I Scream for Ice Cream

Chapter 1 enter Andy

A man with short, brown hair and brown eyes stood alone behind a counter, embedded with cooled chambers of ice cream in a variety of flavors. He was about six feet tall, and somewhat muscular. Andy worked at > Zero, the ice cream parlor on Campus at Cal State San Bernardino. Andy loved the job, he got two free ice cream cones (or something comparable) each day. As a campus business they were more than willing to work with Andy’s schedule too. But more than anything else, Andy loved the view. They weren’t on a mountaintop, or near the beach or the like. No, the view that Andy loved was the customers. It seemed like all of the pretty girls on campus loved this place, almost without exception. Even the few who didn’t come by for ice cream walked by pretty often since the parlor was in the middle of the campus, and as such was on the way between most classes that weren’t in the same building. Best of all, for Andy anyway, the man had a bit of a penchant for watching girls eat. He honestly didn’t care if they were fat, thin, or anything in between, as long as they were eating.



One day something happened that Andy’s boss would have loved if he knew of it at the time. About fourteen people showed up together for ice cream, it was the first week of a semester, and a lot of classes got out early since they just did basic day one info stuff. So, one by one Andy served the customers, while watching the women among them eat out of the corner of his eye. This continued until the last person in line ordered. Much to Andy’s surprise she didn’t ask for one ice cream cone, or sundae, not two either. She ordered three sundaes, each was made up of a single, large scoop of ice cream, absolutely buried in whipped cream, along with half of a banana and a ton of peanuts, all drizzled (or rather, drowned) in either chocolate or caramel sauce, customer’s choice, finished up by a cherry, as the tradition went. Andy looked very closely at the girl’s appearance. She had beautiful, brown hair that hung just past her shoulders. Hair that would have been longer, except that it was somewhere on the border between wavy and curly, and spent most of its length moving sideways, or even back up, rather than straight downward. She wore a white top with ruffles along its arms and folds over her chest. A brown smock that made Andy suspect she was in some kind of painting course was laid over the top. The overall effect made Andy feel like she was some kind of time traveling grease monkey at the Renaissance fair, played by an absolutely gorgeous model. As she turned around with her giant order Andy watched the girl return to her table. The woman was somehow even better looking from behind. The brunette swayed her hips enticingly with each step that she took, moving her behind in a way that Andy found absolutely mesmerizing.



When she got to a seat the woman sat down and looked over her first Sundae like she was inspecting it for problems. After a minute the brunette nodded and plunged her spoon Into the ice cream. Andy felt like he has gone insane as he watched the woman ravenously devour her first ice cream sundae, occasionally slapping her hand onto the table in overwhelming delight. She looked like she was having the time of her life. Andy felt excited enough that he was glad that the counter he stood behind was tall enough to block him from an obvious form of embarrassment. The woman eating held Andy’s attention so completely that he didn’t even notice that someone else was walking up to the counter until he heard a nasal voice say, “Hey kid, earth to ice cream guy.” Andy looked up to see a uniformed police officer with a wispy mustache and a hat with the badge on it. Andy said “Oh, sorry for the delay.” The officer said “Uhg, kids these days.” While rolling his eyes. He then began to order rapidly, not waiting for Andy to say anything.



A minute later the officer had an ice cream cone and stepped away from the counter, while Andy’s attention returned to the brunette woman, who was stepping out of the building. “Damn.” He muttered quietly enough that nobody heard, “I didn’t even get her name.” silently cursing the cop for taking his attention off of the brunette. Then, Andy asked himself “Wait, did she already eat three Sundaes?” Normally he wouldn’t think that, but the girl had walked out of the parlor empty handed. He wondered how she could have downed two Sundae’s in the short time that it took Andy to deal with the officer. Then Andy said “Doesn’t really matter. I’ll see her again soon enough.” With a shrug.



