chapter 1: testing a hypothesis

As I looked at the second muffin I had bought for brunch that morning, I had a lot going through my head. Honestly, a lot more than what should have been for a single, small poppyseed muffin, but this was an important fork in the road for my journey of self-discovery. The actual purchase of the muffin wasn’t anything to call home about; I usually had a muffin and a bottle of water for breakfast, but studying for a test in my morning English class ate into my breakfast time, quite literally. The university food mart was always stocked, so I had decided this morning that I would compromise a bit.

Turning breakfast into brunch wasn’t so weird, especially with how hectic college schedules can be, but, since I was already used to eating earlier, I had purchased a second muffin in order to not feel peckish for the rest of the day. Post-test stress didn’t play into this decision surprisingly, but I would most likely attribute that to my upbringing. Y’see, my mom is what most people would call a health nut; any sort of body fat besides breasts to her was a sign of laziness and any other vice that she could feasibly tie to that tissue. This lead to me being active in sports growing up, as well as having strictly regulated meals. It was because of this that I was so hesitant to eat what amounted to roughly 100 calories.

I took a deep breath as I unwrapped the muffin and took a bite. It tasted good, like how a poppyseed muffin should be, but not enough for me to be indulgent with it. Maybe that was just my mom talking. As I finished it off and cleaned off the small cafeteria table I was at, a strange sensation made its way to my gut. Is… this what feeling over-full is? It had been so long, I barely remembered what it felt like. Growing up in the great US of A, many would be surprised that I would go from slightly hungry to over-full on a single muffin, but keep in mind that I had been eating these small portions for my entire life. However, the small wave of pleasure that wormed its way through me confirmed my hypothesis. I was into that.

I always had a suspicion that I was a bit more… unusual in what turned me on, from getting a bit flustered when I saw bigger people on my social media to my eyes lingering a bit too long on thick thighs, but this was the final nail in the casket. And if I decided to follow this particular path, I’d need a much bigger casket.