Chapter 4 - four

Jess would not make risotto tomorrow. Or the day after or the day after next. It was party season, after all, the weeks leading up to and after Christmas was a flurry of exclusive parties and private events. And once New Years had passed Jess and Luc went on a brief vacation, visiting Luc's family in Miami and Jess's parents in Connecticut. But once the barrage of travel had ended and the couple returned to their regular schedule, Jess began cooking in earnest.

Jess emptied her grocery haul and surveyed her purchases. Arborio rice, thyme, white wine, mushrooms, fresh parmesan, shallots, and chicken stock. As she checked the ingredients list Jess could feel her anxiety rearing its wretched head.

"The recipe called for rice but it didn't say what kind of rice. The guy at the store said Arborio rice would be best, by why did I ask for advice from a Mexican man for an Italian dish!?"

Despite her deep lifelong love of food, Jess was a frighteningly bad cook. Neither of her parents bothered to teach her and after she married Luc they depended on a steady diet of takeout. In the two years spent in this apartment, the stove had barely been touched. Now as she inspected the list of ingredients and instructions, Jess felt overwhelmed.

"All right, let's begin." Jess thought, pouring herself a generous helping of white wine. "It's just rice with more steps, how bad can it be?"

Very bad, actually. Her first attempt left the kitchen covered in sauce and reeking of smoke. How she managed to burn chicken stock is a mystery. But she remained resolute in her convictions, trying again later after a brief meltdown in the shower.

"All right, the stock is boiling, move it off the burner and start on the mushrooms." Jess thought as she frantically moved about the kitchen. "Okay, the mushrooms are the right kind of brown. Add the shallots."

As the recipe progressed Jess felt herself entering a Zen-like rhythm. She started making decisions based on feel instead of relying on the recipe, freelancing as she went. There were some hiccups, to be sure, but after thirty minutes of labor, Jess was left with a lovely meal.

"Moment of truth..." Jess mumbled as she blew on the dish, "Please be good...."

Jess took a spoonful and was delighted. It was good! She actually made something good! The risotto was creamy but not too rich, the parmesan mixed well with the shallots, and the mushrooms gave the rice dish structure. It was an excellent effort.

"I can cook, I'm a cook!" Jess thought as she tucked into her meal. The satisfaction of eating your own, excellent, food was something Jess had never experienced before. This risotto meant a lot to her.

As Jess devoured her meal she began to think about what she would do next. Carmen had sent her over a hundred recipes to make, she didn't even know where to start. Jess scrolled through the massive cookbook, not noticing that she had finished off enough risotto for two. Not wanting to lose her momentum, Jess picked out another recipe for today. Sugar cookies, simple enough and she had all the ingredients.

Jess launched into the next project and after two hours of baking, she had thirty perfectly sculpted sugar cookies.

"A chef and a baker!" Jess laughed while eating a cookie. "Oh, what can't I do?"

The high of her success carried her throughout the day. She hummed her way through her chores, managed to bang out a few pages of her manuscript without worry, and even took a satisfying nap. It was a wonderful change of pace compared to her, generally, anxiety-filled days. Jess was awoken from her slumber when her husband arrived.

"J! I'm home!" Luc declared, dropping his suitcase onto the couch. "Got off early today."

"I noticed," Jess grumbled, more than annoyed that her nap was over.

"I'm sorry if I -are those cookies?" Luc asked, pointing towards the plate of cookies. "When did we buy those?"

"Uh, actually, I made them," Jess answered, trying to hide her pride. "I found a recipe online, it's no big deal."

"Since when did you get all domestic?" Luc joked, taking a bite. "Wow! These are good, like overpriced Williamsburg bakery good."

"Awww, thanks, Luc." Jess blushed.

"Are there any more?"

Jess looked at the plate and was horrified to see only three cookies remained. The recipe made thirty, Luc ate one, so that meant she had scarfed down 26 cookies by herself! Plus the risotto! "That's a silly amount of food for one day!"

"Oh I wasn't sure about the recipe, it's just a small test batch," Jess replied, hoping Luc would believe her.

"Well, that's a shame because these are great," Luc replied, kissing Jess on the forehead. "Looking forward to whatever you make next, J."

"Thanks, babe," Jess replied as Luc left the room.

Jess turned her attention towards her phone and opened the cookbook. Carmen's advice seemingly had worked. The recipes were fantastic, even Luc agreed, and Jess hadn't felt this content in months. As she scrolled through the endless list of recipes Jess came to a conclusion. She was a disciple of Carmen's teachings and the cookbook was her bible.

"Chicken Alfredo for lunch for lunch and lebkuchen for dessert sounds wonderful..."