Andy had no idea how right he was though. The very same day Andy had a political science 101 class that he went to after work. Andy knew that he could only just make it to class on time after work, so it was no surprise that nearly all the seats were already taken when he got to the classroom. What WAS a surprise, however, was that he recognized somebody seated next to the empty seat he sat in. But Andy didn’t have a chance to speak to her. He had only just noticed the brunette girl from the ice cream parlor when an older man at the front of the auditorium style room said “Hello everyone, I am professor Henderson, and welcome to political science 101, the introductory course on this subject, and the one that most of you are probably only taking to check off one of the college’s general education requirements.” Andy would have gotten a kick out of the line, but he honestly only understood that the professor was speaking. Most of Andy’s attention was firmly locked on the girl sitting next to him. At least until the professor began a roll call, saying “Aaron Anderson. . .” and rattling off countless names, giving only a brief pause to give students a chance to announce their presence. Andy returned his attention to the professor calling out his name, to say “Here,” but otherwise had his attention locked on the brunette girl to see what name she responded to, in the end Andy discovered that her name was “Alice Henderson,” making Andy wonder whether she was related to the professor. Either way, Andy spent the bulk of the class thinking about the brunette girl, and mentally reversing what he would say to her after class.



But, the very moment the professor concluded and dismissed the students the girl sitting on the far side of the brunette beat him to the punch, asking Alice, “Do you want to go get ice cream after class?” Alice responded, “Again? We already went after sculpting.” The other girl said “Hey, I always say okay when you want to go out, and I am dying for some more of that lemon sorbet.” The brunette said, “Honestly, I’d prefer some variety. But it was pretty good, so I’m in.” Andy never even looked at the other girl, leaving with no impression of her beyond the fact that she had black hair. Andy found himself out of the classroom in moments. Andy was no slouch normally, but today he was sure that he broke some kind of record, getting to the ice cream shop and into uniform before Alice could even show up. So, Andy relieved the student who worked there while he was in class, and took over just in time to see Alice stroll through the front door with the other student, who he now realized he'd seen here before, but still couldn’t think of a name for. For now he chose to focus entirely on Alice, a thing he would’ve done without a conscious decision anyway. “Hello there,” he said to the girls, “and welcome to greater than Zero, where the only thing lower than the ice cream’s temperature is it’s price.” The girl with Alice giggled and said “unless you measure it in Fahrenheit, thank god the prices aren’t over thirty-two dollars.” Andy, who had already heard this joke quite a few times himself, gave a forced laugh and tried to act natural as he pretended that he didn’t know that the two had been here already today



After that, Andy said “We have a sale on Sundae’s today, buy two to get one for thirty two percent off.” Eliciting another giggle from the girl who came in with Alice. Around this time Andy look at her a bit more closely. The girl had short, black hair that ended about where her neck began, it was almost painfully straight, in a way that made Sam think of a singer whose name didn’t come to mind. She was kind of chubby, but not by much, just enough that she looked a bit heavier than Alice, despite bejng slightly shorter. Other than that the girl was possibly the single most plain person who Andy had ever laid eyes on. She wasn’t ugly per se, just very easy to ignore and forget about. So Andy did just that and made eye contact with Alice as he said “So, what can I get for you two?” Alice said “We’ll have the buy two get one sale. I’ll take one with chocolate syrup, and whatever is your favorite.” Then nodded her head toward her friend and said “And whatever she wants.” For the other girl to say “I’ll have a lemon sorbet.” So Andy nodded, and got the girls their orders as they waited. Technically lemon sorbet wasn’t a sundae, and didn’t get the sale. But Andy’s boss had already told him that he could change things up a bit to make a sale, so it shouldn’t be a big problem.



