chapter 1

It had seemed to work out for others before, online dating that is. I had just downloaded grindr after listening to how some of my friends had met. Some of them were lucky enough to find their future husband on apps like tinder, grindr and bumble. I thought I would have the same luck, but sadly I did not.
I typed in my information, basic as it seemed.
"Name, Johnny. Height ,5'10. Weight, 140 lbs. Relationship status is single, why else would I be here. I guess I identify as twink, never been a fan of these groups in the LGBT community though."
After filling out the information, I decided to scroll through other people's profiles and see what was up with them. I saw a few guys I thought were quite cute. One guy, named Sam, really got my attention. He had a chiseled jawline, great smile, beautiful eyes. He seemed to have the build of a football player. I decided to give it a shot and message him.
"Hey, you have a gorgeous smile" I typed to him while trying to be flirty and casual.
I went about my day as usual, not thinking much of it. When I had gotten back home and checked to see if he had reply, I had noticed I had received an instant message apparently. He was quick to respond so I believed that he must be interested. We continue to chat the rest of that night. Just talking about ourselves and getting to know each other. It was all pretty heart warming, especially after having seen how often random strangers send unsolicited dick pictures. He seemed like he just wanted to get to know me.
We had been back and forth texting for a week now. I told him that I had just graduated college and finally got my first real job. It was a pretty chill job, nothing too insane but just doing research at a desk.
"Really?! Congratulations, that is great. We should celebrate. Let's have dinner somewhere and get some drinks." Sam messaged me. Instantly I smiled. This man was just very charming and kind.
"Yeah, it would be great to actually meet you in person." I replied back. We began hashing out the details for our first actual date. He picked out a nice restaurant, I had never been to and it all seemed very romantic. We decided to meet the saturday after my first week of work. Which was nice to me because that way I had a good topic to talk about if I got nervous.
I had definitely enjoyed my new job. I get to work on research projects focusing on medicine. It was truly exciting. I do have such a bad sweet tooth though, I would make a trip or two to get myself some candy from the vending machine. Sugar does help brain function. All my coworkers were also very nice and welcoming, we didn't get to talk much though since we were all busy with different projects and I was trying to get a hang of working there with my first project. This week had definitely warn me out but I was thrilled for the weekend to come and to hang out with Sam for the first time.
I parked in the restaurant parking and decided to text Sam, just to let him know I was there.
"Hey, I just pulled in. I am going to go get a table. Can't wait to see you" I said as I got out of my car and sauntered into the hotel. I was feeling hot. I wore a nice simple green button down, which went well with my green glasses and dark hair. I voted on going more casual and wearing jeans. Didn't want to make this more than I thought it was. I was able to get a table for two easily, and followed my waitress to my seat.
"Would you like to have some water or is there anything I can get for you?" The kind waitress asked. She was a small, petite girl. She seemed to be getting comfortable with her job, but she must have been a new hire like me though.
"Actually a glass of wine would be nice, waiting on someone and we are going to celebrate my new job." I say happily, I must have looked like I was on cloud nine.
"That's sweet" She says before going to get my drink. I decide to pull out my phone and send Sam another message.
"Hey, I am here. I am at the table near the window. Ordered us some wine. What's your eta?" I begin to look around hoping he was entering, however the restaurant wasn't that crowded. I must have gotten there before the Saturday night crowd picked up. I checked my phone but still didn't get a reply from Sam.
"Here is your wine" the waitress said as she put down a nice, big glass of chardonnay on the table for me. "Is there anything else I can get for you at the moment or are you still waiting on someone?"
"I'll just get an appetizer for the moment, these Brussels sprouts cooked with bacon sound good. I will go with them." I begin to think about what's taking him so long. I also begin thinking about how weird do I look her alone at this nice restaurant. It wasn't busy but there were still other people here. The waitress also knew I was waiting on someone. How did that make me look?
After waiting a bit longer, my plate of Brussels sprouts came out. I knew at this point I had been ghosted. Sam wasn't showing up, I fooled myself into thinking this was something serious. I had also finished my glass of wine and being the light weight I am, I was feeling a bit loose.
"You know what, I am still going to celebrate this week. Can I get the 8 oz steak with fries and a salad" I told the waitress with much fewer fucks to give. I had given in, why not enjoy my night and enjoy some good food if I was just bailed on by a cute guy on grindr. I sat here indulging on my Brussels sprouts with bacon and trying my best to forget about it all. Of course, I had to get another glass of wine to make up for it.
The food was fantastic, as soon as my steak came out I dug into it. It was quite big, the serving sizes here were pretty large. As soon as I saw my plate I instantly thought, "No wonder America has an obesity problem" and continued to dig in. I forced myself to get through the last bite. Enjoying the bite of the tender, moist steak. I did struggle to get the last fry down.
At this point the waitress decided to come up and asked "how about a dessert to end the night, I will put it on the house" I knew she was taking pity on me. I thought I was going on a date and ended up alone. It was obvious I was forcing myself to enjoy the night.
"You know what yeah, I will actually get bread pudding and then a slice of the key lime pie to go" I said a bit tipsy. I was smart enough to not drink and drive and decided I would just get an uber to take me home. Get my car tomorrow morning.
The waitress quickly comes out with my bread pudding, and I just get lost in the sweet taste of it. The cinnamon flavors and the soft texture nearly makes me forget about Sam.
I quickly finish the bread pudding and order an uber on my phone. With my key lime pie slice in hand, I went outside ending my night at the restaurant. Making sure to tip the waitress generously for dealing with my messy ass. I get into the uber car, the drive warmly greets me but I am just too done with this day. I get in the back and try to relax before getting home.
As soon as I got home, I took off my clothes and opened up the box with the slice of pie in it. I began to dig in, trying to forget about Sam before bed. I can't believe I was just left there. At least I have pie, he doesn't have anything.