chapter 1

Oh my god, When I look back, I can’t believe how skinny I was. I was never a twig or anything, but back in high school I used to be so hot! OBVIOUSLY I’ve gotten fat. Sometimes I literally can’t believe it. It feels like it just kind of happened. Like I kept thinking I wouldn’t, but I just kept putting on weight. But I here’s the story of how I got fat I guess:

When I graduated in 05, I just weighed 135 lbs. 5’7, that was pretty trim. Back then I was brunette with a tight little as, a flat stomach, small perky boobs, long slender legs and pretty face.

In high school I was a bit of a theater girl. I wasn’t weird about it or anything, but it took enough of my time that I never developed any interest in sports or exercising at all. Even without exercise, I pretty much ate whatever I wanted. I didn’t eat a lot or anything though. I just wasn’t an overeater so I stayed slim. With my slim physique and pretty face, I knew I could turn heads and I loved it. I know I’m not supposed to care, but I’ve always been a sucker for attention. ESPECIALLY from hot guys.

When I went off to Syracuse College, I actually didn’t gain much weight. Even if I only put on a little weight then, I developed a lot of bad habits. I definitely partied a lot, but I was on a big campus and so active it didn’t seem to make much of a difference at first. I ate and drank what I wanted, and I guess I walked most of it off between classes or danced it off at parties. During my college career, the only change I noticed was my ass got a little bigger.

My growing ass was great for my sex-life. By my 5th year of undergrad, I’d put packed about 20 lbs onto my ass, and it drove guys wild. I had my pick of guys on any of the sports teams. I think this feedback fucked me up though. Essentially what I learned about weight gain in college was, don’t worry about it.

Eventually toward the end of my super-senior year, I started dating this guy Dave. He was super hot and a pitcher of on the baseball team. After college we moved in together. We had a little apartment in Albany. He had gotten a job coaching baseball and I got a job doing film work with an ad-agency.

Somehow, that relationship lasted three years. I think it was more serious for him than for me. I was in a phase of my life where I was really impulsive and just did whatever I wanted. I traveled, made friends and went to festivals. I also slept around kind of a lot. I know I should feel more guilty about it, but Dave would usually stay home when I went on my adventures. Plus, like I said earlier, I am a total sucker for attention from hot guys, and my ass turning heads.

Honestly, I hate that I feel guilty, he was a total wet blanket. I wanted to have fun and live life, and he wanted to do was cook healthy meals and drag me to 5ks. The only good thing that came from that relationship was that his healthy habits stopped me from gaining weight while we dated. I do have to say, not gaining weight then was kind of impressive. A lot of my partying friends we’re starting to look chubby.

After Dave and I split, I half expected myself to go off the depend, but I didn’t. I still went out a lot with my friends, but drinking was starting to lose some of its appeal. Instead, we would go to nice restaurants to eat then go try to find rich hot guys at expensive cocktail bars. My friends and I were turning into classy ladies. It was so much more fun than the party scene. But, with no more 5ks and all that food and drink, I started to gain weight pretty quickly. A year after splitting with Dave I was up to 170 lbs and the year after that I was 185.

The crazy thing was up to this point, the heavier I got the more guys were into me. According to my doctor, at 5’7 185 I was nearly obese, but I know for a fact he liked it because I fucked him in the exam room. Oh man, he is gorgeous. Anyway, almost all of the weight I put on went to my ass, I guess my thighs were getting pretty thick and my boobs were starting to grow a bit too. But my upper body still looked trim. Like sure, I didn’t have a toned stomach or anything, but in a tight little cocktail dress I didn’t show any hints of a belly and my face was just as beautiful as ever. The only thing that bugged me about my appearance at all was that my arms had lost all of their tone, but the rich guys at the bar didn’t care, so I really didn’t either. I had put on 50 lbs since high school and somehow I had every guy wrapped around my finger.

Then, all in one day right around when I hit 185lbs, my fate to turn into a fatty was sealed. Even with my sex life peaking, I was wildly out of shape. I hadn’t exercised at all in two years and I’d put on 30 lbs. I didn’t want to lose weight, I felt to sexy, but I wanted to maintain. So I tried to go for a jog one day. I barely made it half a mile. My sports bra was too tight to breath and my fat ass bounced around o much it felt like I was giving the world a show. So instead I resolved to eat better. Almost immediately after deciding to eat healthy, it occurred to me how much I liked good food. So I made a new resolution, I wouldn’t eat healthy, I’d just eat less.