As Andy got ice cream for the girls, he heard the girl with the black hair say. “You know, I’ve always been pretty jealous of your crazy metabolism. I swear, you eat twice as much as me at all times, and I don’t think I’ve seen you exercise once. But you’re still skinny. I wish I could get away with that without gaining a billion pounds.” Alice giggled and said “I’m sorry if it seems unfair Chelsea, I’ve just always been hungry.” She shrugged and said, “So, I eat a lot.” Which got Andy’s attention for two reasons. First, black hair girl’s name is Chelsea, second, Alice is a damned big eater, something that Andy already knew, but he was happy to get confirmation. Alice said “But Chelsea, everybody’s got some easy parts in life, and some hard parts. Like, I’ve had an easier time staying trim, and you’ve had an easier time with scholastic stuff. I suck at everything like that. Like, you got straight A’s in high school, and you saw my old report cards. Hell, in the long run your pros and cons are better than mine for most stuff in life.” She shrugged as Andy said “Okay, first Sundae is ready, I’ll get going on the lemon sorbet for you.” Nodding his head in Chelsea’s direction.



Nothing much of note really happened during the rest of that visit, except for one thing that Andy most certainly took note of, Alice finished her ice cream before Chelsea, somehow, and she did it despite having gotten far more. Plus Chelsea got her sorbet before Alice got her last sundae. Chelsea simply grumbled “Bet you don’t get brain freeze either.” Which Alice didn’t seem to notice. Andy spent the rest of the day thinking about Alice, even when he had the opportunity to watch other girls eat.



The rest of the day went uneventfully for Andy, but not for Chelsea, who remembered that she still had some work to finish in the college Chem lab, for the one class that she was taking early for her major, rather than general education. As she went down the hallway Chelsea’s head continued to swim with jealousy and annoyance at Alice and her situation. It was beyond unfair that this woman could down enough calories to feed five people and not gain a pound. But, as she walked down the hall, Chelsea had to stop when a conversation grabbed her attention. She overheard one of the school’s seniors talking to a professor, “But you said it was safe for human consumption!” the professor replied “and it is, it still fails to fulfill your assignment. You said that you had made a chemical that dramatically speeds up somebody’s metabolism in order to make a diet pill, this does just the opposite. So, unless you think it’s marketable to make somebody put weight on then I don’t see the point. So, while I must admit it is intriguing, the hypothetical diet company would flatly refuse to accept it.” Chelsea stopped walking and pulled out her notebook, pretending to have an epiphany of some sort that she simply had to write down at this moment, while listening in on the conversation more. The student said “But it could stop starvation in poor countries!” the professor sighed and said “Given how expensive the components are it would be more efficient to simply give them food. You said a teaspoon of it would effect an individual for a year, but a teaspoon of this would cost more than ten year’s worth of food in Ethiopia. Still, you may be on to something. So how’s this, if you can find a way to replicate the effect more cheaply, then I will give you an A on the assignment regardless, simply because your discovery is amazing, but, as it stands now, it neither causes a dramatic change in the International order, nor fulfills your assigned task.” With that he began to walk away. The student began to say “But, even if it isn’t a completed product, this is excellent proof that,” before dropping his voice down dramatically and quietly muttering, “proof that professor Jenkins is an asshole with impossible standards.” With a sigh. Before angrily throwing his assignment into a nearby trash can and storming off. Chelsea thought that it was like some ancient Greek myth. The Gods heard her complaints and created exactly what she had asked for. It’s not as though this ended terribly for Arachne either. So Chelsea remembered that she never finished reading the story about the woman with an oddly spider themed name and looked into the trash can to see what the student had discarded, thankfully the trash can was empty otherwise. So Chelsea simply reached in and grabbed a vial of a dull, grey liquid. The vial had a small label on it that said “Property of James. . .” and a great deal of writing that was unintelligible. Chelsea said to herself “Well, the professor said it was safe for human consumption, and he said that it was intended for a pill, so that must mean literal consumption.” She held the vial up and looked at it in the light, quietly musing to herself “So, one teaspoon is a year’s dosage.” Quietly pocketing the vial.



Meanwhile, a senior named James storms off to his car in a huff before stopping and saying “Aaww fuck. I should go save that stuff, shouldn’t I?” and he turned around, walking back to the chem building as he said “Okay, so one teaspoon split into three hundred and sixty five daily doses to be taken orally over the course of a year costs too much. But what if I. . .” he grinned widely as he walked faster. Unfortunately, by the time James got back to where he'd met professor Jenkins, his creation was long gone.