. It looked normal, neither skinny nor fat. The other Candy gave an insane bout of laughter. As Candy’s own body crumbled to dust.

Candy suddenly woke to find herself back on the stage next to Mr. Zee. He seemed surprised and said “Is that really what you want? What you are afraid of? Your true inner self?” Candy looked around to see looks of shock and horror on the faces of each member of the audience. Maybe she SHOULD have used a pseudonym. Candy shook her head and then turned to Zee, saying “what did I SAY?” Zee said “You really don’t know?” Candy shook her head and Zee said “I will tell you, but first I want you to promise you will tell me about your dream.” Candy nodded and said “As soon as you tell me you’ll know.” Zee nodded and said “You told me that your true desire is to eat whatever you want, whenever you want. Even to get fat. You said you loved the way fat women looked and that you wanted that to be you.” Someone in the audience shouted “Tell her the whole thing!” and Zee sighed and said “You said you want to be obese, beyond obese. You said you wanted people to have to roll you around to move. You, uumm, ranted about it for a while.” Candy could feel her face heating up as Zee spoke. She said “Seriously?” Zee nodded with a serious look on his face and she said “That’s stupid, I’ve worked hard to stay skinny my whole life!” Zee sadly shook his head and said “Well, that’s what you said. So, be honest with yourself. Even if you cannot be honest to me. Be honest with yourself. Now. Can you tell me about your dream? You’re the first person I’ve seen who both dreamt AND spoke. Most do one or the other.
Candy gave a quick rundown of her dream to Zee. After Candy finished Zee was contemplative for a moment. Then he said “So, that makes sense with what you said. You want to shake off the chains of society and follow your dreams, uumm, your figurative dreams. But you are terrified that you will only be skinny no matter what you do. You think it is an unchangeable part of yourself. I assure you, it is not.” Before Candy could reply the audience began chanting “Zee, Zee, Zee.” Zee held up a hand to silence them and Zee said “I have one suggestion for you if you’ll take it.” Candy looked at Zee silently and he said “Follow your dream, even if it seems stupid, follow it for just one day” and he held up an index finger. “Just to see what it feels like.”
After this the show ended. Zee told Candy to follow him off stage, and she did so. Behind the stage was a series or hallways with doors on either side. Zee handed Candy a scrap or paper with a phone number, he said “Call me before the week is out, but first, try my advice, spend one day chasing your desire. Just one day. Follow your dreams. Just for one day. If you dislike it, what will you lose?” Zee then walked off down a hallway behind the stage. Candy was frozen in surprise, staring at the paper in silence. When she looked up Zee was gone. Doubtless through one of the many doors. Candy went back to her hotel room In silence. It was in the same building as the Zee show. So she didn’t even have to go outside. Candy spent the rest of the day thinking about what Zee had told her. She went to her room and sat on her bed. Candy held the scrap of paper Zee had given her and said “Who knows, maybe I will.” Before lying down.