chapter 3

Even when I was skinny I was never particularly sporting. At school I hated games and PE. As I became fatter any interest in any sport vanished. I continue to swim and I enjoy the exercise but I have not engaged in any competitive sport for years. Other things have changed along the way. I have no so much noticed the process of change but the consequence of change once it has happened. A period goes by an I suddenly realise that I have not run at all for some time. Without being conscious of any alteration in what I do, I realise I have become more sedentary. I can walk as far as I want. It is not if I am handicapped in any way but I do find that I walk less and use the car more, even for short journeys. I avoid queues when I can or standing for long periods. Holidays are different too. Sight-seeing is a much less appealing activity. An adventure holiday is out of the question. I cannot see myself ever kayaking, skiing, hiking, cycling, ballooning, rock climbing, mountaineering or horse back riding to name a few activities of which there must be many more. It is just not practical anymore to participate in those kinds of activities. But I have no desire to participate even if I ever had. More of my holidays are spent in England as I really do not enjoy flying and I definitely avoid long haul flights. Hours and hours in an uncomfortable economy seat is not my idea of fun. If I ever had an pretensions to fashionable dressing, I have definitely abandoned them. I wear what fits. I am never going to cut a dash. I go to the cinema and the theatre less frequently as home is much more comfortable and I can see just about everything there. I still watch live football, although less than before, even though the seats are not designed for people like me. So things change but they are changes I embrace.

And I almost forgot! I have the added advantage as a chub that I am attractive to some guys; very attractive. So having been on the shelf for most of my life. I am no longer, which makes it doubly worth while to be as fat as I have become. My sex life has never been better.

More recently, I am now twenty seven, I reached another mile stone: 350 pounds. In fact when I last weighed myself I was 356 pounds. I dreamed about being this big and it is a wonderful feeling to have achieved it. Now I can really put my hands under my distended belly and jingle it up and down. It is fantastic. As I have said, I may in the future face health issues of which I am reasonably free at present, just a few aches and pains and an occasion skin rash, but I feel even better than when I was under 300 pounds.

My weigh gain has slowed down considerably but I have not stopped gaining. I can see myself in the future at over 400 pounds and I have only happy expectations of that weight too. I am in two minds what to do. I could either meander to the target enjoying the journey just as much as the destination savouring each gradual progression of gaining weight, in which case I will probably meet my target when I am about thirty. Or should I make an extra effort and put on those pounds now in order to reach my target of 420 pounds much earlier. It may require a course of gainer shakes again to help me on my way. All I can say is that, whatever I decide to do, I have not regretted for a moment taking the irrevocable decision to become, as I was designed to be, morbidly obese.

Now I have a couple of questions: Has you experience been the same as mine? Or has it been very different? Did you know you were born hard-wired a gainer? There was nothing you could do about it. Secondly, shall I make a concerted effort to grow to to 420 pounds, say, in the next year to eighteen months. You decide...