Chapter 1 - My story: chapter 1

I started out really fit as a personal trainer about six years ago, about 140 lbs and 5'7 but I always had this fetish for as long as I could remember. My mom used to put me into beauty pageants as a teenager and I always felt the pressure to be perfect and beautiful because my sisters were, but inside I really wanted to be curvier and had fantasies of gaining weight since as long as I can remember. So while I was a trainer, I was dating another trainer named Steve and on our way to a party we got into a car accident. Steve was fine but I wound up breaking both my legs and spent the summer in bed pretty much, where I gained my first 25-30 lbs. I got out of the habit of working out every day, and then going back to college definitely did not help. I was pretty pleased the weight was going to the right places, my boobs, thighs, and ass. My tummy looked a little soft and bloated but I didn't really mind too much. So I was in my junior year of college and Steve went to the same school as me, but he started to make a few comments here and there...asking if I wanted to work out with him and if I "really needed to eat that." By the middle of Christmas break during Junior year, I was looking pretty chubby at about 190 lbs. All my clothes were super tight, I had love handles now and a slight double chin but inside I liked it. I was wearing mainly stretchy clothes and partying a lot, drinking eating whatever I really wanted. My mom and sisters started making comments which were pretty annoying but I tried to ignore them. My mom would say things like, "Are you really going out in that?" while she looked at my belly in my tight clothes.

When spring break came around, I was in a Sorority and Steve was in a Frat so we all had plans to go to Marco Island in Texas. Mainly the girls in my sorority were skinny and hot, there were only like 3 fat girls in it and I was now one of them, and they did not go to Marco Island. It really did feel weird, once being skinny and fit and now hearing some of the girls talk behind my back about my gain. Saying i was "ruining the reputation" of our sorority and "someone should talk to me." I was like, around 210 lbs by this time and I felt Steve was being more and more distant, making comments with his friends about how hot certain thin celebrities were. I specifically remember when Steve and I got back to the room after breakfast and we were laying in bed and I was trying to initiate sex but he told me he "wasnt in the mood" which was weird because he usually always in the mood. I asked him why and he literally told me I was "getting pretty big" and he wasn't as attracted to me anymore. At the time I was devastated, and he broke up with me when we got back from Texas. At this point I started binge eating and I did not care and by like the beginning of senior year I was 250 lbs and my family was basically had an intervention for me, which was absolutely ridiculous.