chapter 4

‘Hey Ems, just seeing if you’re alright? Miss you baby xxx’


‘I’m good thanks tommy, just finished eating 2 chocolate eclaires, a Victoria sponge cake, 2 caramel custard doughnuts, the tray of profiteroles and The rhubarb and custard trifle! :))) xxx’


‘Sounds nice Ems, you must be stuffed! Xxx’


‘I’m full but not stuffed lol xxx’


‘Grab some more food then Ems, there’s plenty more in the fridge and cupboards, help yourself xxx’


‘I’ve already eaten over 7000 calories today tommy and it’s not even 10 o’clock yet! Xxx’


‘So? You’re supposed to be ‘letting go’ remember, you told me that you couldn’t wait to start this year with no worries and that you’re just gonna do what makes you happy...even if that does include eating 4x the recommended daily calorie intake in 2 and a half hours lol! Xxx’


‘Fuck it you’re right! I’ll text you later babe, I’ve got some serious eating to do ;)))) xxx’


‘Have fun babe lol! xxx’


Tom was right, 2015 is the year of making myself happy and if I hurry I can make it back before the next episode starts!


There are two reasons why I don’t like getting up out of bed, the first reason is obvious...I’m big fat and lazy! The second reason being that I have to walk past the full length mirror in our bedroom, I’m forced to look at what a fat blob I’ve become! I try not to look at my body but because I keep getting fatter and fatter by the day it’s getting harder and harder to ignore myself! So I think today is the day I finally take a proper look at myself, if I’ve accepted the fact that I’m never going to be skinny ever again and I’m going to continue to eat to my hearts content I may as well fully embrace what my gluttony is doing to my body and accept it! Like I said early, 2015 is my year of happiness!


My belly is literally half way down my shins now! Split into 2 balls of flubber..no wonder I struggle walking with it in the way of my thighs...speaking of thighs my god they’re chunky! Literally like tree trunks covered in dimples, cellulite and jiggle with the slightest movement! To be fair my whole body jiggles at the slightest touch, all I’ve gotta do it take a deep breath and that’ll send a ripple down my body! Even my arms are bigger then most girls thighs not to mention my tits, I could seriously do with a breast reduction but there’s no point when the rest of me is so big, no way could I find a bra that’s fits they sag down past my waist! And yet here I am about to walk to the kitchen and grab even more food to stuff into my already obese body!


Finally I’m back in bed with my fully loaded food tray next to me, 2 share bags of Doritos, 4 steak slices, 2 bbq rib sandwiches, 2 fresh cream slices, 4 triple chocolate muffins, 6 person red velvet cake and finally a litre of chocolate milk to wash it all down with! Hopefully this should easily last me a few hours....well until lunch at least! I didn’t get back quick enough and I’ve missed the first 10 minutes of the program but luckily I can rewind it!


Fucking hell maybe I went a little over board, they’re must be 9,000 calories here! Maybe I should put some back, I’m just being greedy...although what does Tom say? ‘Be yourself’ ‘do what make you happy’ and to be honest the thought of having to get back out of bed and walk back to the kitchen wouldn’t make be happy at all....cramming both of these fresh cream slices into my mouth at the same time on the other hand would make me veeeery happy!


*GGGRRROOOOWWLLLL*


Well I guess that decided it! Fresh cream slices.... come to momma!


‘MMMPPHHH! So fucking MPH good!’


Look at the poor woman Paula suffering, restricted to 1200 calories a day and forced to exercise, god she looks miserable! And yet here I am weighing 80 pound more than her currently devouring a rib sandwich and a chocolate muffin at the same time and I couldn’t be happier! This alone is more calories than she’s allowed in an entire day...in fact just this tray of food I’m currently working through is 600 calories more then she eats in an entire week! Why does that make me feel so smug? It shouldn’t, it’s nothing to be proud about, it’s disgusting that a young woman like myself can eat this much but for some reason it makes my pussy tingle!