chapter 1

Looking at the dressing room mirror.
When did that get there?
That roll.
Those marks.
That extra hanging wobbly chin.
How long has it been there?
They weren't there a month ago.
Or were they?
Husband has been commenting even more lately on my hanging double bey roll.
How expansive my rear has apparently gotten.
How my chin is gaining a twin, possibly a triplet.
I strip and look closely in the mirror.
Conflicted feelings.
I am so big.
Yet I am SO BIG.
So FAT.
So ROUND.
How long have I been this utterly blubbery?
I start at the bottom.
My feet look the same, well what I can see of them.
Looking down I can't see my feet at all. But in the mirror they look the same.
Calves still strong but thick.
Thighs still huge, dimpled with cellulite, stretch marks crossing them.
They meet by my knees and interlock in an eternal kiss.
Can't remember ever having a 'thigh gap'.
The thighs are fairly wide and thick.
Probably 40 inches alone.
Then my ass.
Has gotten extra wiggly.
Jiggly.
Blubbery.
Wide.
Barely covered by my panties.
Having a more obvious presence in my jeans.
No wonder sitting has been an extra enjoyable hobby lately.
More cushioning.
I look at the mother load of the blubber load.
The belly.
The big.
Fat.
Jiggly.
Wobbly.
Flopping.
Double rolled.
Sloping.
Squishy.
Soft belly.
Two thick juicy fat rolls stacked atop one another forming my belly.
Hiding my belly button from the world. Unless I pry the rolls apart.
Or lean back far enough.
My belly hangs low enough to cover my panties making it look like I'm going commando.
I can't even grip the bottom roll with one hand.
It's so thick.
And wide.
And fat.
I gently find my belly button between the rolls.
Push my finger in.
Slowly.
The sensation.
My hand enveloped in the rolls of my belly.
Deeper.
Deeper.
I giggle as I hook the top roll and jiggle my belly.
Watch the ripples.
The hog jelly.
The fat jiggle.
I pull my hand away and grab the top roll with one hand.
The bottom roll with the other.
Flop then around.
Jiggle them.
Bounce on my feet to see how long the ripples last.
Compared to my belly the rest of me is nothing to shout about.
But the belly.
Demands a presence.
Demands to be seen.
Just out further than the rest of me.
Enters any room first.
Wide with pride.
The fat.
The jiggle.
The wobble.
How utterly fat I have gotten.
I study my face.
My double chin is dipping lower.
Touching my neck.
Wobbles with each word.
I mimic taking a step.
Even the double chin wobbling like Jell-O.

So fat.
How did this happen?
I must've gained sixty pounds in the last year.
How?

I struggle to redress.
Clothes are so tight.
Seams are screaming.
Clinging to each roll.
Showing the world my greed.
And gluttony.
My sin of being fat in their presence.

I wobbly and jiggle my way out of the store.
Every inch like wobbly hog flesh.
How?

"Number 16 your order is ready."

I juggle my way to the counter.
This is how.
My food is ready.
A double cheeseburger, a large milk shake, a large soda, a large fry, a chicken wrap, nuggets,small onion rings, and a large sundae.
It's so much food.
It's dripping with grease and salt and sugar.
It's so fattening.
And it's delicious.
And I eat it all.
And I want more.